Working in the porn industry was an interesting experience, to say the least. Knowing how to turn a girl on was always on my mind.
A topic that always comes up is – making the girls on camera horny, and just how to do this.
On one hand, you don’t really have to do foreplay, because, at the end of the day, they’re actresses. They’ll fake their mood all day, and if they’re not wet, we had literal gallons of lube on set ready to slap on.
On the other hand, scenes came out 100% better when there was the actual attraction. When the girls get genuinely turned on, their bodies express it using nonverbal cues, which make the movies that bit better.
You might’ve heard of the male pornstar James Deen. He’s a legend in the industry for how he connects with girls to make incredibly hot films.
I’ve seen him work, and the resulting scenes are truly top-notch…all because he really turns girls on.
So, how does he do it? Here’s what I’ve learned works on screen and off.
#1 – Wine & Dine Her
Believe it or not, you can turn her on even before you even get into the bedroom.
Women crave connection with their partners, and you’ll notice that if your relationship is on the rocks, your sex life will suffer as well.
For this, I recommend you actually date your woman. Take her to dinner. Go sit on the beach. Lie under the stars and hold hands.
This is “chick crack.” They absolutely love it.
Even though I didn’t date the girls in the pornos, I always tried to get to know them before the scene. It’s always awkward meeting someone and having to have sex with them, and I found that spending a few minutes to connect with them on a personal level improved the attraction immensely.
Do the same with your woman, then bring her home and…
#2 – Tease Her
Yep, that’s right. Tease her. As men, it’s our natural instinct to rip her clothes off and get straight to business, but if you want to become a legendary lover, you have to tease her.
The simplest way to think about teasing is to take two steps forward and one step back.
For example, when you take her panties off, play with her pussy, then leave it alone. Make out with her for a few minutes, then slide a finger in. Repeat this from the beginning of foreplay all the way to the actual sex.
Women love this. They love the buildup, they love the drama, and they love when you mix things up.
In fact, teasing is so important I wrote an entire article about it.
#3 – Walk It Like You Like You Talk It
One of the greatest lessons I learned from James Deen is to talk dirty to girls.
Guys are mostly quiet in bed, especially in porn, where we become sex robots…thrusting away like machines.
However, to be truly successful with women, you have to talk dirty to them.
This doesn’t mean you have to recite poetry to them, you can achieve a lot by just talking to them during sex.
If you don’t know what to say, click here for some dirty talk lines (that you can use tonight).
#4 – Get Your Hands Dirty
An underrated way to turn your girl on is to finger her.
I know that a lot of us resist fingering because we’d rather use our cocks, but the truth is that fingers can accomplish a lot more than our penises.
Some women can only orgasm from fingering.
Because of that, I’d say that fingering is the most important way to turn her on. You could mess up everything else, but as long as you finger her well, she’ll be soaking wet.
Now remember, “fingering” is not just inserting your finger into her vagina. True mastery is defined by using your fingers to touch every inch of her pussy, especially the clit.
I won’t drone on about it, but if you’d like to learn more, here’s my thesis on fingering.
#5 – Be The Man
This is a brief reminder that women love dominant men.
Dominance is a complicated subject, but for the sake of this post, I’ll show you how to dominate her to turn her on.
Take control of the situation, and show her who’s boss.
Do this by picking her up, and throwing her on the bed. Push her against the wall. Pull her hair to expose her neck, and kiss her from her lips all the way down to her breasts.
Don’t ask her what she wants, tell her what to do.
“Spread your legs.”
They love this stuff. Don’t ask for permission, just command her, but make sure you touch her…
#6 – Erogenous Zones
Erogenous Zones are areas of heightened sensitivity, packed with nerve endings that will create massive arousal.
These areas are located all over the body, and finding them will make her crave you more than ever before.
Here are some of my favorites:
Neck – kiss her here, and maybe leave a hickey if she’s into that.
Breasts – obviously these are sensitive but give them a few minutes of sucking and you’ll see results.
Ears – surprisingly, ears can turn a girl on. Start by playing with one using your hands, then try licking a biting one. She might be too ticklish, but you should try anyway.
Inside Of Her Thighs – this area is often overlooked because it’s so close to the vagina, but that doesn’t mean you can ignore it. Put your hand on it while making out, and kiss this area a few times before eating her pussy.
#7 – Find Her “O” Face
By far, the most surefire way to make sure she’s turned on…is to give her an orgasm.
Making girls orgasm is a complicated subject. Every woman is different, and there are even five different types of female orgasms, so you might be overwhelmed about how to give her an orgasm.
Maybe you’re frustrated and convinced that your woman can’t orgasm. You’ve tried every trick in the book, but nothing works.
If that sounds like you, then you definitely need Revolutionary Sex.
Revolutionary Sex is the bible of love-making, written by my friend Alex Allman. He’s been coaching men how to have healthy sex lives since 1993.
I have a ton of experience on film, but Alex is still the king when it comes to hot, passionate, and mind-blowing sex. It’s a must-read for all men, no matter if you’re a virgin, experienced, single, or married.