How to Fuck Harder and Better Than Any Pornstar in Five Easy Steps

How to Fuck Harder and Better Than Any Pornstar in Five Easy Steps

The key to fucking hard is ditching everything you think you know from porn. You cannot just grab a woman and immediately penetrate her—at least, not if you want her to speak to you again.

It’s not just about the penetration; it’s everything that comes before (the foreplay) and afterward (the aftercare and feedback). Fucking hard means different things to different people, as the speed, intensity, and rhythm will vary substantially from partner to partner. For example, some women crave Doggy Style with their face pushed into a pillow, and others only want a little hair pulling.

This article will guide you through five simple steps to help you become an expert in bed and give your partner the most amazing time of her life. So prepare for a wild ride as I teach you how to fuck hard.

Table of Contents

The key to fucking hard is ditching everything you think you know from porn. You cannot just grab a woman and immediately penetrate her—at least, not if you want her to speak to you again.

It’s not just about the penetration; it’s everything that comes before (the foreplay) and afterward (the aftercare and feedback). Fucking hard means different things to different people, as the speed, intensity, and rhythm will vary substantially from partner to partner. For example, some women crave Doggy Style with their face pushed into a pillow, and others only want a little hair pulling.

This article will guide you through five simple steps to help you become an expert in bed and give your partner the most amazing time of her life. So prepare for a wild ride as I teach you how to fuck hard.

Why Do Women Love Fucking Hard? 

Women crave rough sex as much as men do. It’s a fallacy that most women only enjoy cuddles and light kisses.

One of the reasons why rough sex is so fucking hot is it reinforces dominance as a man. A dominant man equals safety, or at least it did to our caveman ancestors.

You aren’t fighting foreign invaders trying to pillage your village anymore, but the principle still applies, dominance equals safety. Let’s be clear. Dominance and domineering are not the same. In short, a domineering guy is a complete asshole. He’s a bully in the bedroom and leads with force, not consent. A dominant guy leads with consent, and there’s no force involved when you lead with consent.

Dominance = Leadership = Service = Love

Most women love being tossed onto the bed and taken because it’s incredibly primal and animalistic.

Moreover, the feeling of relinquishing control and allowing someone you completely trust to have full access and control over your body can be undeniably sexy.

How to Have Rough Sex

Fucking hard and rough sex go hand in hand, and you can’t have one without the other. Fucking hard is a physical action, but rough sex is the entire experience. It’s raw, animalistic, and passionate, but don’t rush in with guns ablaze.

If you want to have satisfying rough sex, you need to establish some short and simple rules of engagement.

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1. Communicate ​

Communication is sexy, although it does not sound that way. Women emphasize the emotional, mental, and physical connection between themselves and you. When you make love to her, you’re meeting her physical needs, but you haven’t even touched the emotional and mental ones yet.

You might get her to orgasm once if you’re lucky. However, that’s not going to make her crave you more. When you unlock all three parts (physical, mental, and emotional), you give her permission to open up about her sexual desires. You might find she has the wildest fantasies and kinks no guy has ever asked her about.

When your partner feels safe, she can open up. You might be the first man who has ever asked her what she likes and encouraged her to embrace her sexuality. She might be too timid to speak openly. It’s your job to be patient. Keep an open mind and maintain a safe and non-judgmental environment. If you’re the first man to do that for her, I can guarantee she’ll crave sex with you.

I feel it needs to be said — Great sex is never about the size of your penis! Some ladies claim nothing less than six inches will do, but that is false. Otherwise, how would billions of men with less than six inches have devoted partners? Don’t waste your time focusing on the size of your penis. Focus on the factors you can change—your attitude towards sex, knowledge of sexuality, and skills.

Better communication = better connection = better sex over time.

Rough sex is a paradox. From the outside, the woman appears powerless; in reality, she is in absolute control of the situation. When that’s the case, she will be ten times more willing to engage in intercourse. To do this, establish whether she enjoys hard sex. She might be willing but apprehensive. Maybe she’s completely down for it and already knows what she likes. You’ll need to know where she is on the topic. These simple questions can help you find her baseline.

Think about these questions.

