We aren’t just going to give you a list of freaky things to memorize and be on your way. No! You know the saying, “Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for one day. Teach him how to fish, and he’ll eat for a lifetime,” or something like that.
Table of Contents
We’re about to show you how to dirty talk, so you aren’t stuck memorizing lines like this is some low-rent porno for the rest of your goddamn life! We know you don’t watch porn for the realistic dialogue and heart-crushing stories, but you can admit porn dialogue sounds idiotic. Because they memorized lines off a sheet of paper. See?
Don’t memorize lines. Express your desires, fantasies, and dirtiest, vilest, sexiest thoughts with full participation from your girlfriend.
She’s a wild thing; you haven’t figured it out yet. Dirty talking is some of the easiest foreplay you can do inside and outside the bedroom. Whatever turns her on is fair game.
Dirty talk is a misnomer; there’s nothing dirty about it. At SQL, we refer to dirty talk as sexual expression. Why? Because dirty talk is just expressing your sexuality, wants, and desires.
Dirty talking works wonders on women because it can literally be anything. It’s her about to have the Big O, but you tell her to wait. It’s you telling her the most repulsive, disgusting things you can think of while turning her on. On the flip side, it’s the sweetest and most caring thing you can think of.
Despite being so simple, many guys are at a total loss of words on how to effectively talk dirty. Do I call her a dirty girl? No, that sounds stupid. What about a cum dumpster? She’ll hate me forever. Wrong! She won’t think it sounds stupid, and she definitely won’t hate you.
Dirty talk is one of the best tools you can pull out of the toolbox to make women go crazy, spend their entire day thinking about you, and fantasizing about all the X-rated activities you could be getting up to later.
Do not underestimate the power of good old dirty talking! Women are creatures of the mind, more than the body. She loves hearing how amazing, beautiful, and talented she is in the bedroom. Confirm she’s a pro in the sheets, and all those deepthroating tutorials have paid off. Make her feel good and confident in the bedroom, and she’ll want to have sex more often with you to continue getting that positive feedback.
More importantly, the dirty talk will get her wetter than a picture of your dick ever could. Let her dirty thoughts run wild, thinking of all the filthy things you will do to her and how much she will love it. Make her horny thinking of you. You really don’t have to do much to make a woman wet. Just play with her mind, and you’ll be able to turn an inexperienced church girl into a wild pleasure-addicted nympho inside the bedroom.
Well, not outright lying, but concealing the whole truth — definitely! Just as you might find it awkward or embarrassing to talk about sex and dirty talk her, she might have those same feelings. On top of that, you must consider that many women fear being called whores, promiscuous, too experienced, etc.!
Likely, she won’t reveal the depths of her fantasies and what she’s willing to do at first. Don’t be offended. It most likely has nothing to do with you but rather a general protective mechanism. She’ll reveal herself little by little as long as you stay cool and supportive. The moment you shut her down is the moment you lose her temporarily or even forever. So, don’t do that!
Sit back and listen. Enjoy the wild ride into her imagination. Do not push her in one particular direction. Just ask open-ended questions and always show approval and interest in whatever she’s saying. She might say the wackiest shit, and you think, “this girl is a nutjob,” but if you shut her down, say goodbye to your chances at better sex.
Not only that, but you’ll ruin it for the next guy she meets. Because you shut her down, she might not take the risk of talking about her desires again with a different guy (one who might actually want to try the freaky stuff she’s into). Don’t unintentionally cock-block another guy further down in her All The Boys I’ve Loved (Fucked) little black book.
Dirty talk 100% works on women. If you aren’t getting the results you want, it’s probably for one of the reasons listed below.
How To Dirty Talk — You Might Be Doing It Wrong
Hey, dirty talk does not come easy to everyone. Depending on where and how you were raised, maybe sexuality was a taboo topic. You did not learn how to talk about sex as a teenager, so now doing it as an adult is challenging.
You might have never heard a man successfully use dirty talk to make a woman wet, or maybe you’ve only seen it done in porn and think it does not apply to real life.
Maybe you are okay with your sexuality but just feel awkward or unconvinced at how powerful dirty talking is. Whatever the reason, you don’t have to be a failure at dirty talking forever.
Dirty talking is quite simple — Laughably simple. Move slowly and work your way up to more intense phrases. Sound confident and self-assured in everything you say by picking words and phrases in your comfort zone before branching outwards. Understand what your partner likes. Oh, and don’t forget to sound like a man when you speak.
Dirty talking does not work if you can’t sell the shit out of it. It might be a simple one-liner, “You look so fucking sexy on the bed like that,” or a complex role-playing fantasy, “My princess, the kingdom is under attack. I will keep you safe in exchange for your maidenhood”; you better believe it, sell it, and make it convincing.
