Everyone’s been there. You’re in bed with your partner, and she’s screaming suspiciously loud during sex, or something about her makes you wonder if she’s been faking her orgasms.
Or maybe you want to get better in bed and ensure no woman ever fakes it.
Either way, there are a few tell-tale signs of a woman faking it in the bedroom and a few ways to know when she’s not.
We will show you ten ways to know when your partner has a fake orgasm, ten ways to know when she’s cumming, and five ways to make sure she never fakes it again!
Table of Contents
What Is An Orgasm?
An orgasm is an intense release after sexual stimulation. Counter to popular belief; there is not one type of orgasm. A woman can orgasm from vaginal stimulation, clitoral, nipple, and anal. Some can even orgasm from having other erogenous zones stimulated.
For many women, the sensation causes involuntary tightening of vaginal walls and rhythmic movement. For others, an orgasm might feel like a tingling sensation in one part of the body or can be felt throughout the entire body.
Despite the differences in opinions on what an orgasm feels like, women everywhere unanimously agree that it feels incredible!
Why Do Women Fake Orgasms?
Although these toe-curling, happy, hormone-releasing, pleasure-inducing sensations are highly sought after during masturbation and sex, it doesn’t always happen.
There are numerous reasons why a woman can’t orgasm. To name a few,
When a woman doesn’t orgasm, she might fake it. The question of why women fake orgasms is so perplexing that even science demands an answer — and they found one!
According to the research, the primary reasons relate to themselves and their partner’s needs.
For one, women in the study faked orgasm when they wanted to end intercourse. Essentially politely saying, “Please stop trying. Go away now!” This could be from time constraints, boredom, or general dissatisfaction with the intercourse.
Other women reported faking orgasms to make their partners feel better or successful, or cater to their egos.
But according to the research, women don’t only fake it for their partners. They fake it for themselves!
Some women fake orgasms because it increases their arousal level, essentially saying that women enjoy their own sounds of pleasure, moans, and screams. Less positive reasons included low self-esteem and not believing they could orgasm.
Therefore, if you were worried your woman was faking it because of your inadequacies, you might have been wrong. Perhaps she’s doing it for herself or her own feelings of inadequacy.
Regardless of the reason, it’s clear that women do, in fact, fake an orgasm from time to time. Telling when she’s faking an orgasm is tricky, but we’ve thought of ten ways to know if a woman is faking it in the bedroom.
10 Ways to Know When a Woman Fakes an Orgasm
Let’s start by saying that an orgasm does not make or break good sex. Sex can still be pleasurable, fun, and exciting without an orgasm.
In fact, some women don’t want to orgasm at all or don’t want to cum at that particular time. Perhaps, she’s just enjoying the experience and going along for the ride.
Or perhaps the opposite is true — you’re shit in bed! She can’t orgasm because of you.
How can you fix the problem if she continues to fake it? We will teach you ten methods to know when she’s faking it and ten ways to know when she’s not to hopefully help you understand your partner better and eventually help her achieve a real orgasm.
When both men and women cum, there’s a physical reaction! Every woman has an orgasm differently. Some are incredibly vocal, screaming loud enough to wake the apartment complex. Others are quieter and let only a little noise out, such as a few barely audible moans. However, her body doesn’t lie. Her voice might lie (a point we will make later in the article), but her body does not.
When women orgasm, they tend to breathe heavier, increase their heart rate, shake, tighten their legs, and make interesting faces — something to alert you that whatever she is feeling is pleasurable. It’s causing an all-over body reaction.
If nothing happens to her body, and she only screams or moans loudly and then proclaims she orgasmed, she probably lied to you. Likewise, if she’s lying stiff as a board with you on top, and after sex, she says she orgasmed, it was probably a lie too.
Expect her body to change as she goes from excitement, plateau, orgasm, and finally, resolution.
The current theory is that women experience these four phases during sexual arousal. Excitement is the period when arousal builds. Think — kissing, whispering naughty things in her ear, caressing her, etc.
Plateau is the next phase. It’s when the excitement has peaked and levels off, such as when you’ve been going down on her for a while or sex is really good and you’re hitting her spots.
Finally, the orgasm comes. That’s when all that sexual energy you built up is released, sending feel-good hormones throughout her body.