Safe words are not optional in rough lovemaking or BDSM. Choose a word that can not be misunderstood, and you will remember. Discuss the safe words before sex every time, as she or you might have forgotten if it has been a while since things got that hot and heavy inside the bedroom.

We recommend the following safe words because they are easy to remember.

2. Build a Connection and Increase Anticipation​

Sex for a woman is more mental than physical; this is even more true when you want to fuck hard. Women need to build up to rough sex. What does that look like—anticipation!

3. Find the Right Timing​​

Sex for women is nearly entirely psychological. Without trust and a feeling of safety, she won’t want to let go completely. Work on building trust and a connection with your partner first.

As we mentioned, she’s not always going to enjoy a hard fuck. She’ll go from begging you to pin her against a wall to wanting to be held and cuddled in a soft fuzzy blanket. Why? It’s partly because of her menstrual cycle.

A woman’s menstrual cycle is more than just her period; instead, it’s a whole 30-day experience of rapidly rising and falling hormones. Around day 14 or 15 of her 30-day cycle, she’ll go into ovulation. Ovulation is the only period in which a woman can get pregnant.

Before you immediately scroll down to the bottom of the page, thinking, I don’t want a kid. This section isn’t for me—stop! There’s some vital information here.

Ovulation means peak fertility and peak estrogen levels [1]. What does that mean for you? She’s incredibly horny!

You will find that she’s more interested in the rough stuff during ovulation. A few days after peak fertility, estrogen levels will plummet. She’ll be more sensitive and probably wants to be cuddled by a big teddy bear.

4. Find the Right Technique ​

The key to a pleasure-filled experience is consent. Know what your partner likes. If both of you have never tried fucking hard before, always start slow and work your way up because you might not know how far she’s willing to go.

Start with the hair-pulling test. With one hand, gently pull her hair. On the next pull, use a little more strength. Ask her, “Do you like that? Want me to go harder?” We can not stress enough that every woman is different, so always gauge her reaction and understand her body language. When in doubt, stop and ask. Repeat the hair-pulling test until she calls her safe word by slowly increasing the intensity. This is a great way to practice your safe words and also see how hard you can go.

Tip: When pulling her hair please make sure you are pulling from the roots and not from the tips.

Incorporate some biting and scratching. Adjust the intensity of both according to her reaction. Start with little bites along the neck with light pressure, and proceed downwards. With your head buried between her thighs, lightly run your fingers down her legs. While eating her out, take a break from the main meal to devour her thighs with small bites. Then, give her a little spank before and during penetration.

Restraints work wonders for rough sex, so tie her up. You can purchase handcuffs, ropes, and ties from anywhere. Alternatively, you can find a necktie and use it as a soft restraint to tie her hands to the bedpost, behind her back, or any location in the house.

You can also try choking. Choking is a kink for many girls, but you have to get the amount of pressure right. You never want to use too much force when choking a woman. A great beginner’s option to spice up your sex life instead of going straight for choking is placing your hand over her mouth instead.

Make sure she can use her safe words while being choked. If she is unable to talk, use non-verbal communication. Great non-verbal safe words include the shoulder tap and hand wave. She can tap your shoulder or wave her hands to signal you to stop or slow down.

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5. Find the Right Position ​

Some positions are better than others and allow for deeper penetration. The key to rough sex is pinning her down, grabbing her legs, and taking complete control of her body with her consent. These are beginner-friendly sex positions that will drive her wild!

Missionary: Yes, you read correctly. Missionary is a great position to fuck hard since you have full access to her whole body, and you can easily pin her down into the bed. Here is how: Ask your partner to raise and hold her legs by placing both hands under her thighs. Have her tilt her lower body towards you. Put a pillow under her to assist with getting the right angle. If you have a smaller penis, this position will help with deeper penetration. Then place your hands on her shoulders and push her down into the bed. Alternatively, you can choke her in this position or place your hand over her mouth. This position is amazing to fuck hard since you have full motion for your hips to move while you can look into her eyes and check in with her easily.

Bent Over: Bend her over the kitchen or sofa as you take her from behind. Bonus points if you spank, pull her hair, or tie her up.

