The spark tends to burn out when in a long-term relationship. Whether careers, children, or general improper relationship maintenance has gotten in the way, the result is the same. Over time, she loses interest in sex.
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You’re not alone. Many guys will find themselves in your shoes at some point in their relationship. However, getting the spark back and getting your sex-crazed former girlfriend turned uninterested wife back is surprisingly easy, but… the answer isn’t what you think.
If you think you need to give her a mansion with a full-service man-servant to make her horny again or an expensive necklace to make the ladies at work go, “Whoah! That’s nice!” you’re wrong — although some wives would undoubtedly love that and it might even lead to better sex.
However, here are nine far cheaper and simpler things you can give your wife to make her horny without breaking the bank.
Give Her An At-Home Spa Date
Making a woman horny starts with her mind. You can give her body everything it needs, but if her mind is somewhere in Neverland, her libido will be too!
The female libido is highly tied to her mood and emotions. When a woman is stressed or attending to a million different problems, her mind is far away from intimacy and sex. If your partner has been busy with work, children, or general life problems, give her an at-home spa date where she can take her mind off all the things that are inhibiting her sex drive.
The point is to show that you care about her mental and physical health. You don’t need to do much to get the point across. A simple hot bath with bubbles waiting for her as soon as she gets home, taking the kids to their friend’s house for the evening, and fixing the broken sink you’ve promised to fix for the past three months is enough.
However, if you want optimal results, we recommend that you go a little above and beyond. Instead of just running a hot bubble bath for her, dim the lights, light candles, play relaxing music, set up the bedroom or living room with cushions, and have her favorite food on the table when she gets out of the bathtub.
Give Her A Sensual Massage
You’ll get a favorable sexual response by starting the evening with a sensual massage. You don’t have to be a professional masseur, although that would undoubtedly help. Grab some olive or coconut oil from the kitchen or massage oils, warm it up between your hands, and then caress her body from top to bottom.
Ask her to lay flat on her stomach, completely nude. Take your time caressing between her legs, and might we recommend a pussy massage while in the area? Then ask her to turn around, stroke down from her neck, each breast, her stomach, her waist, and then her thighs and legs. Ensure you give every erogenous zone some love and attention before moving on to the next.
The key to a great sensual massage is to save the genital area for last! Her pussy and, more importantly, her clit should be the last things on your mind.
Build anticipation and increase her sexual appetite by starting with foreplay. We’ve written a detailed explanation, but to summarize, foreplay for women can be just as or even more satisfying than sex! One of the many ways women’s and men’s minds are hardwired differently, for some women, you can pleasure every inch of her body and get nowhere, but talk to her in your deepest, sexiest voice and tell her all the sexual things you can’t wait to do to her… she’s soaking wet.
Give Her An Unexpected Holiday
Women love surprise romance. Plus, the fact that you thought about and planned a trip for you both to enjoy will bring her pleasure.
Women enjoy feeling cared for and safe, and they also enjoy having their man’s attention. By planning an unexpected vacation or weekend away trip for you both, you give her the many things she may have been craving lately.
If the relationship has been out on turbulent seas, fighting gigantic waves, and is minutes from sinking into the depths of the deep, then an unexpected holiday away from the children and responsibilities isn’t just nice; it’s absolutely needed!
Relationship maintenance is the key to keeping passion alive in bed. Otherwise, your partner’s dripping wet pussy will be escaping out the window when life’s responsibilities come in through the front door.
Give Her Something Sexy
Simple — buy sex toys! But, you don’t need toys to be a great lover and make her want sex, although they are highly recommended to spice up the relationship and bring something new between the sheets. If you want a detailed explanation of sex toys to make her horny, read this article, but be warned — the relationship will never be the same. INSERT LINK HERE!!!
If sex toys don’t interest you (why the hell not!?), give her sexy lingerie instead. Sometimes, putting on silky and lacey bras and panties is enough to make her horny. If putting it on isn’t enough, ask her to model it for you, and while she does, tell her how incredibly sexy she looks. Don’t be afraid to be descriptive! You can make your wife horny by telling her how much you desire her at that very moment.
