56 Tips for Men Who Want to Get Better at Sex in 2023

56 Tips for Men Who Want to Get Better at Sex in 2023

Yes, you can get better in bed!

If you have struggled with intimate sexual relationships for a long time, it might seem impossible to please another person.

We will teach you 50+ methods to improve your emotional and mental connection with women so that when you get the opportunity to connect physically, you will have all the necessary skills to do so.

Great sex starts with you, then her, and finally, you and her. Let’s start with you. 

Table of Contents

Sex Tips for You to Improve Your Sex Life

Getting better in bed starts with you, your body, your health, and your mindset. 

Luckily, you are mostly under your own control, and once you master these sex tips, you will see an improvement in your sex life.

How to Prepare for Rough Sex

Fucking hard and rough sex go hand in hand, and you really can’t have one without the other. Fucking hard is a physical action, but rough sex is the entire experience. It’s raw, animalistic, and passionate, but don’t rush in with guns ablaze.

If you want to have satisfying rough sex, you need to establish some short and simple rules of engagement.

Resolve Your PE

The devil in the room has a name, and it’s premature ejaculation, but sometimes he prefers the name erectile dysfunction.

Premature ejaculation (PE) happens when you unintentionally ejaculate before sex or in less than a minute once sex has started. Many men have suffered from PE at some point, which can be frustrating. 

Premature ejaculation prevents you and your partner from thoroughly enjoying intercourse, and often sex ends too soon for your partner to reach orgasm. 

Because the problem is so common, many options exist for improving it. Without PE, you will be better in bed and give your partner more pleasure. 

Resolve Your ED

Erectile dysfunction (ED) does not only affect men in their 50s or older. It’s quite common in much younger men and causes a lot of shame and guilt to those suffering from it. 

You didn’t ask for ED, but it impacts your sex life and sexual enjoyment. The most effective way to improve your sex life is to work through whatever may be the root cause to satisfy your partner. 

There are physical causes of EDsuch as weight concerns, health conditions, and certain health disorders. There are also psychological causes, such as stress, trauma, and depression. 

Whatever factors may contribute to your sexual dysfunction, try to overcome it with exercise, healthier diets, and professional advice.

Master Your Mindset

Often we forget that our mental state impacts our sex lives. If you’re currently experiencing high stress, depression, anxiety, or trauma, chances are you aren’t having great sex. 

Likewise, if your partner is currently dealing with many pent-up negative emotions, your sex life will struggle. 

One underrated tip for better sex that people don’t like to hear because it isn’t sexy is taking time away from sex to work through other issues hindering your sex life. 

Just because you’re taking a break from penetration doesn’t mean you can’t do other things like kissing, cuddling, or sensual massages. Also, the break doesn’t have to be forever, but allowing yourself or your partner time to work past their mental roadblocks will lead to better sex later. 

So, don’t only master your mindset, but allow her time to master her own. 

Overcome Your Own Insecurities

This doesn’t sound like it should be a sex tip, but trust us, it is. 

Insecurities affect every aspect of your life. If you think about it, consider all the opportunities you may have missed because you were afraid, self-doubting, or insecure. For example, you could have had conversations with beautiful women, but you thought they would never be interested. 

Everyone is insecure about something; this is life. 

But whatever insecurities you have in the bedroom could hinder your sex life and stop you from having great sex. Are you insecure about the size of your penis? Body hair? Weight? The random tattoo of your ex’s name?

Overcoming bedroom insecurities is the best sex tip you can find.

Be Willing to Learn

Few people have all the answers regarding their own or their partners’ bodies. If you think you have all the answers, you’re boring or actually know nothing. 

You’re always a student. There will always be something you didn’t know about someone, yourself, or your sexuality. 

Be open to feedback and adjustments, and get back to the drawing board repeatedly.

The more adaptable you are as a lover, the more your partner will be satisfied. 

Say, “Presence Over Performance”

Sex is not an exam, but sometimes we act like it is. We must complete many skills and assessments, or otherwise, we fail. It isn’t like that, but we put so much pressure on ourselves that our presence dissipates. 

