We all want to be able to satisfy our partners during sex. While being passionate and eager are important, being dominant can help you take your love life up a notch.
Knowledge is power, and when it comes to becoming a better lover, a basic understanding of techniques that lead to dominating your lover can help reignite the flame between you and her.
Try these 20 tips to become more dominant and please your partner in bed. From body language to verbal cues, these tricks will take your sex life from average to sizzling hot!
Table of Contents
What is Dominance?
Dominance in the bedroom is a way of expressing power and control during sexual activities.
It involves one partner taking the lead and being in charge while the other follows their implied and explicit instructions.
This can involve physical dominance, such as restraining or spanking, and psychological dominance, such as verbal commands or humiliation. Sexual dominance can enhance pleasure for both partners as long as consent is involved.
What Dominance Is Not…
Dominance is not about one partner dominating the other in an abusive or coercive way.
It should never involve physical harm and should always be consensual.
It is not about one partner having complete control over the other but rather a mutual exchange of power and pleasure. Dominance should also never be used to manipulate or pressure someone into doing something they don’t want to do or into acts that make them feel disrespected, unsafe, and unheard.
Leadership through agreement, not forcing or coercing, is dominance.
How to Be More Dominant in Bed
These tips will help you take the lead in the bedroom, keep your partner’s and your safety and pleasure in mind, and communicate your sexual desires with her.
Get Consent
Getting consent is an essential part of taking charge in the bedroom. Before beginning any form of domination, ensure your partner is comfortable.
Respect her boundaries and desires, and never pressure her into doing something she doesn’t want to do.
Communicate
Good communication is essential for having an amazing time in the bedroom. Have a conversation with your partner about her boundaries and what she’s interested in. Then, let your partner know you’re taking the reins. Be specific about what you need from her and ensure she understands and consents.
Use Safe Words
A safe word is a word or phrase that your partner can use to indicate that she is uncomfortable or needs to stop. This allows her to communicate her boundaries and needs quickly and effectively.
When setting up a safe word, ensure that it is something you both agree on and will be easy to remember.
Easy safe words are green, yellow, and red. They have the same meaning as traffic lights, yellow means slow down, and red means full stop. Always discuss what went wrong whenever you have to slow or stop sexual activities.
Embody Dominance
Embodying dominance in the bedroom is about more than just giving orders. It’s about taking control of the situation and leading your partner through it.
To embody dominance, you should focus on your body language, presence, and attitude. Stand tall and walk in a way that conveys security and confidence. Make eye contact with your partner and maintain a confident posture.
Be confident in your decisions, and don’t be afraid to take charge. Show your partner you are comfortable being dominant and know what you’re doing.
She won’t respect you in a dominant position if you don’t respect yourself.
Have Control Over Yourself
Being dominant in the bedroom doesn’t mean that you have to be out of control. You should still maintain control over yourself and your actions. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you; make sure you know your partner’s boundaries and needs. Be aware of your limits as well. Know when it is time to take a break or slow down.
Control Your Sexual Pleasure
Take charge, show your partner what you like, and delay gratification for as long as possible. This will help build anticipation and make the experience even more pleasurable. It’s difficult for women to respect a man that cums in seconds and cannot maintain an erection.
One way to do this is by taking your time during foreplay. Spend time exploring each other’s bodies and teasing each other.
Make sure she cums!
Start Slowly
Don’t rush into anything; start slow when first taking on a more dominant role and embracing your dominant side. Start with small things like light spanking or hair pulling, and work your way up.
Being dominant in the bedroom takes time and practice. Don’t expect yourself or your partner to be perfect immediately. Be patient as you learn what works best for you, but also be willing to explore new things and try different activities.
Hold Eye Contact
Maintaining eye contact is an important part of being dominant in the bedroom, and it shows your partner that you are confident and in control.
It also helps to create a deeper connection and build intimacy, making the experience more enjoyable for both of you.
Learn more about the power of eye contact during sex here.
Pull Her Hair
When pulling her hair, start slowly and gently. Ensure you are not pulling too hard or fast, as this could cause discomfort or pain. Ask your partner if they are comfortable with the amount of pressure you are using, and start by pulling from the root, not the ends. A great way to do this is to ask your partner to put her hair into a high ponytail.
Guide Her Movements
Guide her movements to show your partner that you are in control, and it allows you to direct the experience.
Start by placing your hands on her hips or shoulders and guiding her into different positions. You can also use your body to guide her by pushing her back onto the bed or pressing against her from behind.
Dirty Talk
Talking dirty is a great way to add dominance and excitement to your bedroom experience. Start by discussing what you want to do or like about her. Describe how she makes you feel, and use words that convey power and authority.
Pay attention to your partner’s reactions and adjust your language accordingly. Some people may be uncomfortable with certain words or phrases, so be clear beforehand.
Be Aware of Your Tone of Voice
Being dominant in the bedroom doesn’t just mean taking control of the physical aspects of sex; it also means being aware of your voice and how you communicate with your partner.
Your tone should be firm but not aggressive. Speak with confidence and authority, and make sure your partner knows you are in charge.
Be clear about what you want, but also be open to feedback and suggestions from your partner.
Give Commands
Tell your partner to do something, don’t ask. For example, tell her to take off her bra. Don’t wait patiently for her to do it in her own timing.
Order her to get into a particular position by saying, “on your knees,” or something along that effect before performing oral sex. Use verbal commands to get more of what you want in the bedroom.
Buy Her Sexy Outfits
One way to be more dominant in bed is to take control of your partner’s clothing. This can be done in various ways, from simply unbuttoning her shirt or unzipping her pants to completely removing her clothes. You can also use clothing as bondage by tying her up with scarves.