If you have never said “dirty things” to a woman before, the experience can feel weird. You might be nervous about how she reacts or feel awkward at first. No one teaches you how to sound sexy in the bedroom, so it’s easy for some but supremely difficult for others.
You have to be confident in whatever you say. If you sound unsure or unconvinced, you will inadvertently sound unsexy and unappealing.
“Let me see your naked body” — maybe? I think. If you want to. Please. Pretty please. I’m begging you!
Dirty talking should never make statements or commands sound like a question, and you should never sound meek or uncomfortable with your words. If you do, it’ll completely ruin the vibe.
A lot of guys have anxieties when it comes to dirty-talking with women. What if I say the wrong thing? What if she’s offended? These are valid fears. Men worldwide have all, at one point, said, “There went my chance with her. I fucked it up,” so your worries are natural.
But dirty talking isn’t going to work out for you if you don’t sort that shit out somehow. No woman wants a man who sounds fearful of his own words, stutters, and trips over them. One thing you can do is practice. Say what you want to say out loud, alone, in front of a mirror. Make your voice deep (not “Luke, I am your father” deep), but drop your pitch a little. Speak loudly and proudly. Speak slowly.
All the best public speakers do it! When have you ever heard a male politician speak so fast that you can’t understand him, uptalk (raise the pitch of his voice), and speak in a soft, barely audible voice? Never. You can sell anything by sounding confident enough.
Women have some pretty crazy fantasies, if you did not know. Read My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday to hear about the multitude of ways some women want to be kidnapped, forced, and taken (with their consent) by their partners. Ladies have wild fantasies that most guys will never hear about because their partner does not feel comfortable talking about it with them — conversation for a different article.
However, under no circumstances can your fantasies be wilder, more insane, or more borderline criminal than hers (At least, not at first. Later, it’s a different story). In short, do not scare your partner.
For example, she tells you she wants to try a little bondage. You’re interested, so you get down and dirty in the bedroom. While tied up, you tell her how badly you want to kidnap her and hold her hostage in your sex dungeon so that no one can find her. You think she’ll be cool with it. After all, she likes bondage. Why not a sex dungeon fantasy?
If you have yet to discuss this fantasy with her, she might not see it as pure fantasy and just dirty words. Many women are constantly on guard and told to watch out for crazy stalkers and kidnappers from the time they are old enough to watch the evening News. She might not think of your statement as a fantasy, particularly if you have only known each other for a short period or she was already a little nervous about the bondage. You risk scaring your partner and completely destroying the sexual tension.
Always discuss your fantasies and establish what’s okay and what isn’t. Don’t assume you know what she likes or wants to hear without discussing it. Also, avoid drawing conclusions from previous statements she made. Bondage = okay, so sex dungeon/ rape fantasy = okay. NOPE. Being okay with one thing does not mean she’ll be okay with another.
In other words, you sound creepy. No one woman wants to be creeped out by someone she wants to be intimate with. Things will turn from sexy to creepy quickly if you go too far when you talk dirty or the situation is just inappropriate.
Imagine. You’re in the line of a grocery store, surrounded by other shoppers. She’s double-checking the shopping cart for everything she needs to cook that evening. Her mind is focused on that; maybe she’s looking into her purse for coupons or the right credit card. You think this is a great moment to practice dirty talk and introduce a little excitement to a tiresome shopping trip, so you lean over and whisper, “I can’t wait to see your tight little body,” randomly out of the blue. Now, that might work, but the chances are low. The situation is inappropriate because she’s hyper-focused, and who the hell says that? “Tight little body” in the middle of the store. Yea, you’re not going to go far with that one.
Dirty talking does not work if you don’t actually know what she likes. Every woman is different. Her version of dirty talking might be, “You sweet little princess. Get your ass over on this bed” or “Take your shirt off now,” whereas another woman might prefer something a little more aggressive. Something like, “Cum like the fucking slut you are, right now!” As you can see, there’s a lot of grey areas and many ways to fuck up by saying something harsh or too extreme.
Many guys make the mistake of jumping into the deep end of talking dirty instead of swimming down from the shallow end. Talking dirty is a lot more than using just using words your mother would be ashamed of if she found out you were using them.
To talk dirty, you really need to express your sexual desires. Your sexual desires might not be all that extreme, so don’t make the mistake of thinking you have to say a bunch of filthy words.
One great example is her name. Her own name is not a dirty word, but many women go crazy hearing men moan their name during sex. Talking dirty for you might consist of saying “(WOMAN’S NAME), you’re so beautiful. I want you so badly!” Dirty talking can be as simple as that.
