How to Give an Unforgettable Erotic Massage: Tips and Techniques [2023]

How to Give an Unforgettable Erotic Massage: Tips and Techniques [2023]

Erotic or sensual massage has become increasingly popular due to its ability to provide intense pleasure, heightened arousal, and deep relaxation.

An erotic massage is a great way to create passion and intimacy in a relationship and can be enjoyed by both men and women.

This guide is dedicated to creating the perfect setting for giving, sharing, and receiving fantastic pleasure through an aromatic sensory experience paired with amazing techniques. 

This complete guide will take you on an unforgettable journey to explore a new world full of unlimited possibilities through an incredible sensual massage!

Table of Contents

What Is an Erotic or Sensual Massage?

A sensual or erotic massage is a technique of massaging erogenous zones to bring about heightened pleasure.

An erotic massage is distinct from a therapeutic massage because an erotic massage aims to please and bring pleasure rather than healing and recovery. It stimulates the senses and increases arousal through touch, atmosphere, and intimacy.

It is often used as foreplay or as an intimate activity between two partners. A sensual massage can be a great way to explore each other’s bodies and create an atmosphere of trust and intimacy.

These activities are a great way for couples to connect and explore each other’s bodies in a cozy yet sultry way. It can be a powerful tool for deepening intimacy, increasing pleasure, and creating a more meaningful connection between partners.

What Is Tantric Massage?

A sensual, erotic, or sexy massage is not synonymous with tantra or tantric massage, although they might overlap in some ways.

An erotic massage differs from a tantric massage in that erotic massage focuses more on the physical pleasure of the body and less on the spiritual aspects.

Tantra takes a more holistic approach and integrates different methods to connect psychologically and physically with one’s partner. Tantric massage is another effective and highly recommended technique for building bonds between partners.

The Benefits

It has been widely documented that massages generally have far-reaching therapeutic benefits that can lessen pain, relax muscles, and release feelings of happiness from the brain.

An erotic massage has many benefits of a therapeutic massage but in a fun and sexy way. The benefits of a sensual massage are numerous, both physically and emotionally.

With the right techniques, you can elevate your partner’s mood, increase trust and bonding, cause the release of dopamine (a feel-good hormone), and increase sexual pleasure, potentially leading to multiple orgasms for women and lasting longer in bed for men.

Slow touching can help couples become more comfortable and confident with each other’s bodies, and it can be a great way to introduce new techniques to your sex life.

How to Set the Mood

The mood is an essential part of any erotic massage. It sets the tone for the entire experience and can make or break the massage. The right mood can help create a relaxed, sensual atmosphere that will make the massage more enjoyable and pleasurable for both parties.

Creating the right mood starts with setting up the environment.

Remove Distractions

Creating a distraction-free environment is essential for an enjoyable and pleasurable sensual massage. 

It’s important to ensure the space is free of any potential distractions, such as phones, TVs, or other electronics. 

Make sure that the room is comfortable and inviting. Remove any reminders of the outside world, so that only the two of you exist in the bedroom during the body massage.


Surroundings play a significant role in creating the perfect atmosphere. The environment should be comfortable and inviting, so add pillows, soft blankets, and cozy or fuzzy items to help your partner relax.

Take away any items that induce urgency, such as a clock on the wall or next to the bed, which may remind your partner that she has other things to do that day. 

Remove any items that may be uncomfortable, such as a hard bed frame or an old mattress. Replace with a new, softer mattress if finances allow, or consider investing in a massage table.


The right lighting can help create a relaxed and intimate atmosphere that will make your partner feel comfortable and safe.

Soft, dim lighting is best for creating a romantic atmosphere. Massage candles are a great option as they provide soft, flickering light that creates a cozy ambiance. If candles aren’t an option, you can use dimmer switches or adjustable lamps to control the lighting in the room.

Standard bedside lamps can work too. To ensure the lighting is just right, drape a thin fabric, nonflammable, of course, over the lamp. This will help to soften the light and create a more romantic setting.

It is recommended to experiment with lightning before the massage. This will help you determine what lighting works best for your particular situation. For example, if you are in a bedroom, you may want to use massage candles or dimmer switches to create a more romantic atmosphere. In a larger space, such as a living room, you may want to use adjustable or bedside lamps with thin fabric draped over them.

No matter what type of lighting you choose, it is important to ensure that the light is soft and not too bright. 


Choose calming and soothing music, such as classical or instrumental music. Avoid anything with distracting lyrics.

You can also use sound machines to create a more relaxing environment. These machines are designed to mimic the sounds of nature, such as rain, thunderstorms, or ocean waves. They provide a calming background noise that can help your partner relax and enjoy the massage.

