Sex is one of the greatest joys in human existence, but unfortunately, like breathing, eating, and sleeping, we aren’t born knowing exactly what to do.
Many people, both men, and women, struggle with sex positions, understanding what positions and techniques work best for them, and being able to communicate their desires to their partner successfully.
Whether you are just starting out with sex or feel you could benefit from learning more about sex advice on how to please your partner better, check out these tips.
Table of Contents
The Eight Must-Know Techniques
Sexual pleasure is just as important as breathing, eating, and sleeping, so why not give yourself every chance to enjoy it fully?
These techniques will help you and your partner achieve maximum relationship satisfaction together.
Give Her a Pussy Massage
You probably tried fingering a girl, but have you ever given one a pussy massage? A pussy massage is like fingering but ten times better!
Massaging her pussy is one of the best ways to increase pleasure before intercourse. It stimulates increased blood flow in to the area and increases sensitivity.
To stimulate the vulva, use your fingers. Get the area wet with lube or her natural juices, then start gently rubbing up and down without focusing on the clitoris.
Then move toward the clitoris and rub in a circular motion. Watch her reaction, paying close attention to her body language.
The trick to a great pussy massage is saving her clit for last. Take your time exploring the entire area with your hands and fingers without focusing on any particular goal. There’s no pressure to make her orgasm!
Keep rubbing and massaging until she slides closer to you, attempting to get your fingers on her clit, or she moans and demands that you touch her. Until either of those things happen, make her wait. The goal is to allow the sexual tension to build until you feel you can not take it any longer.
Become an Oral Sex God
Cunnilingus, or “going down on a girl,” means using your tongue, lips, and entire mouth to pleasure a woman.
Becoming an oral sex god is no easy feat, but luckily, we’ve already detailed how on our website. Hint: If you’re still doing the ABCs while giving her oral, you’ve already messed up!
Being good is a lot more than being able to use your tongue. Great oral involves:
- Turning her on before going down on her
- Massaging her entire vulva before using your tongue
- Hitting the right spots on her body with your tongue
- Taking your time
- Using your fingers to find her G Spot, A Spot, or D Spot.
One of the best sex tips we can offer you is this — learn how to love her pussy more than she does, and only go down on her if you want to.
Women love oral just as much as any guy loves having his dick sucked. However, she won’t love it if she feels you aren’t interested or only giving her a turn so that she returns the favor later on.
Make Her Squirt
Squirting is a mythical feat accomplished by seemingly only porn stars, but what if we told you that squirting was something you can do in your bedroom and that most women who try it end up loving it!
Squirting is another skill that takes practice, but it is well worth the trouble! We’ve detailed how to make a woman squirt in a YouTube video, but if you’re short on time, bookmark it for later, read this, and remember;
- Ask her to go to the bathroom beforehand
- Put a towel down
- Pick a comfortable position
- Apply pressure to her G Spot
- Take your time
- When she says the magic words, “I feel like I’m about to pee!” tell her to let go, then pull your fingers out!
Squirt comes out the urethra, which may be blocked by your hand while fingering her G Spot. Therefore, it’s important that you move your hand out of the way when she’s ready.
Squirting is a highly pleasurable activity for many women, and those who have tried it love it! If you want to pleasure your partner in new and exciting ways, try squirting.
Use Your Words
Dirty talking is a fun way to spice things up in bed. It is a form of foreplay that allows couples to express themselves sexually. It can be used as an icebreaker to get each other in the mood before meeting up, or it can be used to get the juices flowing at maximum volume while inside the bedroom together.
Dirty talk can also help you learn more about your partner’s mind and their likes and dislikes. If you want to know what turns them on, try dirty talking. You may find out something new about yourself and your partner.
Dirty talk is one of those sexual activities that many people feel awkward doing. Afterall, speaking vile and explicit content to your partner seems unnatural to many people who are inhibited in their sexual expression.
You might even feel like you disrespected her if you demand she gets down on her knees and blows you like a little slut. And you might be out of line for saying such things, so communication before the dirty talk is essential!
She might love being called a dirty little slut or hate it, but you won’t know unless you ask her beforehand. Trust us; you want to learn her limits before saying something she might find offensive.
Nothing is off-limits as long as both parties consent to what’s being said.