If you sound unsure, it won’t be sexy. You’ll sound unsure if you try to say something unnatural or if it doesn’t feel right. Imagine she’s deepthroating you. She has already expressed to you that she likes to be called a “cum slut”, but the words feel strange to you. You say them because you know she likes it, but instead of sounding hot, it sounds like someone reading lines from a book… in a foreign language.
It’s awkward. You stammer and tip over your words. You don’t sound masculine and hot; you sound unsure, questioning, and uncomfortable. If you can’t hold eye contact when you say something, probably best you skip it for now.
“You’re a cum slut” — Who knows? I think. I’m not sure.
It’s far better to say what feels natural to you. If you aren’t comfortable calling her a cum slut yet, don’t. Work up to that. Maybe you’ll feel differently after a few more deepthroating sessions.
Dirty words like “dirty princess,” “sexy ass,” ” cum slut,” and “whore” has already been proven to work and work well! If you already know your partner’s ticks and what makes her wetter than a tsunami, there is no need to keep thinking of more creative to say. If it works, it works. Therefore, stop thinking or overthinking it.
No need to reinvent the wheel
There are thousands of one-liners that you can memorize and quote word for word for the rest of your life, and yes, it will work. As long as you say it confidently and it suits the situation and woman, why reinvent the wheel by spending hours trying to think of your own witty, sexy, and arousing statements when countless men have already done the work for you to attract the hottest girl in the room?
But, reinvent the wheel if you need to
Learning dirty one-liners will get you places, most of the time. There are hundreds of statements that will work for hundreds of women — way more than you’ll ever need because, face it, no one thinks you’ll bag 100 ladies in your lifetime.
You’re going to go far, kid. But where’s the fun in memorization? Instead, it is much better to be freer, more confident in what you’re saying because you thought of it/ believe it/ want it, and flexible for any given situation.
Reinvent the wheel when you want to. Say whatever feels right at the moment, even if it’s never been said before, is way more PG than what the other guys are saying or way more dirty and despicable than anything you’ll read on the internet. If it works, it works.
“Get on your knees, you dirty fucking whore, and suck this dick as if your life depended on it. Bitch!” Would you say that to someone you just met at the bar? Maybe, but not if you want her to call you back or avoid having every drop of pussy juice dry up instantaneously. You probably won’t say something like that to your wife of ten years unless you’ve made it to that stage.
Some women love to be degraded in the bedroom. Words like “whore”, “dirty whore”, “fucking bitch”, and every swear word under the sun will get her wetter than a swimming pool. Whereas others will find terminology like that, well… degrading and undignifying.
Other women want to be degraded and might actually enjoy being called names but just haven’t made it there yet. Every person is at a different stage of their sexual journey, so you probably don’t want to call a 21-year-old hottie you picked up at the bar last night a “fucking whore” because A. She’s 21, so maybe inexperienced; B. She’s experienced but doesn’t like that type of language in or out of the bedroom (you won’t know that because you just met her); C. You just met her. Why are you dialing the intensity to 100% already?
You never want to say too much or go further than what she’s comfortable with. The key to dirty talk is starting at a lower level and slowly increasing the intensity over time until you find the sweet spot between what turns you on and what turns her on. Met her at her level because if you don’t, she’ll become drier than the Sahara Dessert.
Better yet, start at a level that’s slightly less than she wants. Keeping her in a place where she wants a little more than what you give will keep her hooked. Give her what she needs, but don’t give her everything she wants, at least not at first. Don’t go straight in for the kill. Hold something back.
Note that this might take some time. Depending on where she is in her sexuality, it might be days, weeks, or months before she gives you more insights into her deepest fantasies.
We’re sure you’re a nice guy who respects and loves women, so why would you want to ever call a woman a slut, whore, dirty cum dumpster, etc.? Well, it’s not real.
She knows she’s not really a slut, and you know it too. It’s merely a fantasy. Think of dirty talk as a type of role-playing. In the bed, she might want to be called X, Y, and Z, but on the streets, you better never say those words to her outside of a sexual context. There’s a saying that sums this up perfectly — lady in the street, freak in the sheets! Your agreement to indulge her fantasy does not reflect who you are. In other words, you’re still a good guy if you call her a slut. — Assuming she agrees to it.
Have a conversation with your partner. Talk about what she likes and dislikes. Don’t ignore your own needs either. Listen attentively to her, but also make sure she listens to you. If you have a fantasy about being in outer space and capturing freaky alien woman to fuck in your spaceship, that fantasy is a bit out there (literally!), but you have every right to talk about it with your partner. The thing is, you need to be comfortable with your sexuality for dirty talk to work.