After the orgasm, there’s a period called resolution when arousal levels drop, but not down to pre-excitement phase levels. It’s somewhere in between. If you keep the arousal going, you can build it back up to the plateau phase, then another orgasm. Men don’t have this handy trick, so they typically need a much longer break between orgasms.
As she journeys through each phase, there is a corresponding physical change. For some women, it’s a major change. She’s shaking like she needs an exorcism, and her makeup is down her neck and in her hair. For others, it’s a bit more subdued.
But if there’s no change, something is off. She didn’t go from plateau to orgasm; perhaps, you left her still in the excitement phase.
Women fake their climax because they want their partner to feel better about themselves or feel like they achieved their goal during sex. For many people, making someone orgasm reflects your skill in the bedroom. When they don’t orgasm, it’s hard not to take it personally, even if it’s because of factors out of your control.
If your woman orgasms right after you say, “Cum for me,” “I want to make you cum so badly,” or even “Are you almost there?” She might have faked it.
It puts a lot of pressure on someone when you ask if they are about to orgasm if they aren’t anywhere close to it. She might not have faked it to be cruel, but to spare you from spending the next twenty minutes rubbing her clit when she thinks you don’t have the time or don’t want to.
Cumming together can be a beautiful experience. If you can help your partner reach orgasm at the same time that you do, it can feel really special and cause more bonding and feelings of closeness or interconnectedness with each other.
But, making a woman orgasm is challenging on its own, and it’s even harder to make them orgasm at the same exact time that their partner does.
Typically, women need more time to orgasm than men. One study in 2018 collected data from women in various countries and found that it took 6-20 minutes to orgasm and 14 minutes on average. Compared to men, who took 5-7 minutes to orgasm, on average.
There’s a very narrow range of time for a man and a woman to orgasm simultaneously. If your partner always orgasms simultaneously with you, you are a fortunate man who is beating the odds. Or, more likely, she’s faked it a few times.
An orgasm does not look or sound the way it does in porn. Most adult men know this by the time they’ve had a few partners, but a select few have not realized this yet.
Like the poor souls who still believe in Santa as an adult, we are sorry to say that porn, too, is not real.
Most women will not scream, “Yes! Yes! Yes!” or “Give it to me, baby!” Hearing those words is hot! Hence, why those scenes are added to porn, but it’s not reality.
If your partner always, without fail, sounds like the loudest porn star who can be found on the internet, then she’s putting on a show.
It’s a shame that today, people still think that sex is purely penetration — It’s not!
Sex, or great sex, is oral, anal, foreplay, massages, and everything else you can think of.
More importantly, great sex will make her orgasm, not fake it. Most women cannot cum from penetration alone. Vaginal orgasms are real; some women can orgasm from G Spot, D Spot, or A Spot stimulation. Some lucky ladies can even orgasm from anal penetration. But those women are the exception, not the rule.
This study from 2018 found that 69% of the women they interviewed did not orgasm from only penetration. So, if you’ve only ever given your partner vaginal sex, she likely faked it a few times.
The average time for a woman’s orgasm is 14 minutes. That’s not to say that she cannot orgasm in less time; she could very well orgasm in just a few minutes. However, many women need a significant amount of time to get to the point where they can orgasm.
Your partner has probably faked it if you’ve licked her for a minute and then penetrated her for one to two minutes before cumming and rolling over to the other side of the bed.
That’s not to say that your skill was bad or that she did not enjoy it (maybe she didn’t. You’ll have to ask her.). It’s to say, you probably just did not give her enough time to reach orgasm.
This should be obvious, but if your partner constantly asks you to touch her differently or do something else in the bedroom, she’s either bored or dissatisfied.
Your partner is most likely asking you to change something so she can stop faking it and actually orgasm. In this case, the solution is obvious! She has already told you what she wants you to do differently, so do it. See if that changes anything for her in the bedroom, and note how she responds once you start doing what she asked.
We purposely put “she cums” in quotations because she most likely faked it if she wanted sex immediately after cumming. To be clear, women can have multiple orgasms. She does not have to have only one and then tap out for the rest of the night, but if she wants to continue having sex after orgasm without any break, it’s most likely because she did not cum yet.
