Pleasuring your partner by stimulating her clitoris has the potential to give her hours of pleasure and intense orgasmic experiences.
This guide will discuss her anatomy and provide tips on stimulating her clitoris for maximum pleasure! We’ll also discuss some common mistakes made when exploring clit play, as well as important information every beginner needs to know before getting started.
Table of Contents
What Is the Clitoris?
The clitoris is a powerful pleasure organ composed of two parts: the glans (or head) and the body. The glans are usually visible, but other parts are hidden beneath them.
- The clitoral hood: This is the skin that covers the glans of the clitoris. It protects sensitive tissues and helps keep them lubricated.
- The body includes two shafts, called crura, made up of spongy tissue that surrounds the urethra and extends down to the perineum.
Where Is the Clitoris?
Alright, so where is this magical button? Well, the clitoris is located at the top of the vulva, right above the opening of the vagina.
The other parts are:
- The labia majora and minora (outer and inner "lips").
- The urethra.
- The perineum (the space between the vagina and the anus).
How to Stimulate the Clitoris
Ever heard the saying, “the only stupid question is the one not asked”? Well, it applies here too. Before exploring clit play with your partner, ask her what she likes and doesn’t like. Everybody is different, so the best way to ensure you are having a good time is to have an open dialogue about sexual pleasure and preferences.
Don’t dive straight in.
Remember that no one likes to be rushed. Take it slow and build up the intensity gradually. Start with light touches and work your way up. As your partner becomes more aroused, use more pressure and faster motions.
When you stimulate the clit, go for both indirect and direct stimulation to get the best results.
- Direct clitoral stimulation: This type of stimulation involves using your fingers, tongue, or a toy to stimulate the glans of the clitoris directly.
- Indirect clitoral stimulation: This type of stimulation is done by stimulating the area around the clitoris, such as the inner and outer labia. You can even stimulate the clitoris from the inside, as the clit extends much further back into the body than you might have thought.
Fingers
Use your fingers in various movements to stimulate your partner and make her moan with pleasure.
- Rubbing: Using your fingertips, rub the glans in a circular motion. As the pleasure builds, increase the pressure and speed of your strokes. You can also experiment with different rhythms and directions to see what gets your partner going.
- Tapping: This is similar to rubbing, but instead of using circles, you'll tap lightly on the clitoris with one or two fingers.
- Gliding: Using your hand, press firmly against the clitoris and vulva. Slowly move back and forth.
Now that you’ve got the basics down, get a little more creative. Try using different motions and varying the speed and pressure of your touch.
Watch her reactions. When you hit the right spot, you’ll know it if you watch her facial expression and listen for rapid, breathy noises. Once you’re there, linger a bit on that spot. Try not to stop until she’s ready for something else.
Don’t forget about the rest of the vulva; the labia and the perineum are also great spots to focus on.
Tongue
Most women enjoy a bit of oral sex. With the right technique, you can make her body tremble with pleasure. Not sure how to perform the art of cunnilingus and make a woman cum? Click here. We discuss, in-depth, how to make a woman cum, not once but multiple times.
Sex Toys
Sex toys are always an option. There are many types of vibrators available on the market that can be used for clitoral stimulation. Traditional vibrators, wands, and bullet vibrators are just some options.
Our top choice is the G Spot wand and Hitachi wand combo. This technique, lovingly titled the Hail Mary, uses two sex toys to stimulate her G Spot and clit simultaneously.
Learn more about our number one favorite sex toy for pleasuring the clit below.
Common Mistakes
Here are some common mistakes that beginners people make and how you can avoid them.
Not Using Enough Lube
Lube is essential for clitoral play because it helps reduce friction and makes everything feel way more pleasurable. Make sure to use a water-based or silicone-based lube that won’t irritate the sensitive tissues of the clitoris.
Using Too Much Pressure
The clitoris is a very sensitive organ, so be gentle when stimulating it. Too much pressure can cause discomfort or pain, so use a light touch and listen to your partner’s feedback.
Not Taking Enough Time
Clitoral stimulation shouldn’t be rushed. Spend 10 minutes exploring different techniques before moving on to direct stimulation. This will help build up arousal and make the experience more enjoyable for both of you.
Not Communicating
Communication is key in all forms of sexual pleasure and stimulation, so talk about what feels good and what doesn’t. This can be done through verbal communication or nonverbal cues, like moans or body language.
Other Techniques for Pleasure
Pleasuring your lady with clit play is all good and well, but did you know women can orgasm from other methods as well? Some ladies love rough sex and can have multiple mind-bending orgasms from it. Whereas others crave a bit of anal play or even nipple play.
Sensual Massage
Sensual massage is one of the best foreplay techniques to build sexual tension and get her dripping wet before penetration.
There’s no wrong way to do a sensual massage, as it’s more about intimate, slow movements. Expect to explore those hot pleasure zones and other areas of her body.
Grab a high-quality massage oil, or raid the kitchen for almond or coconut oil. Warm it up between your hands and lightly caress your partner’s shoulders. Move down her back and buttock. Wrap around to her thighs and inner thighs, and then lightly move your hand over her entire vulva. Don’t focus on the clit! Keep the movements varied and slow while also paying attention to her reactions.
Slide your hand back up and make circles or trace up her stomach. When you reach the breast, slow down. Caress and explore her nipples with your fingertips.
Squirting
Squirting is when a woman releases a gushing stream of fluid (known as female ejaculate) during orgasm. This phenomenon has been highly discussed and debated in the sex education world, and scientific research, but there’s no denying it’s real! And it feels freakin’ amazing.
Squirting can be achieved with some practice and patience. It involves stimulating the G -spot, located about a knuckle and a half inside the vagina.
Anal Sex
Anal sex takes your pleasure game to the next level. If you and your partner are down for a little backdoor action, there’s no better way to heighten the intensity of her orgasms. In fact, some women prefer anal over other forms of stimulation because it can (and should) be incredibly pleasurable.
Before getting started, ensure you have all the essentials: lube, condoms, and lots of communication. Check out these YouTube videos to learn the ins and outs of anal pleasure, or read this article.
Final Thoughts
There’s no single technique for mind-blowing clit play. Everyone woman is different, so she might need something a little different from your previous partner.
The good news is… you get to spend more time between her thighs, exploring every inch of her, until you figure her out.
Is there a way to learn about sex without watching porn videos? Yes — For more sexual techniques and ways to become the best lover she’s ever had, click here. Our YouTube channel has plenty of useful videos and techniques, so check it out!