Lastly, you’ve seriously been doing dirty talk wrong if you have not reinforced the message repeatedly. Women need constant validation and positive reinforcement; if you give her positive reinforcement, she’ll want to continue doing what you like. She should feel like the only woman in the world when she’s with you.
For example, your incredibly hot girlfriend randomly pushes you down into a chair, rips off your pants, and begins sucking you off. You sit there in amazement but utter silence. Do you think she’s likely to do that again if you don’t convey the message that A. she looks so fucking sexy doing that; B., please do that some more and do that shit often; and C. she is making you so happy? The answer is no.
Now, rewind. She pushes you down into the chair and starts randomly sucking you off on some random Tuesday during lunch. Instead of letting out a few moans or sitting in utter silence, you yell, “Fuck! That feels so fucking good. You’re amazing,” as you moan, grunt, or breath loudly.
But don’t stop there. When you’re about to cum, shout, “Fucking hell! I love you so much right now” or “I can’t believe you’re so fucking good at this.” Make it clear that you approve of her efforts. Don’t assume that she knows you liked it just because you came. Send her a physical and verbal message of approval.
She’ll want to keep doing something if she thinks she’s good at it. So it’s in your best interest to let her know she’s a goddess, princess, bad girl, or whatever she needs to hear.
Freaky Things To Say Over Text Message
No dick pics. A dick pic will not get you anywhere if you go straight in with that, out of the blue, with no lead-up. At most, you can send her a photo of yourself without a shirt at the gym or on the beach with a message asking about her day.
She’ll be so horny thinking about you all day. Yes, but there’s a more important reason you should be sending her hot text messages — it gives her time to think of a response. Plus, you’ll have time to think about what you want to say! It’s a low-pressure environment where she’s not put on the spot to think of an immediate answer the way she would be if you said those things to her in person. Not everyone is a natural-born smooth talker, so having a low-pressure environment where neither of you feels forced to respond immediately might be what you need to get started.
Go into detail and be very descriptive. Women love that shit, and it shows effort, which they love. Make it some sort of hot game to send sexy texts back and forward to each other.
What do you like? Write down all the filthy things you want to say. Look at her photo if you need some inspiration. You want sexy texts that are personal and exploit her particular fantasies, turn-ons, and sexual desires.
If you don’t know the woman very well, start off slow. The goal is to have ten times the amount of pleasure tonight while being sexy. Always start with a low-risk sext and then work up to more seductive text messages.
Here are a few suggestions.
Freaky Things to Say In Person
Dirty talk doesn’t end when you hit send on the text messages. There are still plenty of sexy things to be said in person, which brings us to one crucial thing — some things are just better in person! The vibe, energy, or playfulness you want might not come off via sext the same way it does in person, especially regarding degradation.
Here are a few things to get you started, but re-invent the wheel if you must to get better results. Know your partner and know what she likes.
In person, you can list what you want to say and what you don’t want to hear. In-person guidelines can be clearly made, so you don’t have to worry about calling her something she 100% is NOT okay with. Ask her, “Is there anything I can’t call you?” and “Is there anything, in particular, you want to be called?” You might be surprised by both answers.
If she says she doesn’t know because maybe she’s inexperienced in relationships or has never had an ex-partner dirty talk her before, start slow with low-risk phrases and words that focus on how gorgeous she is, how much you like her body, and how she uses it. Save the more intense ideas for a later date.
But don’t suppress shit and bottle it up. As men, we’re taught to keep shit hidden. You can let things slip from time to time, but by no means can you make a show of it. With dirty talk, suppression is not the goal. LET THAT SHIT OUT! Be tactful. Explain what you want to say and why. If your partner understands your motives, she’ll likely agree to it.
If your dirty mind is screaming “daddy’s whore” or “cum slut” in all capital letters, talk about it before calling her that. Put it on the list of things you want to call her and impress upon her that what happens on the bed is not a reflection of how you think or feel about her. She’s your dirty little whore in the bedroom, but your queen in the streets. A lot of ladies would be down for that.
If you really want to lose control and have more pleasure tonight in the bedroom with your words, give her a nickname. When you use the nickname, she’ll know it’s playtime and not to take anything you say seriously. For example, her name is Rebecca, but when you call her Rosie, it’s game time. Role-playing mode activated! Call her whatever lude things come to your mind.
When it comes to dirty talking, there’s no copy/paste one-liner that you can use for 100% of your partners. Focus on what you like, what turns you on, and what turns your partner on. ESPECIALLY, what turns her on. It’s that simple.
If you are seriously considering learning how to give your partner the best sexual experience of her life, but aren’t sure where to get started, access our free online resources, hear from other guys on our online forum, and read the Best She’s Ever Had, a best-selling book on Amazon, or invest further into your sex life by joining one of our exclusive 5-Day retreats and online academies.