Sex is not a performance. Let’s be clear. However,  we get so caught up in the goals, checklists, and timelines that we forget to enjoy the sexual experience. Did I make her cum? Will she cum? Am I cumming too soon? I will do X, Y, and Z precisely in that order to make her cum — it’s too much!

Instead of being goal-oriented in the bedroom, be presence-oriented. Learn to go with the flow. Move at a pace if it feels like the right thing to do, and be open to doing Y, Z, X, not X, Y, and Z all the time. 

Not only does this improve her pleasure, but it will also improve your own because you can take the pressure off yourself and finally relax.

Become a Master Communicator

Before becoming a master negotiator and getting a better sex life, you should know how to discuss the needs you will negotiate later. 

A master communicator speaks, listens, and understands the other person’s core stance, concerns, and limits. If you only speak but rarely listen, she’s not being heard. Or, in the opposite case, you constantly listen to everyone else’s needs but never consider your own; you’re not being heard.

Communicate with your partner in a way she understands. Everyone has love languages and ways they expect to receive affection. Learning each other’s love languages might help. If problems have gotten out of hand, it might also be helpful to speak to a professional sex therapist and learn tips and techniques for improving communication while in sex therapy.

Become a Master Negotiator

To improve your sex life, you need to get what you want. Of course, your partner should get what she wants, but what should you do if your needs differ dramatically? Learn how to negotiate your bedroom habits to get the best middle ground possible.

Ideally, you and your partner will be on the same page and enjoy much of the same sexual activities, but if, for some reason, you don’t, one person has to give up a lot to make the other happy. 

If you are dissatisfied with your sex life, negotiate your needs better. For example, you could try negotiating to get more sex by lessening some of her burdens, such as dealing with the children or household chores. 

Talk About Your Sex Life

An undervalued sex tip that will 100% improve any dysfunctional or stagnant sex life is just talking about it. 

Refer back to the mind reader comment. How will you know the problem if you don’t talk about it? On the flip side, how will you know that she adores and doesn’t want anything different from what you do to her without, at some point, speaking about sex? 

Speaking about your sex life has numerous benefits, from cueing you into problems you might have been oblivious to or remembering all the good times you’ve enjoyed.

Talk About Your Sexual Fantasies

Speaking of your sex life, do you know what might make it better? Talk about your deepest fantasies. 

If you can’t speak about it openly and honestly, the relationship requires maintenance to fix those bugs and get things running smoothly. A healthy relationship is built on good communication.

Describe your fantasies and encourage her to do the same in detail. You might find that you have more than a few fantasies in common and can work together to make them a reality.

Remove 'Make Her Cum' From Your To-Do List

Many men have a singular goal during sex — make her cum!

It’s the goalpost in every sexual encounter, which puts pressure on you and her.

Good sex was not concocted in a pressure cooker, so why create high-stakes sexual encounters? Although it’s great to show you care about her sexual pleasure by wanting her to cum, it should not be your singular goal. Women can enjoy sex without cumming, and women sometimes don’t cum because of nothing their partner did but because of physical, emotional, or mental issues. 

It’s not your responsibility to make her cum. Be present (see the above sex tip) and allow things to flow naturally. 

Now Say, “I Want Sex!”

There’s nothing wrong with wanting sex. Be vocal about it and talk about what you want in your sex life, what you want from yourself, and what you want from her.

A closed mouth doesn’t get fed. So if your needs or her needs are unmet in the bedroom, it’s probably because no one is opening their mouth and speaking up about what they want. 

Unless you are Professor X, you’re not a mind reader. It’s insane to think that we spend so much time wanting and wishing for people to know our needs and so little speaking up about them. 

This sex tip applies to both you and her. Talk about what you want, and expect and encourage her to do the same. 

Then Say Her Name

Do you realize how sexy it is to hear your name? Science even backs it up that hearing your name triggers a unique reaction in the brain. 

Think about it. Your partner is riding you, moaning, and nearing orgasm. As she gets close, she starts uttering your name as a whisper, but it gets louder the closer she gets. You’d feel like the man, right? Or at least happy that her pleasure is because of you. She’s screaming your name in ecstasy. 

