15 Ways to Tease Your Girlfriend Physically

15 Ways to Tease Your Girlfriend Physically

Sexual teasing will get things moving toward the bedroom. You start playfully spanking her ass, and before you know it, your hands are around her waist, you’re kissing, and her clothes have magically disappeared. 

Teasing can go one of two ways. The wrong way will get her annoyed and far from sexually aroused. She’ll pull back and withdraw from you, but instead of changing your tactics, you go, “Oh, she’s just not interested.” Bullshit! Women love sex just as much as any guy; you aren’t piquing her interest and turning her on. Here are a few ways to tease a woman correctly to get her wet, ready, and craving sex!

Table of Contents

What Is Physically Teasing? 

Physical teasing in relationships means playfully touching or acting in a light and fun way, aiming to show affection and bring partners closer. Those small gestures make both people smile and feel connected, like a gentle nudge, a tickle, or a playful poke. This kind of teasing can make everyday moments a bit more special.

Build Anticipation First 

How can you get a woman wet and ready for the bedroom? You can tease her, but not only that, spend a lot of time building anticipation and sexual tension.

Before you touch your girlfriend physically, play with her mind. Send her playful and dirty messages throughout the day to get her thinking of all the hot things you will do to her when you meet up later.

Do not go in for more than a kiss at the front door when you arrive at her place. Hold back a little more and continue sweet-talking to her.

Remind her how beautiful she is, but do not just say, “Hey, you’re beautiful.” If she’s hot, she’s heard that a million times before. Instead, narrow in on something specific that’s rarely spoken about. For example, comment on how good she looks with the new haircut, shirt, or shade of lipstick. Choose words that will stick out in her mind.

Move closer to her, forget the pleasantries, and change the conversation to something sexual and talk dirty. Say something like, “Get your ass over here,” in a playful but stern voice. Let her tiptoe closer to you, smiling or playing with her hair, then reach out and pull her closer.

The set-up is arguably just as important as touching a woman. Women have a very vivid sexual imagination, so whatever she’s thinking about is just as likely to get her turned on as you touching her. Start by turning on her mind, then close the deal by turning on her body.

Poke Fun at Her

One of the easiest ways to sexually tease her is by making fun of her. Obviously, don’t hurt her feelings or make her feel insecure. Keep it light and playful while avoiding topics that will make her upset or angry. Topics that you should avoid are her weight, make-up, clothing/ personal style, or anything she put a lot of effort into.

You could try playfully teasing her by reminding her of a funny story or an insider joke between the two of you in which she ended up looking a little silly. For example, smile and say, “Remember that time when you ___? You looked so adorable.” She’ll respond by laughing or smiling at you.

A word of caution: do your absolute best not to sound serious or accidentally convey real hostility. If you haven’t mastered poking fun at someone without really poking fun at them, then it’s probably best you skip this section because the results could be disastrous. Something that would be clearly a joke between two guys might come off as overly harsh to a woman, epsiecally if she’s already sensitive or reacts poorly to anything that sounds like criticism.

If you say something and the look on her face turns sour, come over to her, lightly caress her shoulder or back and say, “I’m just messing with you. Sorry”, then move on.

Give Her a Fun Nickname

A fun way to tease her is by calling her a nickname that stems from some insider joke between you two. If you don’t have any insider jokes, call her a childhood nickname she’s forgotten about or something she would find cute or funny. Again, avoid a name that will make her feel insecure, such as one based on her hair, weight, or personal style.

Understand Her Fantasies and Desires

Whatever she’s into, you need to know about it. If she has a fantasy about being a cat-girl and meowing as she licks you, fantastic — you should know that’s her thing! 

Make Her Wait

When she’s at the peak of sexual arousal, and things are starting to move towards sex, hold back a little more to build anticipation. She’ll pull you closer, wrap her legs around you so you can’t get off of her, or moan, “Not yet. Just one more minute,” but then pull back. Better yet, turn up the heat early in the morning, but before things turn sexual, stop and tell her to wait until you come home from work.

How to Physically Tease Women

Whether a one-night stand or a long-term partner, learning their likes and dislikes will keep them sexually interested in you. The best thing you can do for yourself is to get comfortable with your sexuality and discuss sex with women, so you’ll be at ease asking her questions. Not only this but if you sound confident and self-assured, she will trust you more and want to open up. No woman wants a man who doesn’t know what he wants or sounds like a timid mouse when he talks about sex.

There’s no single best way to tease a woman physically. Teasing women is an art that is highly dependent on the woman in question. Some women will love a talker — a man who is a master at words. Others will prefer a more touchy man. The easiest method is to ask her, but if you don’t want to go that route and she’s sexually open, then explore, play, and go on a journey together to learn each other’s kinks.