After orgasm comes the resolution phase. The resolution phase is very short in women, and it’s why she can, in fact, have multiple orgasms. However, the resolution phases, although short, still exists.
Her body and responses will change while she moves from orgasm to resolution. If there’s no change and it seems like nothing happened, it’s because nothing happened.
If you have to ask your partner if she had an orgasm, she most likely did not. Sure, some women are quiet and relaxed when they orgasm, and it might be difficult to know if they have an orgasm fully. However, if she never tells you she orgasmed, says, “That was amazing,” or “That felt great,” or has done anything to imply that she orgasmed, it’s because she most likely did not.
You should not have to ask your partner if she has orgasmed constantly. She will make it known by her body language, words, or appearance changes that she has orgasmed.
10 Ways to Know When a Woman Has an Orgasm
When you have that overwhelming sense that she is faking it in bed, look out for these easy-to-spot signs to know if your partner is having an orgasm.
During an orgasm, the pelvic muscles contract, leading to spasms and contractions in the lower or entire body.
Some of these contractions might be strong enough to be felt by their partner during sex — bearing in mind that women can control their pelvic muscles, too, yet another way that women can fake an orgasm.
Look out for rhythmic contractions around 0.8 seconds apart that are not super strong (if it feels like she’s doing Kegel exercises, it might be fake) and last 20-35 seconds or less.
As your partner gets closer to orgasm, she might start breathing heavily, faster, as she tries to get more air into her lungs.
You might notice your partner breathing faster and faster during sex, even if she’s not the one doing most of the thrusting or grinding.
If your partner starts to change her breathing, it might be a sign that she’s getting closer to orgasm or is currently in orgasm.
The heart rate increases, sending blood around the body, particularly to the vagina. Blood pressure increases, pupils dilate, and her skin might look red or flushed.
It’s so common that there’s a name for it: sex flush.
A sex flush will appear as pink or red spots on the chest, stomach, or even face and can last for a few minutes or hours.
As she moves from excitement, plateau, and finally orgasm, you might notice she’s breathing faster or feel her heart beating out of her chest.
A faster heart rate is an easy sign that she’s turned on, and feeling her heartbeat slowly increase during intercourse is an excellent sign that she’s on her way to orgasm.
Not all women make a lot of noise during sex, but if your partner goes from quiet, low moans to very loud moans, it could be because she’s about to orgasm or just had an orgasm.
There are a few reasons why women make noises during sex, so caution is needed here. Some research suggests that women moan to speed up sex, make their partner orgasm, or fake an orgasm.
Needless to say, some moans are inauthentic.
Authentic moans will likely build up slowly as sex goes from mildly good to really good! If she sounds like an animal right off the bat, it’s probably fake. But if she starts really low and it builds to faster, louder, or more frequent noises, she could be coming.
A great way to know that your partner had an orgasm is that she’s more sensitive to touch than before or during sex. After an orgasm, the clitoris, breasts, and other erogenous zones can become highly sensitive.
If she pulls away from your touch, asks you to slow down, or asks you to stop for a moment, it could be a sign that your partner has orgasmed and needs a moment to catch her breath before going for her second or third orgasm.
The brain releases tons of feel-good hormones throughout the body when it climaxes. One of these hormones, oxytocin, can cause bonding and also give you a severe case of drowsiness.
Many men, too, experience drowsiness after sex. When your partner starts drifting off to sleep after sex or during cuddles, it’s a sign that she came and is now floating in a sea of dopamine and oxytocin.
Her heart rate and breathing increase as she gets ready to orgasm, and as a result of those two processes, her body temperature might feel hotter too.
Think about it. There’s a lot of activity going on inside her body. Her cells are working overtime and releasing heat as a byproduct. She might even start sweating too.
If your partner is relaxing in missionary and magically starts sweating like she was in a sauna, assuming your A.C. isn’t broken, she’s probably close to orgasm or had one recently.
For some women, an orgasm can be so intense that it’s challenging to focus on anything else. If during oral, vaginal, anal play, or other sexual activities, your partner asks you to wait a moment or pause; it might be because she’s having an orgasm.
It could also be because she’s not enjoying herself, so she’s asking you to stop. This is why using your knowledge of body language comes into play. If she looks like she was loving whatever you were doing but now wants you to wait or pause for a moment, it could be that she’s orgasming.