Women like hearing their partners say their names, not just during sex but during foreplay and dirty talk. 

You’ve missed a prime opportunity if you’ve never romantically said your partner’s name or said it while breathing heavily, grunting, or moaning. 

Don’t go overboard. Her name doesn’t belong at the end of every sentence, but say it frequently enough to make her feel good and let her know she’s the one on your mind. 

Respect Boundaries

We would love to say that every man and woman alive said, “Thank you. I understand,” whenever things did not go their way in the bedroom. But we’d be lying.

Sadly, only some respect boundaries, and some are more upfront about their disrespect than others, but the result is the same. Instead of growing closer, you end up pushing people further away.

An example of a blatant dismissal of someone’s boundaries would be proceeding with a sexual act after they said no (this is also sexual assault). A less sinister example but still disregard for someone’s boundaries would be after your partner repeatedly said they did not want to do something in the bedroom and listed numerous reasons why. Instead of respecting their wishes, you look for every excuse to discuss the topic, hoping that today will be the day she changes her mind. 

Only some women will be up for every activity in the bedroom. It could be frustrating if it’s something you want to try or enjoy, but a healthy sexual relationship is based on mutual respect. 

If your sex life is suffering and you aren’t sure why you could have pushed your partner away by ignoring her boundaries and comfort zone. 

Once she trusts you again, you can work towards better sex.

Live Your Fantasy

Role-playing is a fun way to live out fantasies and a great way to learn about what turns you on and what turns her on.

Try role-playing together. Have her be the submissive, and you be dominant. Or vice versa. You can even play a game where you pretend to be someone else.

Role-playing is a fun way to have your needs met. It should go both ways, and she should be aware of your fantasies if you have them. Negotiate which aspects you both are comfortable with, and get busy!

Be Open to Role Reversal

Although many women enjoy submission, some prefer the opposite. Some women get off by being in charge in the bedroom, bossing their partner around, or even doing activities such as pegging, where a female partner uses a dildo to have anal sex with her male partner. 

Role reversal flips dominant and submissive, so if you’re usually the dominant one in the bedroom, it’ll be her this time. You don’t have to go as far as pegging unless that appeals to you, but simple things such as letting her tie you up, ride your face, or command you to do things to her in the bedroom are highly arousing for some women.

Do whatever suits you and your partner, but this sex tip will make at least a few wives and girlfriends happy. 

Be More Spontaneous

Planning dates and romantic getaways are all good, but being spontaneous is also an excellent idea. Go for it whenever you feel the urge to express romantic feelings, kiss, caress, tease, or initiate sex!

As long as the setting is appropriate, there’s no reason why you have to limit sex to planned evenings. 

Try going into a bathroom for a quickie or a passionate kiss at a restaurant or public setting. Find somewhere a little more private in the park and kiss her.

Be Enthusiastic

Give your all to pleasing your partner, and she will give her all to please you. Don’t eat pussy unless you love doing it. Kiss your partner like you mean it. Tell her how much you appreciate her body and how sexy she looks.

Invest not only your time but your energy into improving your life love.

Grunt, Moan, and Scream

Get vocal during sex to let your partner know you enjoy the sexual experience as much as she does. Many men hide their sexual enjoyment, only making a few breathy sounds.

During sex, let your partner know how much you enjoy the experience by being more vocal about it.

Move Better During Sex

Could you put a well-trained Latin dancer to shame with your abilities to move your hips, or are you as stiff as a board? If the answer is the latter, invest in dance classes or at least a few free YouTube tutorials to learn how to loosen up your hips and move better. 

What does dancing have to do with sex? Sex is a sort of dance, in a way. You have two bodies intermingling with each other to a particular rhythm.

Or, more plainly, you use your hips a lot during sex!  Missionary, Doggy, and standing positions require you to move your hips to a pleasurable rhythm. 

If your hips are stiff, it’s likely that you are not reaching your full sexual potential and could experience and give your partner more pleasure by moving better. 