Legs Over the Shoulders: This position is also excellent for readers with an average or less-than-average penis size. Ask her to lay on her back while you take both her legs and place them on your shoulders. Alternatively, you can place both legs on one shoulder. Tilt her body upwards and forward. This position allows for deep penetration which for some women might be a little too much depending on where their cervix is located. You can adapt the depth and angle of the penetration by adjusting her legs further up or down.

Doggy: Classic Doggy Style is fantastic, but go one step further. Push her deep into the bed as you fuck her hard and tie her hands behind her back. A lot of guys find this their favorite position when it comes to fucking her harder. Be aware even tho she isn’t facing you she will sense whether or not you are present with her in the moment. Be a gentleman and make sure it is a fun experience for both of you. Pro Tip: Only thrust in and out 3 quarters instead of pulling your cock out completely every single time. This allows you to fuck harder without risking injuries or air to enter her pussy. Win-win for both of you.

Stand and Carry: For Stand and Carry as shown in the image, you are lifting her up from the ground grabbing under her butt while making sure she feels safe. This lift is meant to demonstrate your strength and capability to protect her. You can start by sitting on a chair, and after fucking her for several minutes, stand up and lift her. Continue making love to her and pin her against the wall. While pinning her down, kiss, bite, and scratch her.

Kneeling Soldier: Ask her to place both hands against the wall while lying on her back. Get on your knees and kneel between her legs. Grab her lower body and angle it upwards against you. Move it up and down, allowing her entire vagina to slide against your dick. This movement stimulates multiple parts of the vagina, which will help her orgasm.

The following positions are advanced because they demand skills to avoid finishing too soon. These exceptionally hot positions require preplanning at the local sex shop or online store.

Missionary with a Spreader Bar: You can purchase a spreader bar from any adult shop. It’s a device that locks her legs in place, keeping them wide open. Get into missionary, strap her legs into the spreader bar while it is not yet spread. Then open the spreader bar, pull her legs above her head, and lock into position. You can hold her legs in place while grabbing the middle of the bar when inserting your cock.

Sex Swings: Sex swings are bestsellers in most online adult shops. The straps allow you to lift your partner off the ground while keeping her legs fully spread. With her legs up in the air, fully access her body to deliver maximum pleasure as you massage or eat her out before penetration.

Fuck Machines: Found in most adult stores, they are essentially high-powered dildos that penetrate at varying speeds. Allow your partner time to pleasure and warm herself up before intercourse. Alternatively, let the fuck machine be the main course of the night.

Rough Sex Ideas

I’ve cultivated a list to get things moving in the right direction but always discuss with your partner what fantasies you have and how you can make them a reality.

Beginner Friendly

Here’s a date night idea guaranteed to lead to a pleasure-filled evening. Many women are interested in public sex because the thrill of being caught is highly arousing.

Take her out on a date and demand she wear her sexiest underwear. Before leaving the house, insert a vibrating egg, Ben Wa Ball, or Yoni Egg, to help tease her and stimulate her vagina while in public. Keep things interesting by controlling the remote and turning the egg on when you are walking down the street or just before the waiter at the restaurant asks for her order. Excuse yourselves to the bathroom and ravish her in the public restroom.

Not a fan of public sex? Keep it in the house, but make it ten times better by hosting a wrestling date. Buy pillows and cushions, and then go wild on the floor. Introduce a friendly competition. If she wins, she gets something. If you win, you get something. Transition your wrestle date into fucking to fuck her on the floor.

Next, pick her up off the floor and carry her into the bedroom. Toss her on the bed and lovingly spank her ass before pushing her into Doggy or Missionary position.

Advanced

You can try something a little rougher. Why not role-play a break-in or robbery? As we discussed, always talk beforehand with your partner.

Choose a time. Some partners might be okay with a surprise, but it might be risky. You don’t want to leave your partner with the front door unlocked all day. Plus, the anticipation of knowing that you will knock down her door sometime between 8:00 and 10:00, for example, will make her wet.

Ensure you both know the safe words. Talk about what you want to happen. Does she want you to wear a mask or restrain her? Does she want you to call her names like slut or whore? How real does she want the fantasy to feel? These are all great questions that you should ask your partner.