Dirty talk is one of men’s most unrated sex tips because women love listening to their partner’s voices and being told sexy, romantic, or even vile things in the name of great sex!
Master the Basic Sex Positions
The three sex positions below are entry-level and easy enough for beginners to try. We recommend these three positions to master as one of our sex tips for men because there are numerous variations and ways to spice up these three by adding sex toys, handcuffs, or blindfolds; and more importantly, you don’t need to be inside your bedroom to perform any of these positions.
Missionary
This is one of the easiest positions to learn. She must lie face up on the bed with you on top of her. Her legs should be spread wide apart for you to enter her. Some women prefer slightly closing their legs to create a tighter sensation. Once inside, move your hips back and forth.
Doggy Style
This is another easy position to learn. Ask your partner to lie face down (Flat Doggy) or slightly elevated (Standard Doggy) on the bed with her legs wide open. Enter her from behind, and start moving your hips back and forth.
Cowgirl
Lie flat on your back and pull your partner on top of you. Position her over your penis and allow her to control the penetration depth as she bounces up and down.
Don't Be Afraid of Your Dominant Side
Dominance is sexy.
Dominance is not about leading without permission or taking control of someone without consent. It’s about leading with purpose, letting your partner know she’s safe, and allowing her to relax and know you can handle things.
Dominance is not only key to a great sex life; it’s essential to a healthy relationship.
Become a World Class Kisser
Kissing is a common way to express affection and intimacy. Kisses can be soft, romantic, passionate, sensual, or aggressive.
A kiss can be simple, lasting no longer than a peck on the cheek, or elaborate, involving tongue and lip action.
However, you aren’t kissing your grandmother here, are you? Don’t kiss your partner the way you would your grandmother while she’s knitting on the sofa. Passionately grab your partner and explore her hair and soft neck. Use your tongue and explore her mouth while you kiss. This tutorial will teach you how to become a phenomenal kisser.
Use Sex Toys
Sex toys are fundamental to an exciting and interesting experience inside the bedroom. Don’t think of a sex toy as a replacement for you; think of it as an extension of your arm, fingers, or penis designed to deliver maximum pleasure to your partner.
Here’s our list of the best and must-have sex toys on the market.
The Hitachi Wand
The Hitachi wand is truly a girl’s best friend; with many settings, it is one of the best toys on the market for clitoral stimulation. Better yet, this toy can be used before, during, or after sex.
G-Spot Vibrator
The G Spot vibrator is a vibrating sex toy that stimulates the G-spot inside the vagina. It has been described as “a must-have” toy due to its extreme pleasure.
The G Spot vibrator can be used in solo or partnered play, with or without penetration.
If you are looking for a G Spot vibrator in an online sex store, stop there! Before you process your order, add the Hitachi Wand to your shopping cart for a mind-blowing Hail Mary Combo that will have her screaming in delight.
Remote Egg
The remote egg is a remote-controlled egg-shaped vibrator. It has several settings and can be discreetly used in a public setting.
We love this toy because you can request that your partner puts it inside her before your date. While sitting calmly at the restaurant, take the remote from your pocket and turn it on without her noticing. This is a fun and secret little game because the more satisfying it becomes, the harder it will be to hold in her moans.
Vibrating Butt Plug
The vibrating butt plug is a vibrator used for anal stimulation. It comes in a few sizes and can be used for anal play or vaginal sex with your partner.
We love the vibrating butt plug because the vibrations are strong enough to be felt through the vaginal wall while having sex.
The Double Dong
It is a cock ring meets dido! This sex toy is attached to the base of the penis and allows for double penetration of your partner during sex.
We love this sex toy because it is great for couples who enjoy anal and double penetration but perhaps are not so keen on inviting a third party into the bedroom.
The Suction Cup Dildo
It’s a dildo with a suction cup attachment. It can be attached to any smooth surface for your partner to use it as a standard dildo.
We recommend the suction cup dildo for a fun time in the shower! Stick it to the shower wall and ask her to pleasure herself while you watch before getting in on the action. Or get freaky in the kitchen by attaching the sex toy to the refrigerator or smooth floors.
The Cock Ring
A cock ring is a male sex toy worn around the penis to increase blood flow and help maintain an erection.
Cock rings are available in many shapes, sizes, colors, and textures. They may also come with vibrators or other attachments for added stimulation. “Cock ring” is sometimes used interchangeably with “penis ring.”