Give Her Something Good to Smell

An effortless sex tip for men is using a woman’s senses to heighten her arousal.  People underestimate just how much smell plays a role in sexual arousal. Certain smells have been shown to trigger responses in the brain that cause heightened sexual desire. 

If you want better sex, get a bottle of better cologne. Spray just enough to catch her attention but not enough to overwhelm her olfactory nerves. Come in close for a kiss so she can get a good whiff, and let the magic of your smell, nice clothes, and new haircut draw her in. 

Bring Back Her Handsome Man

Now that you smell right and are making her aroused by how good you smell try doing it by looking better than usual.

Women are visual creatures too. Just because women don’t drool over men the way men do over women does not mean a handsome, well-dressed gentleman (or a good-looking nude one) cannot turn her on.

Sex Tips to Connect Emotionally or Physically with Her

Connect with your partner on both an emotional and mental level before a physical one. It’s said that a woman’s largest erogenous zone is her mind, and it’s been proven that stronger bonds lead to more sexual gratification. These sex tips teach you how to engage both her mind and body.

Make Her Queen for a Day

When she’s the queen of the day, she will receive everything she wants in the bedroom and outside of it. During King for a Day, the roles reverse, and the man receives sexual pleasure.

This sex tip is excellent for couples who feel their needs are unmet and want a set time to express their desires and act on them.

Never Go in Dry

Never go without lube for anal sex, and consider if lube is necessary for vaginal sex too. Some women, especially near menopause, experience uncomfortable vaginal dryness that not only makes sex harder but sometimes painful. 

It doesn’t hurt to keep a bottle of water-based lubricant near your bedside table, just in case it’s needed.

Try Giving Her a Nipple Orgasm

A nipple orgasm is possible in some women. The breasts and nipples are super sensitive in some, enough to produce powerful whole-body orgasms comparable to clitoral or G Spot orgasms. 

Although a nipple orgasm is rare (less than 20% of women have reported having one), it never hurts to try and see if your partner is one of the few lucky ladies that might be capable of intense orgasms.

We’ve already written a guide to sucking her nipples and breast play, packed full of practical techniques to make her orgasm. Give that one a once-over.

Purchase Beginner-Friendly Sex Toys

Sex toys are popular additions to the bedroom and for a good reason. A toy can outlast, out-power, and build more intense orgasms than most fingers, hands, and other appendages.

But don’t think of it as a competition but rather an extension of your hand because sex toys can make most women cum and cum hard. 

If you are bored in the bedroom or want to take things up a level, purchase a few beginner-friendly sex toys that are enough to satisfy the majority of women who use them. 

We suggest a Hitachi Wand. It comes with a handle and head that vibrates not only the clitoris but the entire vulva at various speeds, rhythms, and patterns. It’s great for clitoral stimulation and easy to use. Hit the on button, start at the lowest vibration setting, and hold it against her clitoris or allow her to use it on herself while you watch.

Another easy-to-use toy is the G Spot wand. The G Spot is about a knuckle and half deep inside the vagina along the upper wall. Stimulating it can cause powerful G Spot orgasms and make some women squirt.

Most men have trouble stimulating the G Spot, especially if they have never learned from a previous romantic partner. It’s pretty simple, and we can show you how. Watch this YouTube video or bookmark this article for later. 

Go Wild and Get Kinkier Sex Toys

Once you have mastered the essential sex toys, you might want to take things up a notch and stimulate your partner in other orgasm-inducing ways. 

You may want to try a few kinkier toys: the butt plug or the vibrating butt plug. Learning to enjoy anal sex takes practice, but once you’ve mastered it, it’s one of the most enjoyable sexual experiences for both men and women. A vibrating butt plug sends vibrations throughout the anal canal that stimulates the Prostate Gland in men and the D Spot in women. 

If rougher sex interests you, try floggers, handcuffs, or paddles. 

Go a Little Harder in the Bedroom

Speaking up floggers, handcuffs, and paddles, rougher sex might be what you need to improve your sex life. 