Adjusting Her Clothing and Accessories

Playfully adjusting her clothes or jewelry can be a subtle form of physical teasing. This might involve straightening a necklace or gently fixing a stray strand of hair, creating an opportunity for a soft, intentional touch. These small gestures can send a ripple of anticipation and can be a light, flirtatious way to show affection. It’s the kind of action that, while minor, can have a significant impact, making your partner feel noticed and desired in a gentle, respectful manner.


The lips are super sensitive and highly erotic for most women, so don’t underestimate the power of a good kiss. Start kissing her lips and allow one hand to hold her head in place. Lightly place your hand at the back of her head, grabbing or pulling her hair, too (if she’s into that). You can also try placing one thumb under her chin to lift her head up and toward you, especially if there’s a height difference.

If she feels comfortable around you, place one hand on the back of her neck and lightly stroke the area with your thumb while you kiss her. You could also firmly grasp her neck if she’s comfortable with that while kissing her. For an added bonus, lightly bite her lips, neck, and shoulder.

Gentle Biting and Nibbling

Using your teeth for gentle biting and nibbling can make kissing or touching more exciting. Lightly biting on a lip during a kiss or giving a soft nibble on the neck can introduce a playful surprise into usual routines. These small actions bring a bit of unpredictability and fun, making moments together more interesting.

It’s crucial, though, to keep things comfortable and enjoyable for both. Everyone has different likes and limits, so it’s smart to start light and watch how your partner reacts. Talking about it can help too, making sure what you’re doing feels good for them. This way, you can keep the fun of gentle biting without making anyone feel uneasy.

Eye Contact and Expressions

Keeping eye contact for longer periods and using certain looks can say a lot between two people. It can make moments feel more intense and show you’re really into each other. A quick wink or a small smile can add a bit of fun and show you’re interested, making your time together more engaging.

Facial expressions and the way you move can also tell your partner how you’re feeling without needing to talk. Simple things like nodding, leaning in closer, or a playful smirk can show you’re enjoying yourselves. Paying attention to these non-verbal signs can help both of you understand each other better and feel more connected.

Whisper and Breath Play

Soft whispers and careful breaths can be a straightforward yet impactful way to add a layer of excitement and closeness. Whispering something in the ear or gently breathing on the neck can spark a sense of eager anticipation. This method is effective because it’s unexpected and involves a very close, personal space. It’s a way to express fondness or attraction without just using words, making the bond feel stronger and more intense.

The choice of words whispered can change the whole vibe. Simple words can become much more intimate when whispered directly and closely. This combination of physical proximity and spoken words can make the relationship feel deeper and those moments together more significant. It highlights that how you say something can be just as impactful as the words you choose.

Playful Wrestling

Light, agreed-upon wrestling can be an enjoyable way to bring some physical fun and energy into a relationship. It offers a playful challenge that can lead to shared laughter and closer contact, creating a type of excitement centered around enjoyment rather than competition. When both partners are happy and participating, this kind of lighthearted challenge can enhance your connection, bringing an unexpected twist to your time together.

However, setting clear boundaries and possibly establishing a safe word before engaging in playful wrestling is vital. This ensures that both partners feel comfortable and that the activity remains fun and respectful. Clear communication about what’s acceptable and what isn’t ensures that both individuals can relax and fully immerse themselves in the moment, making the experience enjoyable for everyone involved.

Pulling Her Hair

Never pull a woman’s hair by the ends. At best, it’s annoying, and at worst, it hurts. Instead, firmly grasp her hair from the roots. If she has a ponytail or pigtails, that’s even better! Grab from the top and lightly pull downward.

Loose hair can also work well. Instead of grabbing first, run your fingers through her hair until you find the roots. Make a fist to grab a large section of hair and pull it downward. Don’t pull just a single strand or a few hairs; that will most likely rip the hair out or cause her slight pain.

Temperature Play

Using different temperatures, like warm or cold, can be a fun way to surprise and tease your partner. You might try chilling a spoon in the fridge and then lightly running it over their skin or warming your hands before touching them. These temperature changes can make the skin more sensitive, making every touch more interesting and intense. It’s a simple way to add something new and unexpected to your routine.

To keep the temperature play safe and comfortable, going slow and checking in with your partner is important. Make sure any hot or cold items aren’t too extreme in temperature, and always test them on yourself first to avoid any discomfort. Stick to safe items like warm towels or cool clothes, and avoid anything that could cause harm, like very hot liquids or frozen objects.