Another way to be more dominant in bed is to buy her sexy outfits. This can be anything from lingerie and stockings to a full-on fetish outfit. Not only will this make your partner feel sexy, but it will also allow you to control her look and how she presents herself.
Touch Her Often
Don’t forget about the power of touch! Start by lightly caressing her body and then gradually increase the pressure. Use your hands to guide her movements in and out of the bedroom, or hold her hand. Small gestures can have a large impact.
Overpower Her
One of the most dominant things you can do in bed is overpower your partner. This doesn’t mean being violent or aggressive but using your body weight and strength to take control.
For example, you can pin her down on the bed and hold her there while you kiss her neck or whisper in her ear. You can also use your body to block her from moving or to keep her in a certain position.
Restrict Movements
Restricting your partner’s movements can be done in various ways, from using handcuffs, ropes, sex swings, and bondage gear to simply holding her down with your body weight.
Use furniture or other objects to restrict her movements. For example, you can tie her wrists to the headboard, secure her in a sex swing, or have her lay on the bed while you kneel over her.
Control Her Senses
Use blindfolds, masks, and other sensory deprivation tools to limit your partner’s sight and hearing. It’s a fun little exercise that makes her feel more vulnerable and open to your commands.
Try blindfolding your partner and then giving her a sensual massage. Once your partner is blindfolded, lightly caress their body with your hands. As you do this, use verbal commands to direct her into different positions and to tell her what you want her to do.
You can also use props such as feathers or ice cubes to add an extra element of surprise and pleasure. As you explore their body, pay attention to their reactions and adjust your touch accordingly.
Get Feedback
One way to be more dominant is to know what your partner likes and wants in the bedroom, so that you can enjoy taking charge, while also giving her pleasure.
The most effective way to understand your partner fully is to get feedback during and after sex.
Dominance Role Plays
Role plays are a great way to explore dominance in the bedroom. Start by discussing with your partner what role play they would be comfortable with, and then create a scene together.
You can also use props such as costumes or sex toys to add an extra element of fun and surprise.
Easy dominance role plays include teacher and student, doctor and patient, or boss and employee. You can also explore more complex roles such as master and slave or take more of an interest in BDSM.
More advanced role plays include rape fantasies, prolonged bondage, and humiliation.
Dominant Sex Positions
Dominant sex positions include any in which the dominant partner controls the pace, movements, and even the pleasure of the submissive partner. Examples include the classic missionary, doggy style, and CEO sex positions.
Those looking for something a little more exciting should consider the Eagle, Full Nelson, Mexican Halloween, and the Leo.
These positions might be new to some, so let us explain. The Eagle is a beginner-friendly man on top sex position similar to missionary. The female partner should lay on her back comfortably, spread her legs, lift her pelvis, and then keep her legs flexed and lifted throughout intercourse. For additional domination, the male partner can grab the female’s wrists and pin her against the bed while thrusting.
The Full Nelson is a little more complicated. It is an advanced sex position that requires coordination between you and her! The female partner straddles her man on the bottom while he grabs and pins her arms behind their back like a wrestling move. This position can be quite intimate as it requires both partners to be close together and allows for deep penetration.
Mexican Halloween is an oral sex position where the male partner sits on his female partner’s face and thrusts into her wide-open mouth.
Lastly, Leo is similar to doggy, but instead of kneeling behind the female partner, the male will crouch over her, pushing her down onto the bed. He will then remain slightly elevated, using his leg muscles to thrust into his partner.
These roles allow the dominant partner to take charge and bring pleasure to the more submissive partner in many ways.
Dominant Sex Toys
Sex toys add an extra level of excitement and pleasure to bedroom activities. These toys are designed to give the dominant partner more control over their submissive’s pleasure, allowing them to control their partner’s orgasms.
Some popular dominant sex toys include vibrators, dildos, and wands held against the female partner’s clitoris while she is in a submissive position with her legs spread.
Handcuffs, ankle cuffs, blindfolds, bed restraints, ropes, and more can add a sense of dominance and control in the bedroom.
These items restrict the submissive partner’s movements and give the dominant partner full access and control over her body.
Handcuffs and ankle cuffs are inexpensive ways to explore dominance in the bedroom. By restraining the submissive partner, the dominant one can take control and bring pleasure to the submissive through various means.
What to Do If She Doesn't Like Dominant Men
If your partner is not comfortable with dominant men, respect her boundaries and take things slow. Talk to her about what she does and doesn’t like in the bedroom, and make sure that you both are on the same page.
It can be helpful to start with some light bondage or role-play activities that involve a bit of dominance but don’t push her too far out of her comfort zone.
Examples include:
- Taking control of the thrusting during sex
- Being on top more
- Gently spanking her during foreplay
- Gently pulling her hair
- Speaking more sternly with a lower voice and deeper pitch
By taking things slow and respecting your partner’s boundaries, you can explore dominance in the bedroom without making her feel intimidated.
Later, you can explore more advanced positions and activities. Make sure to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about what you both want and need in the bedroom.
Remember that dominance in the bedroom does not have to be all about control and power; it can also be about pleasure and connection. Take the time to explore your partner’s body, learn what turns her on, and find out what touches she enjoys.
Benefits of Being More Dominant in the Bedroom
Being more dominant in the bedroom can have many benefits for both partners. It allows partners to explore their desires and fantasies safely and consensually through different types of power play.
It can also help to increase pleasure for both partners, as one partner takes control and leads the way. This can be especially beneficial for shy or inexperienced in the bedroom.
It can also create a stronger bond between partners as they explore and learn about each other’s desires and boundaries.
Conclusion
Spice up your relationship through dominance, sex toys, bondage, and role-playing — giving you the power to make each intimate sexual experience memorable. Want to learn more? Watch this YouTube playlist created by Sexual Quantum Leap.