Painful sex is not the same as rougher sex. Sex shouldn’t hurt — unless that’s your thing. But it doesn’t hurt to turn up the intensity one notch and get rougher in the bedroom. 

Rough sex includes many things suitable to everyone’s preferences and comfort zones. A few spanks could be considered rough sex in some people’s eyes. Whereas, for other people, it’s not rough until the headboards are shaking and bruises are left over as little reminders of the previous night’s affairs.

Rough sex can improve your sex life because it can spice things up; many women like dominance and submission, and it allows both parties involved to release a bunch of built-up sexual energy. 

Become a Master of Her Erogenous Zones

If you haven’t realized that a good scalp massage can make some women moan louder than oral sex, what are you doing?  Likewise, caressing her inner thighs makes her laugh and smile and may make her wet.

A woman is more than her breasts, nipples, clitoris, and butt. She has tons of hyper-sensitive areas around the body known as erogenous zones that, when stimulated, send lots of signals to the brain, putting sex on her mind. 

Show affection to the areas of her body that often get left out to dry during sex. Play with her hair, caress and kiss her back, neck, and thighs.

Become an Oral Sex Champion

Most women can not orgasm from penetration alone, and that’s where oral sex comes in. Plus, while you’re licking her clitoris, you can use your fingers to stimulate her G Spot and maybe put a finger inside her ass while at it. 

Oral sex is an essential skill, but most men are never properly taught how to do it. We’ve written an in-depth guide to eating pussy, which includes techniques, tips, and other information you need to know to make her cum. 

If you’re still doing the ABCs with your tongue, you’re doing something wrong. A woman needs consistent movement to cum, and if you skip through the entire alphabet, chances are, when you hit the spot she likes, you immediately move on to something else. 

There are a few tongue techniques you should do instead, such as keeping your tongue flat, using only the tip of your tongue, and more that you can use to make a girl cum from oral sex, all of which we discuss here. 

Needless to say, great oral sex skills are non-negotiable if you want to get better at sex. 

Make Her Weak in the Knees With a Pussy Massage

A pussy massage is another way to stimulate one of her most sensitive erogenous zones. Plus, because so few men know how to do one, you’re guaranteed to be better at sex than most men.

The foundations of a pussy massage are simple — Give love to her entire pussy, not just the clitoris. Save the clit for last. It’s that simple! Well, not that simple. You still need to learn a few more things to give an A+ pussy massage and get better at sex. 

Get your hand and fingers wet with lube. Start at the top of her pussy, called the Mons pubis. Rest your hand there, and then slide your wet hand downward. Repeat a few times, then add in some hand wiggles. Stimulate the opening of her vagina next, and finish on the clitoris. 

Stimulate Her A Spot

The A Spot is a not well-known part of the vagina. You’ve probably accidentally stimulated it before during penetration or while fingering, but otherwise, chances are you might not have heard about it. 

It’s the spot inside the vagina that’s just past the G Spot and also located on the upper vaginal wall. This spot is highly pleasurable for some women, but others might prefer their clitoris or G Spot to be stimulated.

Try stimulating her A Spot with your fingers next time you play with her G Spot. Use your longest finger because the spot is further back, and then go to town rubbing it in a circular motion and pulling your finger in a gentle or rough ‘come here’ motion. 

Stimulate Her Clitoris

Queen Clitoris has spoken, and she demands attention. The clitoris is one of the most pleasurable areas on a woman’s body as it’s full of nerve endings. The clitoris has more nerve endings than the head of a penis, and clitoral stimulation is how most women orgasm (or at least one of the ways most women orgasm).

You’ve probably stimulated the clitoris before, so here are a few sex tips for doing it better next time. Use consistent movements once you find something that works. Do not switch up and go faster or slower once she starts to moan and enjoy herself. Keep it consistent, and be patient. Rubbing the clitoris takes time. 

Use different methods to stimulate the clitoris. If you always use your tongue, try your fingers instead. If you always use your fingers, try a vibrator or wand next time. 

Experiment with different pressures, intensities, and rhythms. You might discover something she likes better than what you have been doing. 