Dance and Movement

Starting an impromptu slow dance can be a spontaneous way to connect. You don’t need music; just taking her hand and guiding her into a gentle sway can create a moment of closeness. This kind of unexpected dance can break the monotony of daily routines, bringing you both a sense of joy and intimacy. It’s about finding those brief moments to be close and enjoy each other’s company, making ordinary days feel special.

Incorporating playful movement during everyday tasks can also add a light-hearted touch to your interactions. For instance, guiding her through a doorway with a gentle touch on the back or leading her around an obstacle with a soft hand can make mundane activities more fun. These small gestures of guidance are not about taking control but about adding a playful, caring dimension to your day-to-day life together.

Surprise Elements

Introducing unexpected gentle touches at random moments can bring a sense of excitement to your relationship. A soft caress when she least expects it or a gentle squeeze of the hand can send a warm signal that you’re thinking of her. These surprises don’t need to be grand gestures; the spontaneity is what makes them special, turning ordinary moments into opportunities for connection.

Choking Her

A word of caution: be careful with her neck. You don’t want to accidentally break something or crush her windpipe. Furthermore, you never want to surprise a woman by choking her because you will scare her! A scared woman does not equal good sex. Sorry to be that simple, but some guys need to hear that.

Have a conversation with her beforehand. Discuss what she likes, how much pressure, and what safewords you will use. Safewords must be both verbal and non-verbal.

Case in point: if you’re choking her, how will she speak?

We recommend green, yellow, and red as straightforward safewords. If you aren’t a fan of those words, no problem. Choose a different safe word that will be easily understood and not confused with something else. For instance, yes and no are terrible safewords because, in some sexual circumstances (role-playing, submission, forced/ rape fantasy, etc.), no will mean yes.

Verbal Safewords

Non-Verbal Safewords

Once you talk about choking and your safe words, proceed with caution and be mindful of how much strength you’re using and what in her neck you’re pushing against — you don’t want her to black out.

An alternative to choking that we prefer is covering her mouth and nose with one hand. Choking is sexy for many women because of the lack of control and being at the mercy of their partner’s whims. Covering the nose and mouth will accomplish the same goal, but it’s much safer. Still, be mindful of your partner’s body language and watch for those non-verbal safe words.

Touch Her (The Elements)

There are four types of touches that we’ve identified at SQL: air, earth, water, and fire! Identify which type of touches she prefers based on her mood by just playing with her and paying attention to any changes in body language. What’s her reaction, positive or negative?

She might want to be taken more forcibly on some days, whereas on others, she’s more sensitive and craving a lighter touch. Use your discernment.

Air (Calm)

An airy touch is based on gentle caresses and soft movements. Allow your fingers to gently glide over her stomach, back, and inner thighs. Start on her backside and use a feather to run all along her erogenous zones as she lays on the bed. Next, take a thin and soft sheet and lay it across her backside. Slowly pull the sheet off her body.

Earth (Safe and Secure)

Earth touches are meant to ground the woman and make her feel safe and secure. Ask her to lay on her stomach. Sit on top of her as you use your hands to push her gently into the bed. Start on her shoulders and work your way downward. Each touch should be firm. Grab and press against each area of skin as you allow your hands to rest for a few seconds before moving on to the next part of her body.

Water (Free)

Water touches are meant to make her feel free and flowy. Grab some massage oil and move your hands all over her body. Freely explore every inch of her, focusing on whichever erogenous zone is currently sending goosebumps down her spine.

Fire (Aggression)

Fire touches are aggressive, rough, and firm. Ask her to lie on her stomach in bed. Sit on top of her and pinch, squeeze, scratch, and spank different areas of her body. The goal is to be aggressive, so playfully tease and push her around the bedroom.

Blindfold Her

Now is a great time to finally purchase that sex toy you always wanted to try out. There are toys like the vibrating feather tickler designed for teasing and pleasure. We understand that everyone is at different points in their sexual journey, so if you’re a sex toy novice still, make use of household items to tease your partner instead.

You can purchase an actual blindfold or use an old necktie, hair bandana, or even a well-tied tank top can function as blindfolds. Blindfolds are erotic because, once again, it’s about control. Many women want to feel safe in the bedroom and feel like their man can take care of them, so some women will opt for blindfolds to take away one of their senses to enhance others or be more at the mercy of their partner.

You can get playful in the bedroom by taking away a second sense. Remove her sight (blindfold) and hearing (give her headphones with music). Ask her to lay on the bed, tell her tonight you got her, and allow her to be surprised by every sensation or touch since she’ll be unable to see it coming.