If you don’t happen to have a sound machine lying around the house, head over to YouTube for a relaxing nature soundtrack. 

Massage Lotion and Oil

Before beginning a massage, it is essential to select the appropriate oils. Varied types of massage oils exist, so choosing one suitable for your companion’s skin type is essential. For instance, if your companion has delicate skin, you may want to use a hypoallergenic oil. If their skin is dry, you might prefer an oil with more moisturizing properties.

Consider the aroma of the oil. Some favor a delicate, pleasant fragrance, whereas others might find intense scents too much. If you want, you can also go for an odorless option.

The texture of the oil you select is important. Pick one with the right viscosity for gliding over the entire body, giving the perfect full-body massage experience.

Massage oil is an excellent choice because it is designed to be used on the skin and body safely for most applications.

Baby oil is a makeshift option for intimate massage, even though it’s greasy and not designed for this purpose. Coconut oil, jojoba oil, and almond oil are better alternatives, if professional massage oils are not within your reach.

If you choose to use essential oils, don’t forget to mix them with carrier oil before applying them topically. Otherwise, you risk getting skin irritations, rashes, or allergic reactions.

There’s a lot of debate surrounding using essential oils on pregnant women. While some professionals believe it is safe, others recommend avoiding them entirely as they may be absorbed into the skin and potentially interact with the baby or placenta during your sexy massages.

Once you have selected the right oil for your partner’s skin type, warm it up before giving your partner a sexy massage. 

Scents and Aromas

Aromatherapy oils are known for their calming and soothing properties, which can help to reduce stress and anxiety. They also have aphrodisiac qualities, which can increase arousal and pleasure.

Try using essential oils in the room to add a touch of pleasant scents. Use a diffuser to disperse the scent throughout the room. You can also use scented candles or incense sticks to create a more romantic atmosphere.

Start with a small amount and gradually increase the scents as needed. This will help to ensure that your partner is not overwhelmed by the scents in the bedroom.

Choose scents such as massage candles, incense, or essential oils that are not too powerful. Scents like lavender, jasmine, and sandalwood are known for their calming and relaxing properties.


Lastly, get the temperature just right. One of the most important things to remember is that your partner will be fully unclothed. This means that you need to ensure the room temperature is comfortable. If it’s too cold, they won’t be able to relax and enjoy the massage. If it’s too hot, they may become uncomfortable and distracted.

To ensure the perfect temperature, keep the remote nearby to adjust the temperature during the massage if needed. This will help create a more comfortable environment for your partner and ensure they get the most out of their experience.

Where to Touch Your Partner

Give special attention to your partner’s erogenous zones during a massage. These particular body parts respond strongly to touch! Common erogenous zones for women include:

If the receiver is male, the giving partner should focus on these areas:

Use different massage techniques to touch, tantalize, and heighten pleasure in the above areas.

How to Give an Erotic Massage to a Woman

Focusing on the right areas will ensure she is truly aroused and ready before getting more intimate. You don’t have to be a trained massage therapist to give a good massage. Focus on what feels good and build sexual tension by touching different body parts.

Step 1: Prepare the Space​

Before your massage, create a cozy and inviting atmosphere with the tips above. Make sure the space is comfortable and faintly lit, with suave music in the background. 

You can also light candles or burn incense to enhance the environment. If you have a massage table, place it in the center of the room and cover it with a clean sheet.

Step 2: Remove Clothing

Fully nude is preferred. Ask your partner to remove their clothing and lie on the massage table. Cover your partner’s body with a sheet or towel and reveal each section of the body as you move from top to bottom to increase feelings of privacy. Lying completely nude without any coverage can be intimidating for some and lead to feelings of insecurity.

Wearing minimal clothing, such as a bra and underwear, can work for a massage but will prevent certain sensitive areas from receiving proper attention.

Step 3: Begin with the Back​

Open your message with a gentle brushing of the person you are massaging’s back. Utilize long, unwinding strokes to loosen up their muscles and improve blood flow. As you move along their spine, focus on any points that seem particularly stiff or tense. You can also employ circular motions to knead out any muscle knotting.

Use gentle pressure to rub and caress to create a steady rhythm. Move slowly and steadily as you massage.

Step 4: Move to the Buttock​

Gently rub the area with your fingertips in circular motions to rub the muscles and promote circulation. Increase the pressure to massage deeper into each butt cheek.

For a more enjoyable massage for your partner, ensure they are both relaxed and aroused before lightly tracing your finger around their anus.

Step 5: Move to the Thighs and Legs​

Move on to their legs. Use gentle strokes and kneading motions. Pay special attention to the inner thighs, as this area is particularly sensitive. Use light, feathery touches to tease and tantalize your partner as you move up the legs.