Every clitoris is different; some are ultra-sensitive, and others take more effort. Be open to feedback and learn what type of clitoral stimulation gets your woman off. 

Stimulate Her Cervix

The cervix is the furthest point in the vagina. It’s also called the neck of the womb because this is where the uterus and vagina connect. 

The cervix opens a little during menstruation to allow tissue and fluids to pass, and also opens slightly during ovulation (the time a woman is most fertile) to allow sperm to swim inside easily. 

Now that we’ve gone over the fundamentals, let’s discuss why this is one of our sex tips. 

The cervix is pressure-sensitive. You probably hit her cervix during sex if you are well-endowed. Depending on the woman, that might have felt extremely good. If you aren’t very big, you can try different sex positions to stimulate her cervix or use your longest fingers and sex toys to do it as well. Besides pressure, the cervix also responds to touch. Rubbing your finger along the opening of the cervix can feel fantastic for many women. 

So next time you’re fingering your partner, go a little further and touch the cervix, and you might get an enthusiastic response.

Stimulate Her D Spot

Last on our list of vaginal spots is the D Spot. The D Spot is on the lower vaginal wall, not the upper, like the A Spot and G Spot.

Not all women respond well to having their D Spot stimulated because it pushes against the anal canal, and depending on the woman, that may or may not feel great. 

Still, it’s worth a try, especially if you know she enjoys anal, or you have a hunch that your partner does. You can stimulate the D Spot with your fingers by pressing down on the lower vaginal wall and moving your finger back and forward. You can also use a sex toy such as a dildo or vibrating egg to do the same thing. 

Experiment with all of her spots to wrap up our sex tips for stimulating the vagina.

Try Anal

Speaking of pegging, why not try anal together? It’s one of the few organs both women and men have that can be stimulated sexually. Anal sex is pleasurable for men because of the Prostate gland.

Women do not have a Prostate gland. However, anal is still very pleasurable because both the anus (the opening) and anal canal are touch sensitive and respond well to stimulation. Deeper inside the rectum, you’ll find that she responds better to pressure. 

There are a lot of fears about anal, especially if you have never tried it before, and many men and women are afraid it will hurt or think it’s dirty. Sadly, anal sex and anal play are much more complicated than vaginal or oral sex. However, using the right techniques and preparation, anal sex does not hurt and is very pleasurable. 

If you’ve gotten tired of vaginal and oral sex or just looking for something new, discuss anal sex with your partner and see what it does for your sex life. 

Send a Dirty Text

Sexting is a good foreplay move to get your partner’s mind on sex, and it’s also a good way to redirect the conversation to your sex life and speak about sex without the pressure of being face-to-face. 

Long before sex, start sexting your partner. Send her a picture (if you usually exchange nude photos) or a sexy text such as, “You don’t know what I’m going to do to you tonight” or even something simple and open-ended like, “I can’t wait to see you” is enough to make her wonder what’s in store for her in the evening. 

Fill Her Ears

After sexting her, spend time dirty talking to her during foreplay. Dirty talking gets a bad name, but it’s not dirty and doesn’t even have to come close to being vulgar. 

Even phrases such as “You’re so sexy” can be seen as dirty talk, but your mind may have jumped straight to something more intense like, “You dirty cum slut!” If you like calling her a slut, and she enjoys being called one in the bedroom, go for it. 

However, dirty talk doesn’t have to go that far to get the same effect — unless that’s what turns you and her on.

If you’re new to talking dirty and don’t know where to start, read this. We’ll teach you everything you need to know about making a woman weak in the knees with your mouth, and we aren’t talking about oral sex here. 

Make Her Feel Safe

Making a woman feel safe is fundamental to a healthy sex life. When a woman doesn’t feel safe, she doesn’t open up, communicate her sexual desire, or want to form an emotional connection with her partner.

You can make her feel safe by building trust. To build trust, spend time getting to know her, respecting her boundaries, and moving at a slower pace, if that’s what she needs.

Making her feel safe leads to the best sex of your life because she will not be inhibited in the bedroom.

Make Her Feel Sexy

Let your partner know that you undoubtedly find her irresistible and sexy.