Expert Advice

Let me start by saying that I think all women enjoy being ravished from time to time by the man that they love or care for. The experience spices up the relationship and makes her feel incredibly hot and wanted by her partner. Not only that, but I find making love to my partner without holding back liberating. In the end, everyone walks away satisfied.

I advise trying it, but don’t jump straight into the deep end. What does that mean? If you’re not sure how rough is too rough, introduce a bit of hair-pulling or spanking during sex, and then afterward, ask how that felt and if she wants to try more. If you find yourself overcome with desire and pushing her onto the bed, be mindful of her body language. Does she seem into it or a bit apprehensive?

The only way to go wrong here is to misread the situation by not talking to your partner or going too far by not paying attention to her because, in the heat of the moment, it’s a lot harder to stop.

Fucking hard shouldn’t be intimidating or overwhelming. It is supposed to be a fun and exciting way to spice up your sex life and explore new fantasies with your partner.

Always communicate, set boundaries, and use safe words if needed. With the right attitude and preparation, you both will have an amazing love-making session!

Frequently Asked Questions

Over the years, I’ve gotten numerous questions from most guys at SQL retreats and during coaching calls, so here are some of the most commonly asked questions.

Do I have to have rough sex for a good sex life?

No! Although I think you should try it, you definitely do not need it for a fun and fulfilling sexual encounter. Like anything else, some people are going to love it and others not so much, so if the subject doesn’t interest you or your partner, maybe skip it and find something else that does.

Why do women like rough sex?

Rough sex can be a huge turn on for many women, just like it is for guys. It’s a fallacy that most women only enjoy cuddles and light kisses. One of the reasons why rough sex is so fucking hot is it reinforces dominance as a man. A dominant man equals safety, or at least it did to our caveman ancestors.

You aren’t fighting foreign invaders trying to pillage your village anymore, but the principle still applies: dominance equals safety. Let’s be clear. Dominance and domineering are not the same. In short, a domineering guy is a complete asshole. He’s a bully in the bedroom and leads with force, not consent. A dominant guy leads with consent, and there’s no force involved when you lead with consent.

Next point: Women love being tossed onto the bed and taken because it’s incredibly primal and animalistic. Moreover, the feeling of relinquishing control and allowing someone you completely trust to have full access and control over your body can be undeniably sexy.

What can I say to make sex rougher?

Talking dirty can enhance the mood and make things feel a bit more, even if you’re not doing anything physically that’s out of the normal. For example, you can talk dirty by calling your partner names such as “sexy little…,” “dirty little…,” or “cum slut.” Of course, make sure being called these names won’t offend, and go from there.

What sex toys can I use?

There are plenty of toys on the market that work wonders for rough play. For example, you can use a simple vibrator or wand, hold her down against the bed, and turn it into a night of rough sex. Or you can buy toys that are typically used in BDSM, such as floggers, ball gags, nipple clamps, and canes to really enhance the experience. If she’s new to sex toys, start small and easy. A wand is perfect and will add just enough excitement without going overboard. If she’s tried things before, go one step further and experiment with blindfolds, floggers, or ropes.

How can enhancing sexual tension improve my sex life?

Boosting sexual tension can act as a prelude to more intense and satisfying encounters, setting the stage for a dynamic and passionate connection.

In what ways does sexual desire affect fulfilling sex?

Sexual desire lays the groundwork for a fulfilling sexual experience, serving as the emotional and physical catalyst that drives deeper connections and more satisfying encounters.

How can I address erectile dysfunction to enhance sexual performance?

Tackling erectile dysfunction involves understanding its underlying causes, which could be medical or psychological, and seeking appropriate treatment to improve overall sexual performance.

How does sex education contribute to a more satisfying sexual encounter?

Comprehensive sex education provides the knowledge and skills necessary to navigate sexual encounters with confidence, ensuring both partners have a more enjoyable and fulfilling experience.

What are effective ways to build sexual stamina for more intense penetrative sex?

Building sexual stamina for penetrative sex can involve physical exercises that enhance endurance, as well as techniques focused on controlling arousal to extend the duration and intensity of the encounter.

How can learning about different sexual techniques from sex education improve our sex life?

Exploring different sexual techniques through sex education can introduce variety and new forms of pleasure, enriching your sex life and deepening the connection between partners.

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