Could masturbation be destroying your sex life?
Jerking off, fapping, beating your meat, spanking the monkey…whatever you call it, every guy does it. We’re told that it’s completely normal and healthy to masturbate, even if you do it everyday.
What if it isn’t?
What if your masturbation habits are damaging your sex life?
Even worse – what if jerking off affected your relationships, or even your bank account? It’s very possible, so keep reading…
A few years ago, I was in the thick and thin of my battle with erectile dysfunction. After years in the porn industry with no problems, my penis decided it was time to quit.
I became totally frustrated, unable to please my wife. At this point, I would’ve done anything to get my mojo back.
I tried pills, exercises, meditation, and nothing seemed to work.
How could this happen to me?
One day, I was browsing the internet and report after report of men who quit masturbating and saw massive results from it. It completely changed their lives. I thought to myself:
“Psh…no way. That’s silly. Everyone masturbates!”
Fast forward a few days, and I’m still struggling with erectile dysfunction. I sat down and thought to myself, am I masturbating too much? Is this affecting me? Could it be true?
I decided to do an experiment on myself, and see what it’s like to quit masturbating. I decided to quit for just a week and see what happens.
The experiment was a gigantic success, and my sex life took a complete 180. I’m finally able to make my wife orgasm again, so you could say my whole family’s happy now.
I’ve had so much success that now, I don’t masturbate at all unless I need it. I used to masturbate at least 3 times a week, but today I manage to keep it to once a month.
It was a long and hard struggle, but I’m happy to say it’s been worth all the effort. Today I’d like to share my experience with quitting masturbation.
Is Masturbating Too Much Bad?
When I saw guys talking about quitting masturbation, this is the first question I asked myself.
I thought that masturbation was healthy.
That’s what everyone told me for years, right?
The answer is that masturbation, as an act, is not a problem. Masturbation as a habit is where it’s a problem, specifically when it becomes an addiction.
The question to ask yourself is, “am I masturbating too much?”
This is a hard question to answer. Everybody is different, and everyone reacts differently. It’s difficult to quantify exactly how much is “too much” masturbation.
Instead, experiment with yourself. No one can find out what works for you, but yourself.
How do you know if masturbation is negatively affecting you? If you say “yes” to any of the below, you’re probably addicted.
- You can’t get hard for your partner, but you can for porn
- Orgasms can’t happen during real sex, but you can have them with masturbation
- You don’t desire real sex, only masturbation
I’ll elaborate on the last point. If you have a wife or girlfriend and want masturbation more than you want sex, you might have a problem.
The best way to tell if masturbation is negatively affecting your life is to take a break. Do an experiment on yourself, and see what the results were.
It’s just like anything addictive – masturbation, chocolate, even alcohol. If you think you have a problem, take a break, cold turkey, and see how you feel.
That’s what got me off the masturbation train. I decided to give up masturbation for a week, just to see what would happen.
After two days I had crazy pent up energy, I was frustrated, and had constant urges. By day 6….I finally saw results…and had crazy sex with my wife.
After not being able to get it up for months, this was mind-blowing!
That week without masturbating made me decide 100% that masturbation should be limited. From there on out, I was committed to minimizing my masturbation habit to better please my wife.
Quick disclaimer – even though I’ve cut back on masturbating, I still practice edging regularly.
For me, edging and sex ONLY is the perfect balance for me to be able to get hard erections and be able to please my wife. The key is to experiment with yourself and see how your body performs.
If you’re struggling with ED, stick to no edging, and add it in slowly. Edging is beneficial but can cause you to orgasm, which will erase the effects of no masturbation.
What’s So Bad About Masturbation?
As discussed earlier, masturbation as an act isn’t harmful, it’s the habit that becomes dangerous.
Why is that?
The answer is dopamine.
I promise not to get all scientist on you, but it’s helpful to understand a little of what’s going on in your brain.
Dopamine is known as the “reward chemical.” When you do something good, your body rewards you by releasing dopamine into your brain.
