Most guys who want to satisfy their women make one of two mistakes — jumping in too soon, so she feels rushed or pressured, or taking too much time, so she loses interest. There’s no shame in admitting that you don’t know what the hell you’re doing, which is why there are countless articles, books, and videos on the subject, but they often just confuse you more.
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You need practical, yet mind blowing techniques to implement inside and outside the bedroom to satisfy a woman and, more importantly, keep her craving you and coming back for more. Every woman is different, or as we say at SQL — every woman is different, and every pussy is different — that doesn’t mean that there aren’t commonalities between ladies that you can use to your advantage to make her happy in the bedroom.
Why She Isn't Satisfied in the Bedroom
Before discussing techniques to satisfy her in bed, you need to identify the problem. Not every reason for a dissatisfied partner is your fault. There might be something going on within herself that is not allowing her to be fulfilled in the bedroom.
More importantly, if she isn’t satisfied it probably has little to do with the size of your dick. An all too common mistake is putting too much emphasis on your size (something you can’t change), instead of your skills (100% changeable and improvable).
With a few small modifications you can take a woman from dissatisfied to not only satisfied, but begging for more. Here are a few of the most common reasons for a dissatisfied partner.
Most women are deeply connected to their psychological and emotional sides, more so than most guys. You can completely turn a woman on and get her dripping wet without even taking off any clothing if you know how to unlock her mind. On the other hand, that also means you can completely turn her off and make her drier than the Sahara if you don’t know what the hell you’re doing.
She is likely not satisfied in the bedroom because you focus too much on physical actions: touching, kissing, fucking! Instead of really taking the time to get her thinking about sex and mentally prepared for intercourse.
Another likely scenario is that you don’t listen. Simple as it may be, she may be unsatisfied because you have been tuning out her sexual desires and needs. Has she recently asked you to go on a romantic getaway, and you turned her down? Has she asked you to use sex toys and you refused because you wanted “normal sex”?
Whatever the request, if you shot her down more than once, she probably feels unheard and sexually frustrated because her needs have yet to be met. Imagine if you really wanted a blowjob, but she refused every time — frustrating, right? How dare she not do this one simple favor for you! Well, she probably feels the same way about you and all the requests you deny, especially if she goes out of her way to meet your needs.
Very few woman want to feel like they must have sex with someone or that they have to put up with things that are outside of their comfort zone. That doesn’t mean you have to ignore your needs.
Healthy relationships are based on both partners being heard and understood, so if she feels she’s being pressured into sex or particular actions (anal, kinks, bondage) without her full consent or willingness, then she’s not going to be happy. Keep this up for too long and she’ll become withdrawn and disinterested in intercourse all together
You might not ask for her feedback because you assume you know what she wants and likes because of an ex-partner. Maybe your ex-girlfriend was a master in the bedroom who taught you all types of crazy positions and 82 ways to finger a woman until she has an orgasm.
You break up and take what you’ve learned to the new girlfriend, ready to blow her mind! To your dismay, the response is dismal, nowhere close to the way your ex-girlfriend moaned in absolute ecstasy. Instead of changing your techniques, you brush it off as you are just being rusty; you keep doing the same thing in bed. We can not say it enough — every woman is different. What made your ex-partner orgasm might not work for your new partner.
Okay, maybe you’ve not outright denied her requests, but that’s only because you’ve never heard them. You don’t speak about sex often enough, making her sexually unsatisfied!
No one really teaches us how to speak about sex. Sex help books are too clinical or dull, and porn is unrealistic, so when were you supposed to learn how to speak about your sex life effectively? It’s a challenging situation to get out of, so if you’re interested in improving your sex life and sexual communication skills, check out The Best She’s Ever Had: Practical Advice and Powerful Techniques So You’re the One She Brags About, a best-selling book written to assist men who suffer from fixable sex and relationship problems.
You should communicate with your partner at least twice weekly about your sex lives. If you don’t, the sexual passion in the bedroom will eventually be stifled. Your needs might not be met, and hers won’t either.
You might treat sex like a military operation — men in as quickly as possible with as few distractions as possible. When the mission is complete, men out! Sex is not supposed to be serious, instead it’s fun, playful, and explorative. If you’re rushing in like it’s some sort of battlefield, you’re going to end up with a few casualties — your girlfriend’s sexual pleasure and sexual appetite.
She might be dissatisfied because you are so hyper-focused on the “Dick In, Dick Out” mission that you’ve forgotten how to be fun, spontaneous, and playful. You don’t do foreplay or exciting and fun things in the bedroom anymore, which is causing her to be left wanting something else.
Do you know what you want in the bedroom? If the answer is no, you’re not prepared to satisfy a woman either. You need to understand your own sexuality if you want to understand hers.
Have you ever reacted defensively to a suggestion in the bedroom? Maybe your girlfriend wanted to give you a rim job or play with your ass, but you refused and called it “gay.” A prostate massage and anal can be highly pleasurable, so if you’ve denied it purely because it wasn’t something you’ve perceived as heterosexual, you’re being too judgmental in the bedroom. You’ve likely turned down a lot of other fun activities that you’re partner has wanted to try for similar reasons which is causing her to feel dismissed and unsatisfied.
