Do you struggle to satisfy your partner in bed?
I’ve talked to hundreds of men with the same issue. Most of them have ejaculate too soon for their partners.
When I ask them how they tried to beat this, SO MANY guys say they try “the stop and go method.”
*rolls eyes*
If you’re doing the stop and go method…I want you to STOP….doing it forever.
What is the stop and go method?
This technique is when you reach the moment you’re about to orgasm, you stop thrusting and pull out. You wait for arousal to die down, continue having sex, and repeat.
You stop. And then, you go. Easy enough right?
It is easy…and that’s why so many men want to use it.
The problem is, it doesn’t work. Next time you see your wife or girlfriend ask them how much they like it. They hate it!
Here’s why.
It absolutely kills the mood
Imagine you’re watching an action movie, like James Bond. James is running from the bad guys, guns blazing, he just jumped on a motorcycle to speed away when….you pause the movie, so someone can go to the bathroom or get popcorn or something.
What a cliffhanger.
You don’t want the action to stop, you want it to keep going.
Your partner feels the same way when you do the stop and go method.
She’ll be getting closer and closer to orgasm…just for you to stop. It’s like getting blue balled. Totally annoying.
It doesn’t actually make you have better sex
To train yourself to last longer in bed, you need more practice having actual sex (surprise surprise).
The stop and go method might seem like you’re getting better at sex, but in reality, you’re just getting better at watching your arousal (and pulling out).
If you want to truly last longer in bed, and become a better lover, you have to be able to have sex for long periods of time WITHOUT the stop and go method.
It doesn’t fix your problems, it just covers them up like a band aid.
The stop and go method doesn’t make you better in bed. All it does is mask your issues by making it seem like you’re having sex for longer.
If you pull out and do the stop and go, you still won’t be having sex for the time your woman desires (about 20 minutes).
The sex session might last 20 minutes on a clock, sure, but you won’t be spending 20 minutes inside of her. 10 minutes of that will be sex, but the other 10 will be cool-off time so you don’t orgasm. Boring!
If you’re having trouble lasting in bed, there’s something with YOU that needs improvement. Either your mind, your cock, or your body needs to be in better shape to have better sex.
Luckily, there are ways to improve. You don’t have to deal with short sex sessions forever.
Here are the techniques I used when I was working in the porn industry. In fact, I still use them today.
They’re so easy everyone could (and should) use them.
Visualize Your Success
You have to visualize yourself being a passionate lover.
Many men have a few bad sex experiences, and suddenly think they’re terrible in bed. “It’s just who I am.”
The sex isn’t bad, but we convince ourselves that we’re bad in bed. Thoughts do not reflect reality.
We think that it’s completely impossible to change who we are, so we don’t make any effort to improve. This is absolutely wrong.
Sometimes, the biggest challenge isn’t your dick, it’s your mind.
To fix this, I take 10-15 minutes and visualize what I want.
I imagine myself in bed with my girl, passionately making love to her, having deep long strokes, for thirty hot and heavy minutes.
This does not work if you do this once. You have to do this over and over and over again until your brain is thoroughly convinced that you’re an amazing lover.
After your brain is ready to be a sex god, it’s time to get your dick on the same level.
Edging
Edging is when you jack off and get close to orgasm, then back off and stop…then repeat again.
Sounds like the stop and go method, right?
It’s close, the difference is the stop and go is used during sex, while edging is done while masturbating.
You get all the benefits of the stop and go, multiplied times ten because you don’t need your woman to practice.
Edging gets your brain and your cock in touch with your arousal levels. To do this, you have to understand that arousal has levels. I like to think about an “arousal ladder” that goes from 1 to 10.
Level 1 is completely not aroused
Level 10 is the Point of No Return/Orgasm/Ejaculation
Effective edging happens when you keep yourself around levels 6 or 7. You’re aroused, hard as a rock, but still in control of your mind (and therefore your orgasm).
Train yourself to edge for 20-30 minutes, and you’ll be able to have sex that long…no problem.
Use The Great Miracle Of Kegels
Now, I’ve talked about many benefits of Kegels before, so I’ll be quick here.
Kegels are exercises for the muscles around your cock.
These muscles are useful for controlling your orgasm because the kegel muscle is responsible for constricting and opening the flow of semen in your cock. If you can get this muscle strong enough to push back orgasm, you’ll be able to last for long periods in bed.
If you don’t know how to flex your kegel muscle, the best way to start is to go pee in a urinal then stop the flow of pee. Feel the muscle that contracted in your crotch? That’s the PC muscle, which will also stop the flow of semen.
Practice doing this at the urinal, then start doing it in your free time while you’re sitting. You can start with this routine:
3 days a week
5 sets
10 reps per set
After that, you can move onto advanced routines, which are covered in my book.
These three techniques – Visualization, Edging, and Kegels – are 3 of my 5 Pillars of Sexual Health. If you’d like to learn more, I cover these in explicit detail in my guide on Lasting Longer in Bed.