Handcuffs
Velcro handcuffs aren’t just for couples interested in kink. These little guys can be added to any bedroom for couples looking to engage in submission and dominance play.
The Twenty Must-Do's for Better Sex
These are our 20 easy methods to improve your love life.
None of these techniques require special investments or major changes to your lifestyle. They’re just simple things you can do to make your relationship stronger and have better, wetter, and hotter sex.
Have More Foreplay
You might think foreplay is only important before intercourse, but it’s important throughout the entire act.
Foreplay helps build excitement and anticipation and gives you time to prepare for the main event. What is foreplay? When you think about it, foreplay has three main components: physical touch, verbal communication, and mental stimulation.
Touch is essential during foreplay. Keep the touches light and gentle first, then move on to something more stimulating.
Communication is key to any relationship, but especially during foreplay. Talking dirty is a fun way to spice up your lovemaking experience. Try saying something naughty or even talking dirty while whispering in your lover’s ear.
Engage her mind with your words, images, and imagination. Give her something to think about before sex by saying something that turns her on, showing her a sexy image, watching porn together, or allowing her to watch you touch yourself.
You can use any of these components or a combination of all three to build anticipation before sex and get your partner to a point where she not only wants sex, but craves it.
Send Her a Sex Letter
A sex letter is precisely what it sounds like. Describe everything you want to do to your partner’s body in graphic and vivid detail.
You can focus on the specific areas of her body, activities you fantasize about, her beauty, and her general sex appeal. The goal is to keep it natural. You shouldn’t write something that sounds out of character or forced.
Sex tips for men, such as this one, are great for building up anticipation because you can leave the note anywhere for her to find inside the house, at her desk in the office, or even placed neatly on the passenger seat before she drives off to work or anywhere else in town.
Plus, there’s something overly romantic about a handwritten note placed neatly for a woman to find that is enough to drive her sex drive to previously unreachable levels.
Tease Her Before Sex
A similar sex tip on this list involves giving your lover a sensual massage before sex, a form of teasing.
Any teasing before sex is great for building anticipation, releasing energy, and introducing playfulness before sex.
For great sex, you must learn how to be comfortable sitting in sexual energy and sexual desire. Don’t only tease her, but allow her to playfully tease you throughout the day with suggestive text messages, photos, comments, positioning as she walks around the house, and more.
Don’t feel the need to jump on her while she does this. Sit back. Enjoy the show, and when sexual tension is sky-high, you can move on to something a little more intense.
Plan for Sex
If you want a good sex life, don’t let the lack of sex be a problem because of fatigue or the difficulty finding the “right” time.
You must set aside time for sex, especially if you have hectic work schedules, children, and countless other responsibilities. If not, you will find that the passion starts to dwindle over time, and you go from having sex infrequently to not having it at all.
We are not saying that you should have sex every day, but we are saying that you should ensure that you get enough sex in your life, even if only once a week.
You can do this by setting aside some time each week for sex. This doesn’t mean that you have to spend hours planning. Schedule a few minutes during your lunch break or when you get home.
Here are some tips for making time for sexual intimacy with your partner.
- Send the children away to their friend's house.
- Turn off your cell phones and log off social media to avoid receiving nonessential messages while you are attempting intimacy with your partner.
- Wear sexy clothing as a reminder that now is about sex.
- Position candles and decorate the bedroom.
- Don't talk about anything else. If you feel the conversation has drifted away from sexual topics, bring it back by asking something sexual again. You don't want your one-hour sex session to transform into a one-hour talk about the children's futures.
Take It Slow in Bed
You have sex how you masturbate, and if you’re constantly rushing to reach the finish line before someone knocks on the door, it’s no wonder you can’t last long in bed with someone else.
Healthy masturbating habits help with lasting longer and maintaining an erection for an extended period during sex.
We get it. We all learn how to masturbate by secretly watching porn before mom can come home or sneaking a peak at dad’s hidden Playboy magazines under the bed.
After a decade or more of rushing to orgasm, it can be difficult to slow down and move at a woman’s pace. That’s why we created a secret to healthy masturbation habits YouTube tutorial for men who want to unlearn negative patterns.
Try Orgasm Denial
Orgasm denial is when you prevent your partner from reaching the Big O to allow more sexual tension to build and obtain greater sexual satisfaction.