“Something good” ranges from cleaning your room, reading a book, all the way to eating and…having sex.
Having sex is one of the smartest things you can do, according to your brain, since it will produce offspring.
When you have sex, your brain dumps a HUGE amount of dopamine, since it wants to reward you. It wants to tell you “hey, keep doing this, this is good for evolution!”
Your brain does the same thing when you masturbate. Your brain thinks you’re having sex whenever you masturbate, so it releases all these happy chemicals in your brain.
Unfortunately, this reward circuitry ends up biting you in the butt.
When you masturbate so much, your brain gets conditioned to masturbate, NOT have sex. That’s why some men have problems getting hard during sex, but not masturbation.
This is why I suggest having sex as much as possible, but not masturbating. You want your brain to be primed for SEX, not jerking off.
Benefits Of Not Masturbating
When I quit masturbating, I found that I was not only the man in the bedroom, I became the man in the office. Something about the sexual energy made me more aggressive, and dominant.
If you browse the internet, there are hundreds (if not thousands) of case studies of guys who agree with me. Men worldwide have quit masturbating and changed their lives.
Here’s a list of all the possible benefits. I’ve noticed a handful of them, and I’ll talk more about my experience after.
- Better social skills
- Less anxiety
- Ability to initiate conversations easily, especially with girls
- Much more in touch with emotions
- Better orgasms
- Better sex
- Clear skin
- Better posture
- Less brain fog
- Improved concentration
- Bigger loads
- Women look more attractive
- More attraction to your partner
- Confidence
- Take risks
- Better with girls
- Improved discipline in all areas
- Improved erection quality
- Ability to last longer
- Ability to last multiple rounds
- Increased happiness (dopamine regulation)
- Enjoy the simple things
- More steady emotions, no longer roller coaster
- Better attitude
These are all the effects men have felt all over the world.
My experience was very similar. Here’s how it went.
The first thing that happened is that I became extremely horny. The first day was fine, but when it was time for my nightly wank session, my body was ready to masturbate, just like clockwork. I resisted and made it through, but this was extremely challenging.
Three days in, I started feeling the psychological effects noted above. I walked into the office and felt like I owned the place. When I got into workplace discussions, I was much more firm and dominant in my speech, and won over more people.
I felt like I had bigger balls, literally and figuratively. Not masturbating built up a stockpile of semen in my testicles, which weighed them down. But the true benefit was in my mind.
I knew since I can control my masturbation, I can control anything! The confidence you gain is so great, it’s hard to explain.
After about a week, my erection quality started to become more consistent. My wife and I started having awesome sex regularly again, and the rest is history.
Does Masturbation Cause Erectile Dysfunction?
Here’s the question everyone wants an answer to – does masturbation cause erectile dysfunction?
Yes and no.
First, let’s talk more about what causes erectile dysfunction. The scientific community still hasn’t decided what exactly causes erectile dysfunction, but it all comes down to two things:
- Physical Health – circulation, fitness, blood-flow, diet, testosterone, etc.
- Mental Health – a positive mindset, a happy attitude, low stress, no anxiety, etc.
There are a handful of diagnosable illnesses that cause ED, but those will affect mental health and physical health too, so the jury’s still out.
Back to masturbation…does it cause erectile dysfunction? No. There are millions of men out there who masturbate and have no problem getting an erection.
However – excessive masturbation will lower your erection quality. If you already have poor health and weak erections, masturbation will make it worse.
On the other hand, there are guys who are in great health and masturbate regularly, who don’t have ED. The reason is that these guys are so healthy and have such good circulation, it doesn’t matter if they masturbate. These are usually young guys, who go to the gym.
They’re in good health overall, so even if they masturbate, they still perform at such a high level that they can afford to masturbate.
Therefore – if you’re having trouble with erectile dysfunction, quit masturbating. It will definitely help you.
Beware Of “Death Grip”
One of the main reasons men should stop masturbating is Death Grip.