Step 6: Ask Her to Turn Over​

Once you have finished massaging the legs, ask your partner to turn over. She should be lying comfortably on her back. Start with her neck and arms, using long strokes and gentle kneading motions. 

As you move down the body, focus on the chest and nipples — these areas are highly sensitive and can even be orgasm-inducing. Read more about nipple orgasms.

Don’t forget to reapply massage oil as needed during the sensual massage, and encourage feedback from your partner to get the most out of the experience.

Step 7: Massage the Genitals​

When your partner is completely relaxed, start caressing the genital area. Gently massage the clitoris and labia using circular motions. Fingertips can also lightly penetrate the vagina, using lots of lubrication. 

Step 8: Finish with a Lingering Touch​

End the massage by lightly stroking the person, gradually stroking your hands to aid them in calming down and returning to reality. This will guarantee they feel relaxed and contented when it’s over.

Optional: Foot​

You can also offer a foot massage as part of a sensual massage. Start the session with gentle fingertip strokes and circles to increase circulation and relax the muscles. Move up gradually using kneading techniques.

After your partner becomes more relaxed, apply more pressure on each toe and arch of the foot. You can also incorporate soft, feather-like movements to tantalize them.

How to Give an Erotic Massage (Male Edition)

Giving a massage to a male partner is a great way to show your love and appreciation for him — a happy ending is encouraged!

Step 1: Prepare the Space

Before you begin, make sure the space is comfortable and inviting. Use the techniques mentioned above in the female edition to create a warm and inviting atmosphere.

Step 2: Remove the Clothing

Tell him to take off his clothing and give him a towel or sheet to cover up. Keep the atmosphere warm and dim. Once he is comfortable, gently rub his back, neck, and shoulders.

Step 3: Start With the Neck and Back

To relieve tension in the neck and shoulders, begin with a gentle massage. Use your fingertips to apply circular pressure or knead for extra pressure.

Use long, slow strokes to relax the muscles and increase circulation in his back. Focus on tense or painful areas as you go up and down. Put more effort into his back than you would a female companion, since men usually carry extra tension in this area. 

Feel free to incorporate strong pushes and kneading movements to get into the knots. Be careful not to overdo it, though; the aim of this massage is pleasure and relaxation, not fixing twenty-five years of bad posture.

Step 4: Move to the Buttock

Stimulating the anus is a delicate subject for many, yet it offers immense gratification for people of all genders. Discuss this area with your partner before any massaging.

If he enthusiastically agrees, spend time massaging each cheek and then slightly part them to give some love to the perineum and anus. 

Use circular, gentle strokes to massage the area around the anus. You can use some massage oil for a more enjoyable experience, provided your partner approves. Gradually move closer to the anus as you continue your massage.

When you’re done working on this area, move back to the buttocks and proceed with your massage. Movements should be slow and gentle.

Step 5: Move to the Legs and Feet

Once you manipulate the back, move down to the lower legs and back of the feet. Begin by delicately caressing your partner’s extremities with your fingertips. Make long, drawn-out strokes to relax their muscles and boost blood flow. As you move across their limbs, find areas that feel exceptionally tight or sore.

Step 6: Turn Over

After massaging your partner’s back and shoulders, make sure to give attention to other areas of their body by having them turn over, then focusing on their chest, inner thighs, groin, and feet.

Step 7: Move to His Neck and Chest

When you start, give your friend a gentle massage on their neck and chest. Use your fingertips to rub the area in circular motions tenderly. Focus on spots between the clavicle and shoulders, typically neglected. Linger extra long over any places that appear especially tense or sore.

Step 8: Move to His Legs

During a sensual massage, skipping the groin area can build more anticipation. Start with the legs and thighs to relax your partner and prepare him for what’s ahead.

Step 9: Move to His Groin

Begin with rubbing the inner thighs and region above his penis. Progressively move towards his scrotum and penis. 

After you reach his testicles, utilize light pressure to caress them delicately. This will aid him in calming down and entering the ideal frame of mind for what is ahead.

Step 10: Finish with a Lingering Touch or Happy Ending

Once you have finished massaging his groin area, finish off with a lingering touch or happy ending. If your partner is comfortable with it, you can use your hands to bring him to orgasm.


Once your sensual massage is finished, it’s important to take some time for aftercare. This can include cuddling, talking, or just lying in silence. Using the time to reconnect and express your love and appreciation for each other will help make the experience even more special. 

Discuss the experience and discuss any areas that felt particularly good or sensitive. Thank your partner for their efforts too! 

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