Make her feel sexy by telling her how beautiful and hot you think she is. Show it physically by being an enthusiastic lover, randomly grabbing, caressing, or kissing her when it’s unexpected.

Let her feel the raw, inhibited sexual desire you have when you’re in her presence by acting as if you want to rip off her clothes from time to time.

When a woman feels sexy, she wants to be better in bed.

Make Her Feel Seen

When you make her feel seen, you acknowledge everything that makes her unique and appreciate those features. You listen to her and take an interest.

For a good reason, a woman’s largest erogenous zone is her mind. Any time you trigger her mind by showing affection, care, and interest, you will naturally better relate to women over time and thus have an improved sex life.

Make Her Feel Scared

This tip might need to be clarified. After all, you’ve just spent several minutes reading about respecting boundaries, limits, and consent. So, how can you make her feel scared while doing all those things, and why does it matter?

When she’s slightly scared of your masculine energy, it helps you get your needs across and met. It also helps her feel safe (see the above tip) because she knows she has a man who can protect her.

Protective, dominant roles are sexy to women. We might not be cavemen anymore, but the fundamental beliefs remain. Women respect and prefer strong men.

Make Her Feel Soft

Lastly, if you want better sex, you must prioritize making your woman feel like a soft, well-taken-care-of Queen.

Sure, dominance is sexy (see the above tip), but you can’t be on the brink of ravishing her and fucking her hard in every single sexual encounter.

Women also want to feel their softer side and be seen as soft. Make room for soft caresses, soft kisses, and being slow and gentle because there is a delicate balance between being a brutish caveman and a nuanced gentleman capable of both savagery and gentleness. 

Sex Tips for You and Her

Finally, we get to the last phase of great sex. These tips will allow you to bond more effectively with your partner, make more time for sex, have better and more sex, and reach higher levels of sexual pleasure. 

Hold Hands Like Grade School Crushes Again​

There’s just something ever so endearing to be held by and guided by a lover. Holding hands is one of the most fundamental moves you can do to show a woman you care about her.

Although not as exciting as a tumble in the sheets, simple hand-holding will send fuzzy, warm feelings to her brain that can eventually lead to an arousing tumble in the sheets if you continue to play your cards right. If you happen to be a part of Gen Z, hand-holding was ranked as more intimate than a blowjob due to the casual nature of hookups and sex these days.

Therefore, take her hand while walking together in a crowd and bring her closer. Randomly caress and hold her hand at regular intervals throughout the day. Ensure she knows you care and are thinking about being near her.

Then, when the moment’s right, go in for a passionate and steamy kiss that could make even the most desensitized person blush.

Kiss More, Kiss Passionately

Kiss whenever you can, and do it passionately. 

Kissing is an underrated sex technique regarding kissing on the lips. Kissing releases tons of feel-good hormones around the body and can increase arousal. 

Give your partner a good and passionate kiss before, during, and after sex. The perfect kiss involves the lips, tongue, and hands — yes, hands! Idle hands are a waste. While kissing your partner, caress her neck, grab her, hold her firmly in your arms, pull her hair, or place a hand over her heart. 

Get your lips busy, and the rest of her and your body will follow. 

Start With Mutual Masturbation

Watching someone you care about pleasure themselves is highly erotic and arousing for a lot of people. Instead of jumping on top of each other, take a few moments to explore your bodies and watch each other do the same. 

When the moment is right, reach over and start caressing and touching one another without focusing too much on the genitals. Glide your hands over each other’s bodies, allowing them to fall wherever they may before reaching down and rubbing her clitoris or her taking over and jerking you off. 

There are a lot of benefits to mutual masturbation, and it has been shown to increase intimacy, bonding, and sexual satisfaction. 

Starting with mutual masturbation slows things down in the bedroom. The goal isn’t to cum during it but to appreciate your body and each other’s bodies without rushing to penetration. 

Experiment with Sex Positions

Like your stiff hips, your sex position could be ruining your sex life or, at least, not allowing you to reach your maximum potential. 

