Great sex will keep her coming back for more, initiating sex more often, and you and your partner will be more mentally, emotionally, and of course, physically satisfied.
Table of Contents
A woman once told me I was shit in bed and led me on a 10-year journey to learn how actually to be good in the bedroom. Unless you have been specifically told, “You’re shit. Do better,” it’s hard to gauge where you stand, which is why we’ve created a list of ten subtle and non-subtle ways to know if you’re actually good in bed.
1. You're Confident
Confidence does not come only from being fit and good-looking. You don’t need that to rock her world and keep her coming back for more. You show confidence by,
- Leaving the lights on
- Talking openly about sex
- Being open to suggestions and learning about sexuality
- Being comfortable nude
- Taking care of yourself (exercise, diet, shower, shave)
A big penis does not equal confidence. A lot of guys make the mistake of putting too much emphasis on the size of their dick and too little focus on their skills and connecting with their partner.
2. You Understand Women's Bodies
If you said that you understood the female body well, you would 100% be a part of a small minority. Many men do not know where or how to touch a woman or find the G Spot.
Women do not always orgasm from penetration alone; therefore, you don’t hesitate to eat pussy like a champ or use toys such as a Hitachi Wand, G Spot Vibrator, or Clit Suction Device.
3. You're an Enthusiastic Lover and Aim to Please
Not only do you understand the female figure, but you know exactly what it takes to satisfy it. You have a firm grasp of techniques and practices that induce multiple orgasms, and you enthusiastically use them every time in bed.
You love eating pussy, and you do not treat it like a chore that comes before sex. Most women will not orgasm from penetration alone, so if you’re willing to put in the effort to eat her pussy or massage it, or even eat her ass, then you’re good in bed. You take guidance and are not afraid to talk openly about sex. Whatever she needs you to do in order to orgasm, you look forward to hearing about it.
4. You're Eager to Learn and Improve Your Sex Life
You care about your partner’s pleasure. You’re curious and practice your skills. You’ve probably watched a few cunnilingus tutorials and studied up on the best positions to make your partner orgasm.
You are likely a good lover if you recognize your shortcomings and work to improve them. You know that better is always possible and never falter at the challenge. After sex, you put your ego aside and ask for feedback.
5. You're Down to Try Sex Toys and New Things
Missionary and only missionary is amazing, said no woman ever! Most women want to try new things and experiment in the sack.
You’re good in bed if your wheelhouse consists of more than just missionary and doggie. You don’t have to own a brand new copy of the Kama Sutra, although you are likely to find some inspiration in those pages, to be open to switching things up from time to time.
You probably explored BDSM, tantra, or erotic massages. You have sex in different rooms in the house or at different hours of the day, and experiment with multiple positions to keep things fun and exciting.
No matter the request, you are willing to listen. You have an imagination and perhaps have purchased a few sex toys, devices, or sexy lingerie for your partner to keep things hot and engaging.
6. You Communicate with Your Sexual Partner
Communication is key. Why waste your time doing something that neither of you enjoys?
You are on the same page as your partner and talk honestly. If something isn’t working, you don’t pretend. Instead, you talk to your partner. Your relationship is always honest; you are not afraid to ask or answer questions and never assume your partner’s needs. If her fantasies are fulfilled, she’ll be just as willing to fulfill yours.
7. You Know that Sex is Not Like Porn
You accept that sex does not always look like a porn set, and you don’t try to Jackhammer your partner to smithereens every time.
You’re probably good in bed if you do not treat your relationship like a porno and instead are open to sex being unscripted. You’re not afraid to be freaky, wet, wild, and occasionally dirty, never taking the moment too seriously.
Also, porn might be hurting and not help you in the bedroom. Porn has been linked to causing low libido amongst men under the age of 40 due to unrealistic expectations and limitless access.
8. You Understand Body Language
Talking is more than the spoken word. Humans express themselves more using non-vocal communication, AKA – body language.
When you understand her body language, it’s a sign you’re in tune mentally and emotionally with your partner. You understand the sexual cues that point to her being ready and in the mood. The importance of being in tune with your partner can not be understated. Studies show that women orgasm more when there is a mental and emotional connection.
Good sex is not only a physical connection. It’s a deep emotional connection coupled with physical techniques. You can’t have one without the other if you want to be an extraordinary lover.
9. She Initiates Sex A LOT!
Consent is sexy and enthusiastic consent is even better! Nothing feels better than having a woman willingly participate and ask more from you.
Women experience sex differently than males due to changing hormones during the menstrual cycle. There are periods of peak arousal and periods of low or nonexistent arousal, but ultimately ladies are as interested in sex as men.
When a woman initiates sex, it means she craves and wants you to fulfill any needs, fantasies, and desires she has in the bedroom. No woman will waste her time initiating a sexual encounter that is unsatisfying and leaves her wanting more or thinking of ways to satisfy her needs without you.
10. You've Been Told You're Good in Bed
Am I Good in Bed? If your partner replied, “yes,” then she meant it, especially if she asked to see you again. You know that you’re good in bed when she wants more! If you have a person who keeps coming back to you, it means she likes what she’s buying and doesn’t need to shop elsewhere.
Maybe she doesn’t use words to tell you that you’re amazing in bed. If she is wet, that’s her body’s way of telling you that you’re probably good in bed.
So, You Aren't Good in Bed? How Can You Improve?
You can improve in the bedroom by focusing on better communication with your partner and improved skills. Create a safe environment where she feels comfortable discussing her wants and needs. This could mean writing down what you like and dislike about sex with your partner and keeping an open mind as you discuss it.
Secondly, learn how to touch your partner. You can’t go into the bedroom and only touch her breast, ass, and vagina. Try experimenting and touching hypersensitive areas all along her body to make her wet and aroused. For example, kiss her neck, play with or pull her hair, and massage her entire body with good-smelling oils.
If you want to become a masterful lover that leaves his partner better and wetter, try one of our retreats or courses at Sexual Quantum Leap.