Give Her Your Time
Set aside an entire night for sexual pleasure. No children and no distractions. Only you and her! This may come off as beating a dead horse, but your partner might not be horny anymore because she has no time to be. Meaning she’s been busy taking care of work, the house, or the children.
Her sex drive might be on sabbatical due to a houseful of children, unpaid bills, or any other annoyance.
Put some effort into setting the scene. Don’t just guide her into the bedroom, tossed her on the bed, and then expect her to be super horny and craving a night of passion, although there are times with rough sex is what she craves, it’s not the best idea with a low libido.
There are plenty of things you can do to give her your time. Make the sexual experience better by asking her to sit with you and spend the evening writing down your sexual fantasies. Talk about your sexuality and what you desire in the bedroom.
It might not have occurred to her that you are discontent with sex lately. You can’t read her mind, and she can’t read yours. Spend time discussing the relationship and what you feel you’re missing regarding sex.
You can give her your time by cleaning the house before she gets home from work and then passionately kissing her at the front door.
Give her your ear by asking her questions and getting to know your partner’s sexuality. Often couples don’t talk about their needs, and she might feel hers have gone unheard for a long time, hence the non-existent libido.
Lastly, you might consider giving her your time by spending an entire evening devoted to her sexual pleasure without asking her to return the favor. Lead her to the bed, tell her that tonight it’s all about her, start with a massage, give her passionate oral sex, and then spend the rest of the night focusing on her orgasm without asking her to return the favor. Trust that she will return the favor without being asked if she thinks you are a caring partner.
Give Her Romance
Go on a date night once a week. Women enjoy a romantic dinner, followed by seemingly spontaneous desire where you’re ready to rip her clothes off, toss her down on the bed, and enact your wildest fantasies. Long-term relationships lose romance as time passes, and, likely, you have not even thought of taking her out on a date in a long time, especially if children are in the mix.
Romance means something different to every woman. For your partner, that might be a nice candle-lit dinner, and for others, it might entail standing outside in the rain with the radio over your head playing the 80s Greatest Hits. Whatever you do, do it with passion, and it will come across as romantic or at least an honest effort which she will appreciate. For example, a walk around the park can be romantic if you unexpectedly whip out flowers, a blanket, and whine from a backpack and tell her that you’re going to watch the sunset together.
Give Her Compliments
When was the last time you told her she looked beautiful? Talk to your partner as if it’s the first time. Constantly give her compliments and admire whatever drew you to her in the first place.
Many guys struggle with giving compliments and dirty talk, so instead of vocalizing your thoughts, send her a text message or leave notes around the house.
Give Her Food
Take pride in cooking and do so nude if you have to. Cook a nice dinner together and focus on adding as many aphrodisiac foods such as a seafood salad or oysters paired with white wine. Strawberries dipped in chocolate are also a nice touch.
It should go without saying, find a babysitter for the children for the evening. This includes a pet babysitter for your furry friend who might jump on the table, ruining the atmosphere.
Give Her and Yourself Professional Help
Professional help does not look like sitting on a therapist’s sofa, discussing everything that contributed to your dysfunctional sex life, why your libido isn’t what it used to be, and the 100 other obligations that keep her from unleashing her sexual desire.
Professional help does not have to look like a prescription drug. Take these supplements to rid yourself of any sexual dysfunction you might be experiencing! Eat this diet! Take these medially-proven pills to enhance female libido, and you’ll be sorted!
If you have tried either of those two things and they worked for your relationship, and you are now satisfied with your sex life, then we’re happy for you.
But, professional help doesn’t need to be that conventional. Talking to a sex coach, hint, you’re doing that now, can be incredibly beneficial for the health of your relationship. You can find plenty of books written by sex coaches, Youtube tutorials, and even multi-day programs designed to help you understand the female sexual desire and get her sexual appetite back.