Doggy might not be for you. And crazy sex positions like the Full Nelson might be too advanced for you or her to pull off. 

Sticking to what you know and maintaining your routine might be easier. What if not only is your sex life boring because you refuse to switch things up, but you’re missing on a position that more readily allows you to hit her spots to make her cum? 

Some positions are better for particular penises (small, large, curved, etc.), body types, and hitting pleasure points.

Go on Regular Dates

Life gets in the way of good sex. A crying baby, unpaid bills, or hormonal angsty teenagers will ruin your sex life faster than you can imagine.

Romance and date each other again by going on regular dates to improve your sex life because a scheduled time and place for romance remind you and her that sex and romance should be a priority. Go on a date at least once weekly without distractions, just you and her time. 

Go on a Sex Holiday

A sex holiday is one step up from a weekly date night. If you can, plan a one-week or longer getaway to the destination of your choice for some quality fucking, I meant relaxing time.

Sex holidays have everything you could ever want for good sex: beautiful beach or mountains, room service, so you don’t have to cook, a maid to clean up the mess in the morning, and of course, a beautiful, happy woman who’s glad to be at your side enjoying her holiday. 

Go Lingerie Shopping Together

This tip serves two purposes. She gets a new lingerie set to show you in the bedroom. Two, you get to watch her showing off in the bedroom.

Not to mention, it’s a good way to get on the same page about your sex life by shopping together and purchasing things such as lingerie, sex toys, or lube that reminds you of sex.

Cook Together

This may sound like a strange tip, but hear us out. Cooking together is an excellent way to bond and, after cooking, perhaps messy sex afterward.

And did we mention that some foods are an aphrodisiac? 

Invite your partner over for a cooking session. Depending on how far you want to take things, you could even greet her wearing nothing but a chef’s hat and apron, and it might also be super hot if she did the same. 

Cook together, enjoy whatever you made, and hit the sheets. Or skip the eating part, toss her onto the kitchen counter, and get busy immediately. 

Get Rid of Distractions

Going on a date or sex holiday is an excellent way to get rid of distractions, but when those aren’t options, try turning cell phones off for one or two hours per day, sending the children away for the afternoon, or going somewhere calm and quiet like an empty park to spend time together. Distractions prevent you and her from focusing on each other inside and outside the bedroom. 

A poorly timed distraction could be the difference between reaching orgasm or not in the bedroom.

Take Your Sweet Time

Avoid rushing to finish or moving on to the next position or technique. Spend a lot of time on foreplay and allow the sexual tension to build. Then spend even more time exploring and touching each other’s bodies.  

Watch Porn or Read Erotic Material Together

Watching porn and reading erotic material before sex can increase your arousal. 

Some women enjoy porn with their partners; others do not. If porn doesn’t interest her, watch a Hollywood movie with sex scenes or read erotic materials so she can listen to your voice describing different sexual acts. 

Don't Fear Eye Contact

Eye contact during sex is incredibly intimate. Sex positions such as missionary, cowgirl, and seashell, where you are face-to-face, are good choices for looking deeply into each other’s eyes and connecting on more than a physical level. 

See Each Other

Sometimes, seeing and appreciating one another before sex can lead to stronger emotional bonds and better orgasms. 

A great way to do this is with a sensual massage, where you touch and explore each other’s bodies without expecting sex.

Take the time to see her: every mark on her body, every tattoo, curve, dimple, and more that make her your partner. Appreciate her uniqueness and why she’s special.

Become Nudists Together

Not that you must fully commit to the nudist lifestyle, but try walking around naked more in each other’s presence. Spend an hour or so fully nude, without touching each other, and see how much sexual energy is built up.


Great lovemaking is a balance of give and takes, speaking and listening, and connecting emotionally and physically. You can’t have great sex if one of these equations is unbalanced.

Therefore, use these sex tips to form a stronger emotional, mental, and physical bond and stronger orgasms, mind-blowing lovemaking, and relationship satisfaction will follow.

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Something missing in your sex life?

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Something missing in your sex life?

Up your game with the "Best She Ever Had Online Academy"