An orgasm causes a flood of happy hormones, such as dopamine and oxytocin, into the bloodstream. These hormones, for lack of a better description, make you feel fantastic!
If your partner seems happier, giddier, or smiles for no reason, it could be because you either told the best joke of all time during sex or gave her an orgasm.
Lastly, the most obvious way to know that she had an orgasm is that she tells you or implies that she had an orgasm. She might be breathing heavily and say, “Oh my, that was great!” or just lay down saying, “Wow!” repeatedly. Or, she might directly say that she came.
If your partner has the physical cues on this list and states that she had an orgasm, it’s probably because she did. So, congratulations! You gave your partner a highly pleasurable evening.
How to Make Sure She Never Fakes an Orgasm
There’s no surefire way to ensure your partner never fakes an orgasm. As discussed, some women fake it for themselves or because of themselves, and it has nothing to do with their partner.
If your partner is faking it because she’s not getting what she needs in the bedroom, you can reduce the likelihood of her faking it by following these five steps.
Ask your partner what she needs to orgasm. She might surprise you!
Women have a lot of different fantasies, turn-ons, and sweet spots. When you encourage her to talk about all those things, you don’t have to guess and, thus, can give her what she needs in bed.
The best time to discuss her needs is not when you’re about to have sex. Although it’s a good idea to ask faster, slower, more, or less while getting it on, it’s better to practice talking about your sex life when you’re not having sex.
In the bedroom, give her a demonstration. Touch her one way and then another, and ask which she prefers. She might not know how she wants to be touched if she never explored her sexuality. Experiment together, and try out different sensations without an orgasm being the immediate goal.
Sex is better when there’s a connection between partners. In fact, it’s been proven! Women are more likely to have an orgasm when in relationships vs. hookups. In a relationship, there’s a sense of connectedness, intimacy, and romance. Whereas hookups are primarily just about sex.
Make intimacy, not sex, the focus of the evening. Hold eye contact, kiss, hug, cuddle, talk about your desires, cook together, or give each other massages to increase intimacy with your partner.
Women are like slow cookers. They take a lot of time to build up to a certain point where they can orgasm, and foreplay is the key to getting them to that point.
Foreplay starts before you enter the bedroom and take off each other’s clothes.
You can send her a suggestive text before coming over. Randomly kiss, spank, hug, or whisper naughty things into her ear.
When you get to the bedroom, spend time caressing, touching, and massaging her body without jumping straight to sex.
The more foreplay you give her, the more aroused she will be by the time your next sex session starts.
A lot of women need clitoral stimulation to cum. If she can’t orgasm from penetrative sex (many women can’t), try learning to eat her out.
Spend ample time showing her love with your mouth, tongue, and lips to give her the direct clitoral stimulation she needs to orgasm.
Toys are great, and it’s a wonder every couple doesn’t have at least one on the bedroom nightstand.
Toys provide high-powered, constant, and consistent stimulation to particular body areas. A Hitachi wand stimulates her clitoris better than a tongue or finger ever could, and a G Spot wand applies consistent and adequate pressure to make her orgasm from vaginal stimulation.
There’s no shame in bringing a toy into the bedroom. Think of it as an extension of your arm, and get good at using it to please your partner.
Some sex positions are better than others for G Spot stimulation or clitoral stimulation.
Positions like Cowgirl, Reverse cowgirl, or Lap Dance allows her to grind and rub her clitoris against you, providing ample clitoral stimulation.
Positions like Doggy, Full Nelson, or Pretzel might hit her spots better than classic missionary ever could.
It’s important to experiment with many different sex positions, even if you find one you like, to see if there’s one that gives her more pleasure.
It might be difficult to talk about your sex life initially, but feedback is meant to help, not hurt you.
If your partner thinks you don’t spend enough time eating her out, kissing her, or playing with her nipples, be open to suggestions and do things a little differently next time in the bedroom.
It might get her closer to orgasm than whatever you’ve been doing.
There’s no way to prevent a woman from faking orgasms!
Sorry, but some women will fake it regardless of what you do. It could be to spare your feelings or for reasons related to her personally.
You can increase the likelihood of giving her not just one, but multiple orgasms by knowing the signs of a fake climax versus a real pleasure-inducing, toe-curling one.