How to Satisfy a Woman Every Time
Every woman is different, so if yours has a particular sweet spot that you know of, use it! If unsure, try doing something nice for her but also nice for you because you get to see her naked. Before moving things to the bedroom, take the time to run a bubble bath, and have it ready and hot before she comes home. As soon as she gets out, help her dry off and get ready by giving her a massage with oils and lotions.
Do not immediately jump into penetration. Allow the anticipation, desire, and sexual tension to build until she’s nearly dragging you inside her.
Great sex starts in the mind for women. If you can make her mind interested in sex, you can make her body interested. A woman can become aroused by thinking of sex and picturing what you will do to her next. Building anticipation and patience go hand in hand, so just make her wait. Don’t jump to penetration or rip each other’s clothes off just yet.
You can build anticipation by mastering foreplay. What is foreplay? Foreplay is anything and everything. Whatever turns you and your woman on is foreplay. Ideally, start sooner rather than later. Foreplay can begin long before you step foot into the bedroom. After you leave for work in the morning, send her a suggestive text message letting her know how you can’t wait to see her and how she should be waiting for you in her sexiest bra and panties.
When you see her, touch her and use plenty of dirty talk, or as we call it, Sexual Expression at SQL, to tell her what a sexy little minx (or slut, if she’s comfortable with that word) she is and how tonight you’re going to do whatever you want with her body.
The goal is to get her aroused and wet before her clothes come off. Whatever her particular turn-on is, use that to your advantage to make her crave your touch.
If there’s an area that you’re lacking in the bedroom, one surefire way to satisfy your woman is by improving your skills.
Learn how to eat pussy: Stop doing the ABCs when you go down on her. Instead, focus your efforts on doing movements that she likes. Watch her body language. Does she seem like she's enjoying it? If unsure, ask her. Ask her if she wants faster/slower/harder/softer.
Try anal: Anal is not for everyone, but it is gratifying for both men and women. If it's your first time trying anal, start slow and use a lot of water-based lube to avoid trouble. Don't just insert your finger inside and thrust it in and out; instead, rub in a circular motion and allow her to pull you deep inside her.
Keep things easy by asking her to wear something sexy. Constantly tell her how beautiful she looks and how much you’re dying to touch her. Constant reinforcement is critical! Make her feel not only sexy but special.
Encourage each other to explore different fantasies and sex positions by designing your perfect night together. Write down your ideal night and ask her to do the same. How will the evening begin? What positions does she like? Does she want oral or anal? What does she need to be absolutely satisfied in every way? Once you know, give her heart’s desires. Don’t neglect your sexual pleasure, so ensure you are detailed and vivid as you describe what you want from her.
While we’re discussing fantasies, why not roleplay for the evening? It’s not everyone’s thing, but if you feel like something is missing in the bedroom, then pretend to be a sexy student/teacher, bad girl/cop, vampire/helpless maiden, or whatever fantasy you or she might have. Keep an open mind and be willing to share or hear anything inside the bedroom.
If you’re unsure where to start with role-playing, try a dominance and submission night. Take charge of the bedroom, boss her around, tell her to take off her clothes or touch herself. Make things a little rougher by picking her up and throwing her over your shoulder or onto the bed.
Add sex toys into the mix if you’re keen. Sex toys are one of the simplest ways to increase pleasure and make her dripping wet! Your sex toy must-haves are:
Hitachi Wand: Great for clitoral stimulation
Vibrating Egg: Vibrating Eggs come in multiple sizes and shapes to stimulate the clit and other parts of the vagina. With a vibrating egg or Hitachi Wand, hold it to her clit while penetrating her for additional stimulation during sex.
Vibrating Butt Plug: You can increase the vibrating plug and feel the vibrations while fucking her. If she enjoys anal, she'll love this toy.
Women need to feel unique and beautiful, so if you have not taken your partner out on a date recently, it could be why she’s dissatisfied in bedroom. However, don’t just take her out for dinner and a movie. Up the ante by allowing her to live a fantasy.
Organize a trip and plan everything. She shouldn’t have to think of a single thing, so she will unwind and enjoy herself. Her only thought should be to pack her suitcase and bring her best lingerie. If she doesn’t have any, make it a point to shop before your trip.
We call this maneuver the Suited Gentleman. Dress in your best clothing or suit, take her to a fancy restaurant and reserve a luxury hotel room for the night. Encourage her to wear her sexiest bra and underwear under her dress for the evening and tell her that tonight you got her and will take care of everything.
Very few women would not love to be wined and dined, but if your partner prefers the simple life, take her out into nature for fiking (fucking + hiking). Pick a scenic national park or hiking trail and go as far into nature as possible, put down a blanket or towel, and go wild in the wild! Find a waterfall or lake to go skinny dipping beforehand if possible.
If she’s happy, you’ll be happy. There’s an old saying, “Happy wife. Happy life,” for a reason. If you met her sexual needs, there would be very few things that she won’t be open to, at least trying to keep you happy in the bedroom.
If you’re looking for deeper insights into pleasing a woman and becoming THE BEST sexual partner she’s ever had, consider enrolling in the Best She’s Ever Had course, where you’ll learn practical advice for improving your sex life from how to actually eat a woman out, initiating anal, and becoming a leader inside and outside of the bedroom. Access our free online resources and Facebook group, hear from other guys on our online forum, and read the Best She’s Ever Had, a best-selling book on Amazon, or invest further into your sex life by joining one of our exclusive 5-Day retreats and online academies.