Death Grip is a common problem where men’s penises become so desensitized, they can’t properly receive pleasure and reach orgasm with normal sex. These men masturbate with such a strong grip, the nerves in the penis start dying off, and lose the ability to feel.
The penis is made of skin after all. If you put your skin through tough work, the body will react by toughening up that area. If you’ve ever lifted weights and gotten calluses, you know this to be true.
Your penis does the same thing. The more tight grip you put on it, the tougher the skin becomes, and the harder it becomes to feel pleasure.
Many men have this issue, but have never heard of it addressed like this.
I understand how it goes, it’s a slippery slope. When you first start masturbating, you just use the “OK” sign, but then you want to use your whole hand. You don’t have any lube, so you use a super tight grip in order to pleasure yourself.
The force you apply with your hand is much stronger than any vagina could ever give. After masturbating like that for decades, it’s easy to see why some men become so desensitized!
If you’re guilty of using death grip, you should definitely try to quit masturbation. Even if you don’t go cold turkey, try to make your masturbation more like real sex, to start priming your nerve endings again.
Apply lotion, lube, or coconut oil, and use a looser grip.
Try to make your hand more like a vagina, and after a while, the feelings of pleasure will come back.
Even if you are still able to orgasm through sex, most men who masturbate regularly are dealing with some kind of death grip syndrome. Quit masturbating, and sensitivity will go up.
What Is Sex Like After I Quit Jerking Off?
One thing guys always ask me is what my sex life is like now that I’ve quit masturbating.
The biggest benefit is that I’m able to keep an erection better. This is the most important thing, in this entire article. Quitting masturbation, even limiting it, has helped me stay hard for my wife, hands down.
The other benefit is that sex is more enjoyable. Do you remember the first time you had sex, how warm and amazing it felt?
Sex used to be like that but got boring after a while.
Now, that’s completely false.
Sex feels AMAZING. After craving something for so long, you go wild once you get it.
Not masturbating makes me horny 24/7, especially if my wife is away, and once I get her in bed? Whooo watch out, I am going to town!
Sex feels so much better because my penis is much more sensitive. There are no more times when I’m thrusting away at my wife, thinking about other things. The sensation on my penis is so electrifying, it’s hard to describe.
The one “problem” with not masturbating is that you won’t last as long in bed. This is a simple fact.
When you masturbate regularly, you’re conditioning your penis for sex. As we discussed, the nerves are getting beat up by masturbating, so they become less sensitive.
This translates to less performance in bed. When you finally get to having sex, your penis hasn’t been touched in…days!
The nerves are very sensitive and will react as such.
You will not be able to last as long. Fortunately, there’s a simple way to fix this…by having more sex!
Slowing down on masturbating will provide you with more energy, desire, and semen needed to have sex multiple times a day.
This is where some guys would ask, “can’t I just jerk off before sex to last longer?” I don’t agree with this, especially if you’re fighting ED.
Putting it all together…quitting masturbation helps all aspects of your sex life.
Less masturbation improves ED, which gives you more sex.
More sex means better relationships and a happy wife.
How To Stop Masturbating: A Step-By-Step Plan
1. First, measure
What I want you to do here is measure how much you jack off. Take a week and be honest with yourself, and do whatever you would normally do, even if you didn’t read this blog.
This is the benchmark that we’ll measure your future results off, so don’t worry if it’s extremely high.
Knowing exactly how much you masturbate is important for the next steps.
If you masturbate 3 times a day, you’re going to have a much different experience than someone who only jerks off once a week.
2. Now, Cut
Now that you know how much you masturbate in a week, I want you to cut it down.
What I’ve done is break it down into different levels, based on how much you masturbate.
Take how much you masturbate in a week, and see what level you correspond with below.
Your goal shouldn’t be to completely eliminate masturbation from your life. This is a difficult task to accomplish, and I wouldn’t tell you that it’s easy. I want you to take your time and slowly make progress.