Next time you’re with your partner, and she’s on the brink of climax, hold eye contact and say, “You can only cum when I tell you to.” Remind her she’s not allowed to cum as she pleads with you.
If you’re interested in role reversal, this also works when she’s in control of sex and demanding that you don’t cum until she allows you to.
Practice Non-Ejaculation
Non-ejaculation is a form of orgasm denial. It’s basically the same idea as orgasm denial, except that instead of stopping her from orgasm, you stop yourself from ejaculating.
To practice non-ejaculation, you need to master the art of delayed ejaculation. Delayed ejaculation means deferring ejaculation long enough to last longer than usual, a practice that some men find difficult.
If you manage to do so, better sex is guaranteed. When you last longer in bed, you can give your partner more pleasure and experience more yourself.
Try Role-Playing
Role-playing lets you act out fantasies you might otherwise never experience. For instance, you could pretend you’re a naughty doctor examining your partner or a police officer arresting a dirty little criminal. Or you could try pretending you’re a teacher instructing his student.
If you want to role-play with your lover, here are some sex tips for getting started:
- Ask for her opinion. She must be comfortable with what you’re doing. So make sure you ask questions beforehand. Ask how she feels about certain situations, such as bondage, spanking, or anything else that may be part of your fantasy. If she is not comfortable with something, don't do it and try something else instead. Likewise, if she agrees but seems hesitant, go slow and be prepared to stop.
- Take your time role-playing. It’s easy to jump right into things when you first start role-playing. But if you want to keep things interesting, slow down and go at your own pace. Take turns being dominant and submissive. Alternate between giving and receiving pleasure. Or switch roles every so often. Allow yourselves time to become fully engaged in the fantasy before taking things up a notch.
- Be honest. Don’t lie to yourself or your partner about what you want to do. If you’ve fantasized about something, share it with your partner. Don't assume she won't understand your fantasy or judge you.
- Be safe. Let your imagination run wild, but don't let it run too wild! You still need to remember safe words and condoms (if you use condoms) before things get too intense in the bedroom.
- Be open to new things. Try different positions, different stimulation types, and different intensity levels. The more you experiment, the better you’ll become at pleasing your partner.
Role-Playing Ideas
If you’re looking for ways to spice up your sex life, consider using these role-play fantasy scenarios when making love to your partner.
The Sexy Teacher
Your student is a hot and naughty girl. She comes to class wearing a tight skirt and high heels. You have her sit next to you on the desk. You reach under her skirt and feel her smooth thighs. You pull her skirt off and expose her thong panties — clearly against the school dress code. She’ll have to be punished for that.
The Sexy Boss
She is your secretary at a big company. You forgot something at the office, and she will have no choice but to travel to your home and bring it to you. She knocks, but not loud enough to get your attention, enters the home and goes upstairs to bring your very important suitcase. When she gets upstairs, she finds the door open and you naked, rock hard, and ready to go.
The Sexy Police Officer
She is a police officer and has just pulled over a car driven by a young man (you). She notices the driver is very nervous and tells you to leave the car, where she frisks you. As she searches, she notices you are hiding something in your pants. She discovers you are packing a “gun when she removes your shorts.” She arrests and handcuffs you. She decides to make sure you don’t escape.
The Sexy Fireman
You are a fireman working late at night when you hear someone calling for help. While running into the home, you discover a beautiful half-naked woman on the bed. She happily greets you and thanks you for coming before saying it was a false alarm. The fire is gone, but since you’re here, you should stay and take off that heavy fireproof jacket and your other clothes.
The Sexy Nurse
She has been called in to see a patient who has had an accident. You are on the bed, moaning in pain. She looks around the room and notices no one else is there. She takes advantage of the situation and begins to undress you — for the examination, of course.
The Sexy Doctor
You are a sexy doctor. Your patient is a beautiful woman. She is sitting in the exam room waiting for you. You ask her to strip down to her bra and underwear so you can take a closer look.
You get the idea here! Whatever you can imagine, as long as it’s consensual, is fair game. Many women enjoy submission and dominance role-playing, so suggest a role-play where she’s a helpless maiden, beautiful secretary, naughty student, or frightened woman home alone at night.