Letting go requires a woman to have a great deal of trust in her partner, so you might not be able to get a one-night stand to release so much control. Most people, not just women, would not want to be at the total mercy of a stranger. If you meet a woman at a bar and she’s down for a blindfold, then great, but if she’s hesitant or not super excited about it, don’t push the topic. Try one of these other teasing methods instead.

Feed Her Chocolate

This is an excellent addition to blindfolding your partner but also works as a stand-alone, highly effective teasing method. Take her favorite chocolate or sweets and feed them to her. Don’t just drop it in her mouth, but build up the anticipation of the delicious dark chocolate hitting her tongue by tracing the chocolate around her lips, allowing it to melt ever so slightly before placing it on her tongue.

Use a Feather Duster

Use a feather duster to lightly trace her body, focusing your efforts on each erogenous zone. Trace the feather duster along her neck and shoulders, around her breast, down her stomach, and play with her thighs.

Roll A Wartenberg Wheel

Once used in the medical field to test the nervous system, you won’t find a Wartenberg wheel in every household. Easily purchased on Amazon or online sex shops, a Wartenberg wheel, made of stainless steel or plastic, is rolled across the skin to generate a reaction. Your partner will experience a tickling sensation as the wheel moves across her body.

 In conclusion, teasing your girlfriend physically can be a fun and exciting way to spice up your relationship. Whether it’s using different types of touches, blindfolding her, feeding her chocolate, using a feather duster, or trying out a Wartenberg wheel, there are plenty of ways to tease your partner.  

Expert Advice

I remember working with a client, whom we’ll call Adam to keep his identity private, who was going through a tough patch in his relationship. His partner felt that Adam’s attraction towards her had waned, which wasn’t true. However, Adam had fallen into a routine where physical intimacy was limited to the occasional sexual encounter, lacking the warmth and closeness they once shared. Clearly, a change was needed to bridge the growing emotional distance between them.

I suggested that Adam reintroduce foreplay into their relationship, not just as a lead-up to sex, but as a way to reconnect and express his affection. We discussed various techniques like gentle touches, playful teasing, and the importance of non-sexual physical intimacy to build anticipation and excitement. I emphasized the power of small, affectionate gestures outside the bedroom—holding hands, light kisses, and meaningful eye contact—to remind his partner of his attraction and care for her.

Frequently Asked Questions 

As a sex and relationship coach, I am often asked about how to spice up physical intimacy in a relationship. Here are some frequently asked questions about teasing your girlfriend physically. 

How can teasing physically boost our sex life?

Physical teasing can add excitement and novelty to your sex life. By introducing playful touches and anticipatory gestures, you create a sense of eagerness and connection that can make intimate moments together more vibrant and enjoyable.

What playful tactics can I use based on what she’s wearing?

Noticing and playfully commenting on what she’s wearing can be a light-hearted way to initiate physical teasing. You might also gently adjust a strap or lightly touch the fabric, which can draw her attention and start a flirtatious interaction.

How does breathing warm air add to physical teasing?

When you breathe warm air gently across your partner’s neck or ear, it can create a tingling sensation that’s both surprising and delightful. This subtle act can be an effective way to begin teasing, making her more aware of your presence and touch.

What are some effective ways to tease your girlfriend physically?

Starting with a slow, gentle approach allows you to explore what she enjoys. You might begin with soft touches in unexpected places, gradually building intensity and variety. This slow start ensures that the teasing remains comfortable and enjoyable for her.

How can I use my partner’s neck in teasing?

The neck is full of sensitive nerve endings, making it an ideal spot for light kisses, soft nips, or the gentle brush of fingers. Paying attention to this area can be a direct way to provoke a delighted response and deepen your connection.

What does wild action mean in the context of teasing?

Wild action in teasing refers to spontaneous, playful gestures that break from routine. This could be anything from a surprise embrace to a playful tickle, adding an element of fun and spontaneity to your interactions.

How can teasing be turned into a little game?

Creating a little game out of teasing, like seeing who can elicit the most giggles or shivers, can make physical interaction more engaging and fun. This playful competition can add laughter and joy to your relationship.

What are subtle ways to draw attention while teasing?

Subtle gestures like a lingering look, a mysterious smile, or “accidentally” brushing against her can effectively draw her attention. These small actions start the teasing process by making her curious and engaged.

Why is a slow start important in physical teasing?

A slow start is crucial because it gives you both time to tune into each other’s responses and preferences. Gradually escalating the teasing ensures that it enhances your connection without overwhelming her.

Why focus on areas with lots of nerve endings when teasing?

Focusing on areas rich in nerve endings can make physical teasing more thrilling. These areas respond more intensely to touch, making her reactions stronger and the teasing more effective.

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