Every month, focus on going up one level. This plan will help you focus on the goal at hand. This is a long process, and I want you to be patient.
| Level 10 | Less than once a month |
| Level 9 | Once a month |
| Level 8 | Twice a month |
| Level 7 | 3-4 Times a month |
| Level 6 | Twice a week |
| Level 5 | 3-4 times a week |
| Level 4 | 5-6 times a week |
| Level 3 | 7 times a week (every day) |
| Level 2 | 8-10 times a week |
| Level 1 | 10+ times a week |
Focus on climbing the ladder one step at a time.
It’s just like making money, or any goal. If you can only deadlift 200 lbs today, I’m not going to tell you to lift 400 lbs tomorrow. You’ll start with 205 lbs…then 210….then 220…after a while, you’ll be lifting 400 lbs no problem.
Same thing with masturbation. It’s an unreasonable expectation for me to tell you to quit masturbation instantly. Take it one step at a time, and you’ll be there in no time.
Troubleshooting
This section will be very helpful for everyone. Once you start trying to quit masturbation, you will run into many roadblocks. Thankfully, you have Big Mike, and I’m here to guide you through the entire process.
Identify Triggers
To some, masturbation is a habit. To others, it’s more of a drug, something they perform to make themselves feel better.
The key to quitting masturbation is to identify your triggers.
Triggers are events, moods, times, places, colors, smells….anything that gets you in the mood and on the path to putting your hand down your pants.
Here are some examples, what I commonly see with guys:
- First thing in the morning – you have morning wood and want that pep in your step to start the day
- Reacting to Failure – you mess up, you lose at something, and need some release
- Last thing at night – (this is what I always did) you’ve had a stressful day, you’re horny and want to unwind before going to sleep
- Places like the shower – for whatever reason, guys like to jerk off in the shower, so whenever they take a shower, they start getting the urges
Humans are creatures of habit, and if you do something so many times, your body will instinctively do the same thing over and over again. Masturbation is no exception to this, so you must identify WHEN, WHERE, and WHY you masturbate.
Once you’ve identified your triggers, it’s time to be conscious of them. For example, I used to masturbate at night.
To fight this, I started getting into a structured nighttime routine that includes journaling, reading, drinking non-caffeinated tea, and relaxing before bed. Now, whenever I get into bed, I habitually pass out, instead of masturbating.
Flatline
Flatline is a strange occurrence that happens when you quit masturbating.
It’s characterized by a sudden and absolute loss of libido and can be very troubling.
I’ve had it happen, and it’s definitely rough. One day you’re the horniest person in the universe, ready to hump the wall…the next? You feel like a priest, completely devoid of all emotion.
No one’s sure exactly why the flatline occurs, but it’s a widely noted event.
When you’re going through the flatline, stay the course. Do not worry. Your libido will be back, your brain is just sorting itself out.
It goes without saying – do NOT masturbate! When guys go through the flatline, they think to themselves, “hmm…maybe I should test the water with some light stroking, you know…to make sure it still works.”
Wrong! Don’t do this! If you want to test if your dick still works, have sex, it’s much better than tempting yourself with masturbation.
What Happens When You Stop Masturbating?
When you stop masturbating, your whole world will open up.
If you deal with erectile dysfunction, masturbation is definitely one of the reasons why you’re not able to get it up.
Also, if you aren’t having a good relationship with your partner, and sex has lost its flame, masturbation could be taking away from the passion and fire of the relationship.
If you have good sex, but just feel like life isn’t as enjoyable as it used to, masturbation might be messing with your brain chemicals.
Quitting or limiting masturbation can only have positive effects on your life. Your sex will be more pleasurable, your relationship will be deeper, and of course…you’ll have more time to do other things!
P.S. – Masturbation is only one thing that can cause erectile dysfunction. Even if you quit completely, it might not be enough to cure you.
The thing is, you’re not alone. There are thousands of men out there just like you, who spend their nights making excuses to their wife, instead of making sweet passionate love.
If you’re tired of dealing with a limp dick and want to eliminate ED once and for all, don’t miss ED Reverser.
It’s the complete system to fixing ED, no matter what your situation.