Talk About Your Sexual Fantasies
Talking about your sexual fantasies is a great technique to enhance any romantic encounter. Talking about your fantasies helps you communicate your deepest desires openly without fear of rejection. Doing so shows your partner that she means a lot to you. And you give her an idea of how to please you better next time!
Here are some tips on how to talk about your sexual fantasies:
- Start by talking about yourself and what turns you on. This will help her get into the right frame of mind for sharing her fantasies.
- Be honest in your communication. Don’t be afraid to tell your partner all your secrets and fantasies. However, don't feel pressured into sharing something you aren't yet ready to. Some fantasies come with baggage, such as fear of rejection, feelings of awkwardness, or shame and guilt. Although it should not be that way, we understand that sometimes it is. Share at your own pace. You don't need to reveal everything at one time.
- Remember that fantasy doesn't mean reality. Just because you fantasize about something doesn't mean you want to act upon it in a non-consensual way. For example, many women have forced or rape fantasies. Likewise, if there's something on your mind, don't feel like it shines a negative light on you by sharing it. It’s just a fantasy!
- Never force yourself to act on your fantasies. If you feel like acting on your fantasies, then do it. But if you find that you're unable to do something, then don't worry. Try something else, even if you went out of your way to purchase supplies such as ropes, handcuffs, or other toys. You can always try again later when the mood is right.
Explore Her Entire Body
If you’re trying to figure out how to please a woman, start by exploring her entire body. Take time to appreciate every inch of her skin, and use your hands to explore her curves. Pay attention to her breasts, buttocks, neck, ears, lips, eyes, hair, or toes. Any particularly sensitive area should be fair game during the evening of pleasure.
This is paramount because 50% of men jump straight to penetration, and the other 50% think they’re sex gods because they give their partner oral before penetration.
Don’t get us wrong. Being an oral sex god will please many women, and it is one of the sex tips on this list. However, don’t leave out all her other erogenous zones.
An erogenous zone is an area of the body that can be stimulated to produce sexual arousal. The most common areas are the nipples, clitoris, vagina, anus, and mouth. Other areas include the perineum, inner thighs, knees, ankles, shoulders, armpits, feet, scalp, and ears.
Remember: Sex is supposed to be fun! It’s neither a competition nor a high-stakes match with a clear winner and loser. Grab some massage oil and give her the best massage of her life, paying attention to those erogenous zones.
No massage oil? No problem. Instead, use your lips to engage her entire body with the 1000 kisses of death, a term we coined at SQL.
The 1000 kisses of death involve your mouth on her body, kissing every inch of her until she begs you to stop.
This is one of the best sex tips we can give men — don’t think of her body as only her breasts and clitoris. She’s more than that, and sex is ten times more pleasurable when you think of her body as a whole instead of an individual breast or clit.
Give Her a Sensual Massage Before Sex
A sensual massage can really turn her on. Try using oils, lotion, or candles to enhance the experience.
It is important to note that a sensual massage does not necessarily require nudity. However, removing as much clothing as you are comfortable with is advisable.
You don’t need to spend any particular amount of time on one area unless it’s the area that gives her the most pleasure. You may find that your partner enjoys a head massage more than a back massage. Whatever she likes, focus on that particular area.
After touching the non-sexual areas of her body, slide your hand over her breasts and then between her thighs for a pussy massage.
Try Mutual Masturbation
Masturbating together is a great way to bond and connect with your partner. Not only does it bring you closer together physically, but it can also increase your desire for each other.
When you masturbate together, you’ll experience the same feelings as during intercourse. You can create even greater sensations by using toys, lube, and positions that allow for mutual stimulation.
Make a Sex Tape
If you’re not sure you’re really having the best sex of your life, why not record it? Make a video of your lovemaking session and watch it later. You might find that watching your own sex life makes you more aware of what you like and dislike.
Or, the other scenario might be true — you love everything you see and get incredibly turned on watching it together.
Before making a sex tape, ensure your partner wants one. Not every woman is comfortable recording or taking photos while nude. She might have had a bad experience with a previous partner where he or she released the photos or videos without consent or experienced a bad breakup where her partner refused to delete the footage. In both cases, approach with care.
She might be more willing to make a sex tape if she is the one who has control over it. For example, that might mean recording on her phone and guaranteeing she’s the only one with a copy of it.
If she’s still hesitant to make one, drop the subject. Maybe she will change her mind in the future; maybe she will not, and you can do something else that is highly erotic and arousing instead, so continue reading for more bedroom inspiration.