If you’re interested in spirituality, might we recommend tantra? You can read all about it from sterile sites such as the British Museum, your favorite source of information, Wikipedia, or even WedMD. Tantric sex is not based on sexual desire but rather on interconnecting bodies. In most cases, practitioners will put off orgasms to focus on enhancing intimacy and closeness with their partner.
Many forms of professional help are accessible to men who want to make their wives horny again. Attempt one or more until you find the one that works for you and your specific situation.
Why She Isn't Horny
It would be amiss if we talked about the ways to make your wife horny without discussing the reasons for her low libido in the first place. Most of these, we’ve already hinted at throughout the article, but here’s a more explicit description.
There are several reasons why she is not horny anymore. Some steam from internal forces, and others from external factors.
Internal forces that might be at play are her self-esteem and confidence, her current headspace, her mental health, or her hormones and physical health.
Women experience periods of low self-esteem and lack of confidence. She might not feel as beautiful as she once was, recently gained weight, or lost some aspect of herself that she believes made her the hottest version of herself, especially as she ages.
Although you still care for and love her, she might not see it that way. Reality and her inner world are not always one-to-one, and you must realize that actions that you think convey to her that she’s still the sexiest woman in the world might be lost in translation from male to female brain. For example, touching her ass and thighs might indicate to you that you’re attracted to the woman in front of you, but to her, in her mind, the same touch might convey the message, “God, no! He’s going to notice all my cellulite!” The best way to help her is to compliment her and continue to reinforce that you still find her very attractive. This can be as simple as saying, “The dress looks nice on you” or “Your hair looks different. Did you go to the salon today?” It really doesn’t take much.
Mental health is essential in all aspects of life, not just her sex drive. She might be going through mental turmoil that has translated to her temporarily losing sexual desire and sex drive. Women in the wrong headspace are not conducive to sexual activity and you can’t expect her to have a high sex drive.
Big things might be happening in her life — someone died, someone is sick, someone is going to lose their job, or someone has a lot of debt to pay. Or it can be small things running up and down her mind, preventing sexual arousal — the kids are failing a class, the kids want a new expensive device, the neighborhood gossip, or that stain on the carpet from the New Years’ party is really driving her insane! Big or small — the effect is the same.
Hormones are a significant indicator of female sexual desire. There will be times during the month, during ovulation, when most women will have an incredibly high sex drive and other times when she won’t want anything to do with sex and would much prefer to eat cookies and cuddle on the sofa. Estrogen, the primary female hormone, plays a significant role in sexual desire.
This is especially true if your wife is older and close to menopause. As women age, they naturally have a lower libido. This does not mean that her libido is at rock bottom, and she has no interest in sex anymore. Absolutely not! Milfs are a thing for a reason; women in their 40s,50s, and even 60s can and do enjoy sex. However, lower libido is not uncommon as both women and men age.
Pregnancy also affects sexual activity. If your wife is pregnant, it’s not uncommon for pregnant women to have periods of extreme sexual desire followed by periods of low or non-existent sex drive. Her low sex drive will most likely resolve after pregnancy. Be warned! Many women suffer from postpartum depression, so you might find her low sex drive continues for a while after giving birth.
External factors that might impede her sex drive are relationship issues, physical abuse, or anything or anyone that forces her to think of sex in an unflattering light will cause low libido in women.
Whatever the reason for her low libido, you can, with a little effort, get your sex-crazed kitten back from hiatus using the stupidly easy methods we prescribed above.
Resources
If you’re looking for deeper insights into pleasing a woman and becoming the best partner she’s ever had, consider enrolling in the Best She’s Ever Had course, where you’ll learn practical advice for improving your sex life from how to actually eat a woman out, initiating anal, and becoming a leader inside and outside of the bedroom. Access our free online resources and Facebook group, hear from other guys on our online forum, and read the Best She’s Ever Had, a best-selling book on Amazon, or invest further into your sex life by joining one of our exclusive 5-Day retreats and online academy.