Have a Perfect Sex Day
A healthy sex life is based on having your needs met by your partner and fulfilling her needs. When you enact a perfect sex day, you allow her to give you maximum sexual satisfaction.
During your perfect sex day, your partner must meet your needs, engage in whatever sexual fantasies you have, agree to oral sex, and watch porn with you as foreplay. Whatever you think will make you the happiest man alive is fair game.
In the following session, roles reverse. Instead of your perfect sex day, it’s hers. She will now dictate what sexual play is on the morning, day, and evening agenda.
Decorate the House
Decorating the house for sexual pleasure means buying candles, bubble baths, and more. It can create an environment where she feels comfortable and relaxed to enjoy herself.
Not only this, it’s important to set the scene before engaging in sexual intercourse. Life sometimes gets in the way, meaning we might not enjoy sex as often as we would like.
With a specific location and atmosphere for sex, there’s no need to worry about missing out on a golden opportunity for intercourse.
Go on a Sex-cation
Don’t be afraid to take your partner on a spontaneous trip to some romantic destination or even a staycation where you’re mere minutes away from the house but far enough that it feels like a special event.
Creating time for you and your significant other is an underrated way to improve your sex life. Although creating a plan may not seem sexy, it can help create a sense of anticipation and excitement leading up to the event, increasing the chances of having better sex.
Traveling to improve your sex life is fun but can also be stressful and overwhelming if you don’t know what to do or where to go. Here are some tips on how to make the most of your trip:
- Make sure your partner knows that you want to have sex with them, which is part of the reason you planned this trip. It may sound obvious, but many people forget about this step. They assume their partners will automatically understand their desires, but this isn’t always true.
- Plan ahead. Make sure you have plenty of condoms, lube, etc. Don’t only wait to buy these items after you arrive at your destination.
- Leave room to be spontaneous. Planning too much can ruin the fun, and instead, try to leave room for unexpected opportunities to have sex or be romantic in unexpected places or situations.
- Use your imagination. We don't all have to visit the same beautiful islands or stay at the same hotels, do we? Give it a shot if you have an unusual travel itinerary or romantic getaway idea.
- Don’t go overboard. You don't need to have sex every day. If you feel exhausted, rest. Maybe you'd rather watch a film together. As tempting as having sex in a new place each day is, you don't have to do so to get something out of the experience.
Get Kinky
Kink is a word that has been used to describe various sexual practices. It can be defined as the practice or enjoyment of activities involving physical contact, restraint, and/or pain.
Kink is often associated with BDSM (Bondage & Discipline / Dominance & Submission). Still, it also refers to other forms of non-mainstream sexuality, such as fetishes, role-playing, and exhibitionism.
If any of these things sound exciting, discuss them with your partner. Kink can turn a boring Sunday toss around in the sheets into something ten times better!
You don’t have to have any fancy devices to get involved in kink, although that helps. You can start with a normal tie or headscarf and turn it into makeshift handcuffs, blindfolds, or floggers.
Enjoy Sexual Tension
Many people are uncomfortable sitting in sexual tension and feel an incredible urge to do something about it when it builds.
You might recognize this scenario. You finally get the woman of your dreams to do some sex position, sex act, or role-play that you have dreamed about for months. Instead of allowing time to enjoy the experience to the fullest, you jump into action without thinking, “Oh, shit, I should probably enjoy this longer!”
Learn to be comfortable with sexual tension and allow it to build up to the maximum before doing anything about it.
If you can master delayed gratification, not only will your sex life improve, but you might also find yourself improving in other aspects.
Use Enough Lube
Many kinds of lubricants are available for use in the bedroom. Some are water-soluble, while others are oil-soluble. Water-soluble lubricant products are better for sex because they don’t damage latex or rubber.
As a general sex tip for men, you should always keep a small container of lubricant handy in their bedroom so you don’t have to stop having fun because you forgot to bring some from the store.
Make a Sex Playlist
A sexlist or sex playlist is your soundtrack to a pleasure-filled evening with your partner. Many women enjoy soft sounds while they make love, while others enjoy something harder and more energetic.
You could even design a playlist that starts slowly with soft R&B, romantic ballads, and soft pop before transitioning into energetic hyper-pop, metal, rock & roll, or trance.
There’s no wrong sex playlist, except one that does not get you and her in the mood. When designing your sex playlist, remember the type of music she likes and enjoys during non-sexual activities. For example, if she doesn’t listen to 90s ballads, she probably won’t enjoy making love to them either.
Watch our YouTube video for a more in-depth guide to creating a sexlist.
Ten Don'ts to Improve Your Sex Life
There are a few don’ts to consider when making love to someone. The usual suspects are time, consent, judgment, and expectations.
If you aren’t quite sure what we mean by those, don’t worry, we’ll explain. If you find yourself in the negative on one of the above topics, it’s time to reconsider your bedroom habits.
Don't Stick It in Right Away
Great sex takes a lot of time. Quickies are amazing, but our entire sex life cannot consist of them if you want to be an excellent, not mediocre, lover.
When you get into bed with a woman, penetration should be the evening’s last course on the menu.
Enjoy sensual touching, massages, giving and receiving oral sex, talking about sex, and enjoying each other’s time before penetrative sex.
Don't Put in Zero Effort
You can’t expect a great sex life without any effort. Like anything else, success comes from hard work and a bit of luck.
When you start seeing someone you are interested in, plan dates ahead of time (avoid midnight booty calls if you’re serious about that woman), buy flowers and chocolates (romance is still greatly appreciated), open car doors, and pay for meals. This means she enters the house, closes the door behind her, and turns on the light before you drive away.
Small details are not only appreciated but needed if you want to show her you are seriously interested and want to invest your time and energy into her.
Once you’re a couple, continue investing in her. Life gets in the way sometimes, but that’s not an excuse to never do anything spontaneous, romantic, or sexy.
If you live together, this could mean taking her on a nice weekly date to her favorite restaurant, booking a hotel for the evening (even if you have a house nearby), and going out together.
In terms of the bedroom, put effort into your technique, be open to new sex positions, and continue learning how to please each other even after being together for an extensive period.
Never Judge a Woman
Everyone has a sexual history; hers might be more explicit and colorful than yours. Whatever the case, never judge a woman for her sexual history. If she’s a virgin or has slept with five hundred men, it’s only her business.
Based on her sexual history, you might not want to continue seeing her, but keep it classy and respectful. You don’t need to share your opinion about her sexuality or body count.
Don't Make Negative Comments About Her Body
This should go without saying, but a gentleman never disrespects a woman, much less his partner, by commenting negatively about her body. Chances are, she already knows about her flaws!
For example, you don’t need to comment that she doesn’t look the same way as when you first started dating. The fact that her old dresses don’t fit anymore told her that already.
Whatever you do, never comment about her breast shape, size, or any particularly sensitive area of her body because poor self-esteem inside and outside the bedroom does not equal great sex.
Now that that’s been said, here’s what you can discuss instead.
Make positive comments about her body, but always keep it genuine. For instance, if you comment that she changed her hair, but she has not cut, dyed, or altered her hair in any way for the last two years, that won’t work in your favor.
Disingenuous comments are worse than saying nothing at all and will backfire.
Don't Rush Intimate Relationships
As mentioned, great sex takes time.
When you finally get to the bedroom, never rush a woman into removing her clothes. If she wants to rip them off, go ahead! But you shouldn’t immediately jump on her and pull off her bra and underwear whenever you are together.
Start slow and get to the point where you’re only in your underwear.
Don't Always Go for a Quickie
Quickies are great! A quickie is the best option when you only have five to ten minutes before work or want to quickly release sexual tension before the kids walk through the front door after school.
But, a quickie can not be the foundation of your sex life. Instead, think of it as fast food. It’s tasty. It fills you up. Furthermore, it gets the job done, but it’s not something you should turn into a habit because it’s a serious risk to your health!
Don't Take Things Personally
One of the best sex tips we can give you is this — feedback is meant to help you, not hurt you.
Don’t take feedback personally. If a woman says, you cum too quickly. Don’t automatically get defensive. Instead, ask questions. Why does she think you cum too quickly? Ideally, how long would she like you to last? When you ask questions instead of jumping to conclusions, you work toward improving the situation, not running around in circles with her.
She might be wrong! That, too, could be the problem, but at least by listening to her criticism, you learn something about how she thinks, her desires, her expectations, and how you might be able to please each other better.
Don't Worry About Your Penis Size
A popular belief among men is that they need a bigger penis. If only my penis were bigger, my problems would disappear.
Sorry (or not sorry, because this is good news for men’s health), but a bigger penis won’t solve your problems for the following reasons:
- Some women prefer smaller penises.
- Some women do not care — A dick is a dick!
- It's not your penis size that determines how good of a lover you are in the bedroom. It’s your presence and technique.
- You can have a big penis, but still, be shit in bed because read bullet point three!
It’s not about your penis size. It is more about your presence with your partner and technique than any physical attribute.
Don't Mimic Porn
Porn has pros and cons. It’s fun to watch together with your partner as foreplay but bad for your sex life if you think certain aspects of sex happen the way they do in pornography.
For example, how many women can jump straight into anal without any warm-up or preparation? Probably zero! You didn’t see the preparation the porn actress went through to film those scenes, so, to an uninformed viewer, it looks like she just jumped straight into anal DP without a single bottle of lube in sight!
Use porn as foreplay if your partner enjoys it, but be realistic about what needs to happen in the bedroom for great sex with your partner.
Don't Overconsume Processed Foods
Now, we know what you’re thinking. What does processed and sugary foods have to do with my sex life? Everything!
Our diet affects our mood, physical health, energy levels, and even our thinking patterns.
More importantly, a poor diet can contribute to erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. If you currently suffer from ED or PE, consider whether your health and diet could be the root cause.
Luckily, if that’s the case, it’s an easy fix. You don’t need special surgery or expensive treatment. You need a gym membership and a healthier diet for better sex.
Couple Exercises for Better Sex
If you need inspiration or a way to incorporate the tips above into a practical fun evening, try the Seven Nights of Sin couple’s exercise. Warning! You might be superhuman if you both make it to the end of the week.
Night 1: The Suited Gentleman
Dress to the nines, allowing her to wear that beautiful dress buried in the back of her closet.
You, too, must wear your best clothing and bring your partner out for a night on the town. Go to the bar, an expensive restaurant, and finish the evening in a fancy hotel room.
Night 2: Nature
If you live near nature, you’re already halfway to fiking with your partner. Fiking, as in fucking + hiking, involves going out in nature and having sex under the moonlight while camping, near a waterfall, in a beautiful flower-covered valley, or anywhere else that is scenic and far away from the crowds of suburbia and the city.
Night 3: Five Senses
Here, you shall stimulate the five senses in an evening of pleasure.
- Hearing: Play her favorite music
- Smell: Light her favorite candles
- Sight: Give her something sexy or beautiful to look at
- Touch: Scratch, tease, bite, or whatever touch she enjoys
- Taste: Feed her something delicious like chocolate
Afterward, it’s only fair if she does the same to you.
Night 4: Sensual Massage
You don’t need to be a masterful physical therapist to give an amazing, sensual, and erotic massage. Although if you have the training, feel free to use your skills on your partner; if not, don’t be too harsh on yourself.
Grab high-quality coconut (cooling) or sesame oil (warming), and slide it up and down her body while she lies naked on something soft and comfortable.
Night 5: Fantasy
The goal of the fifth evening is to live out your wildest or darkest fantasy with your partner. Might we suggest inviting her to wear makeup and her sexiest lingerie, booking a hotel room, and asking her to wait patiently for you?
Night 6: Master Chef
Put on your chef’s hat and prepare to get busy in the kitchen — Cooking, we mean. What did you have in mind?
Prepare a fine meal of aphrodisiac food such as oysters and prawn salad with leafy greens, and finish with strawberries covered in chocolate.
Night 7: Surprise
The surprise is that the seventh day is a rest day. Spend the day cuddling and discussing your experience throughout the six days of sin.
Keep Her Coming Back
This is the final sex tip we can offer you to leave her better and wetter.
Sex is more than penis meets vagina. The aftercare matters equally or, in some cases, more than penetration.
After a pleasant evening of making love, give her words of affirmation. Ensure the woman you care about or love knows that you treasure her. Men uncomfortable speaking their feelings can do so non-verbally by hugging, cuddling, and giving soft kisses on her cheek and neck after sex.
When you utilize the techniques, tips, and tricks above, you will be well on your way to becoming the best lover she’s ever had. For more tips and techniques, check out our other guides here.
